DEAR MISS MANNERS: In both business and personal dealings, it is often the case that emails are received containing typographical errors. In the days before email, one might ignore or even correct these incoming mistakes in a paraphrase ("In your letter of the 4th you asked about ...") but with email, it is common to have the original email attached at the end of your own.

When the spellchecker goes over your outgoing email, it flags and offers opportunities to correct the typos in both your response and the original email. How is this best handled?

GENTLE READER: With restraint. Technology may have made it easier to correct the mistakes of friends or business associates, but Miss Manners notices it has done nothing to make such behavior more endearing.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I find it extremely annoying to be separated from my spouse at the dinner table at my mother's house. This seems like an old tradition.

We like to touch and talk and do not talk about the kids, the dog or work, but we feel isolated and controlled when told where to sit. I would never dream of telling a guest where to sit.

Isn't the job of the hostess to make sure the guest is comfortable? What do you think? She knows we don't like it but does it on purpose.

GENTLE READER: What about the discomfort you cause those who do not want to watch you and your husband touching each other? And do the others at the table like it when you ignore the opportunity to be with them in favor of someone you see every day?

Of course it is the job of the hostess to tell everyone where to sit, in the interest of promoting general sociability. You have provided Miss Manners with an illustration of why this is necessary.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I come from a family in which the women tend to be overweight. In my teens, I was following in my relatives' footsteps; to be blunt, I was fat.

However, when I was 16, I went on an eight-month diet, lost all the extra weight, and have kept it off ever since, via nothing more strenuous than portion control and some daily exercise -- which means brisk walking, not expensive gym visits. I love to cook and eat what I like. I just don't eat too much of it.

I am now 52. As I've aged, I've been asked more frequently, "How do you stay so slim?" I answer honestly: "Well, I don't eat too much, and I try to get some exercise every day."

I have been told that I am being rude. The woman who said this explained that the question, "How do you stay so slim?" doesn't require a real answer; it is merely a compliment. If I answer truthfully, I am implying that the questioner does eat too much and doesn't get exercise.

Fair enough, I suppose. However, according to my accuser, I am supposed to respond, "Just lucky, I guess," or "It's genetic."

Miss Manners, I am not going to claim that I was blessed by the weight gods when I wasn't, and I feel that I'm not telling anyone anything she doesn't already know: The way to avoid weight gain is not to eat too much and to get some exercise. However, if you agree that I am being rude, I'll avoid this answer. But could you suggest what I might say instead without actually lying?

GENTLE READER: There are many conventional questions of the "How are you?" variety for which an "honest" answer is neither expected nor welcome. Given how alarmingly common the weight question has become, Miss Manners can understand why your acquaintance thinks it has fallen into this category.

This does not, however, lessen the fact that the question itself is, if asked casually or of a stranger, not complimentary, but rude. Compliments take the form, "You look wonderful" -- and then only in situations and with people about whom it is acceptable to notice personal attributes. While you are under no obligation to answer the question, you cannot justly be called rude for doing so.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Is it acceptable to solicit cash donations to fund my child's extracurricular school trip from friends, family and business acquaintances? In the event that someone solicited does not reply, is it reasonable to ask again, or should the silence be interpreted as a "no"?

GENTLE READER: Do you have reason to believe that these people have enough interest in your child's extracurricular activities and sufficient discretionary funds that they would welcome the opportunity to contribute?

Would you gladly do the same for their children?

If you cannot say yes to both questions, Miss Manners advises you to refrain from attempting to embarrass them into complying.

But she gathers that you did not refrain. Can you at least refrain now from dunning those who did not respond? Silence does indeed mean "no," if not "Please go away."

DEAR MISS MANNERS: One of my friends came to visit over a holiday weekend. She lives across the country, so we've mainly kept in touch through email since high school (we are now in our late 20s).

She had plans to see a sports game and go on a bar crawl with several other friends in the city. She did invite me to meet up with the group, but I had to work and I don't drink. We did meet for lunch, though.

I thought we had a nice visit -- until yesterday, when I received an email from her saying she was very disappointed about our last visit because one of her other friends spent two days with her and I had only met her for lunch. She's also displeased that I haven't made it across the country to visit her.

I work in a hospital, which means 12-hour shifts on weekends and holidays. I have also been in school. I explained that I had to work on a few of the days she would be here (it's very difficult to get time off), but I thought a lunch between her planned activities would be nice. Obviously, this was not enough, because she is now saying she doesn't think it's worth it to just keep in touch via email.

I would like your advice on how to respond to this, and if you think the friendship is worth trying to salvage.

GENTLE READER: A charitable way to look at your friend's critique is that she misses you, made a great effort to see you, and is hoping that you will return the visit so that you can spend some time with her when you are undistracted by work obligations.

Another way to read it is that she dismisses your obligations as unimportant and had refused to heed your warning about them before she made the trip.

It would depend on the tone of the letter, which Miss Manners has not seen. Where was it on the scale between cajoling and scolding?

In either case, you would have to decide whether you want a petulant friend. If you don't, you need not respond. But if you do, your answer should be, "I, too, would like to spend more time together. But as I explained, I don't always have that choice."

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: In the mail this morning, I received five photographs of a young child aged 2, the daughter of a relative, in various poses, with the following non-invitation:

"It has been a great year and she is growing up so fast. Thank you for all the love and support from all our family and friends. We are not having a party this year and hope to see everyone soon. Renata has been blessed with all of you in her life and really does not need anything. However, if you insist on a gift, can we suggest contributions to Renata's 529 College Savings Fund?"

What would be the proper response to such an invitation?

GENTLE READER: "Happy birthday, Renata."

Her parents have invited you not to insist upon paying for her education, and Miss Manners recommends that you take them up on that.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I like "Best wishes" or "Best regards" to end business correspondence, but I've been toying with alternatives for friends and family.

Here they are: "Live healthy," "Live free," "Be safe," etc.

Am I creating a trend perhaps not respectful of tradition (manners)?

GENTLE READER: When traditions need improving, Miss Manners will let you know.

There is nothing wrong with signing off with assurances of sincerity or good wishes or affectionate sentiments. Admonishing your correspondents to lead safe, healthy lives sounds remarkably like nagging.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My husband and I are in our early 50s. We have a friend who is in his 30s and single. Through a relationship that we won't go into, he now has a 1-year-old daughter who stays with him from time to time.

Every time she comes into town to spend the weekend, she ends up at our house for hours on end. He might drop in and suddenly need to "run an errand if you can watch her for a bit." Or he sends a text to ask what we are up to. If I say we are hanging around the house, he appears on the doorstep saying he knows we wouldn't mind keeping her for a while.

We don't have children, and really, at this point in our lives, are not good with children. We value our friendship but are becoming annoyed with this situation. Whenever I mention that we aren't "kid people," he laughs and says he knows his daughter is the exception.

Any way out of this without completely dissolving our friendship?

GENTLE READER: "I'm so sorry, but we just aren't set up to have a child in the house on her own. We would love to see the two of you together or just you, of course, but I'm sure that your daughter would much rather have her father around -- whom she came to see, after all."

Miss Manners hopes that this will not only get you out of baby-sitting, but will also encourage your friend to spend more time with his daughter -- or at least consider the responsibilities before having another.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)