DEAR MISS MANNERS: I'm a new mother, trying my best to keep up with all the new demands that motherhood brings. And I just finished reading a column in which you said that "Maybe" was never an appropriate response when you RSVP.
I admit I have been saying "Maybe" to events lately. I would really like to attend these events if possible, but if I need to stay home to nurse my son, then I wouldn't be able to attend. (I don't include all those details in the RSVP -- just mentioning them here so you understand why I haven't been committing!)
I assume that when my son is older and on a schedule, it will become easier for me to commit definitively. But what should I do in the meantime? Just decline all invitations? Say yes, and then back out at the last minute if I cannot attend?
GENTLE READER: While Miss Manners is sympathetic to the pressing and unpredictable demands of new motherhood, she also cautions against relying on your child as a perpetual excuse (in non-emergency situations, of course).
You will find that it will be an endless resource and will have the unfortunate result of diminishing invitations.
While it is still early, you may want to find a way to reconcile this with a social life now. If finding an alternative food source for your son is not an option, then yes, decline invitations until you and your son can find a mutually satisfying schedule (backing out at the last minute will not be looked upon kindly more than once). Your hosts would likely be much happier knowing that your status is temporary, than thinking of you as simply an unreliable guest.