DEAR MISS MANNERS: It has become so frequent as to be nearly ubiquitous these days that whenever I am called upon to pass some time in a doctor's waiting room, I am required to at least listen to a television broadcast.

I write not to ask whether anything can be done about forcing television on captive audiences, but to inquire about whether there is a polite way to pass my waiting time without having to listen to the television, which is nearly always tuned to a news channel with whose political views I take issue.

On the other hand, informing the receptionist that I will choose to wait in the parking lot places an undue burden on the office staff when it is my turn to be called. Is there an acceptable alternative to simply putting up with it?

GENTLE READER: Possibly. Miss Manners has been in waiting rooms where everyone present was reading, dozing or playing with their telephones, and still the television droned on.

Offices that feel no compunction about keeping people waiting for long periods of time nevertheless do feel obliged to provide entertainment. As these offices' previous idea of amusement was to provide old issues of pharmaceutical magazines, they probably consider television to be a bold step into the new media world.

Your first line of defense should be to ask those present whether anyone is watching. If several people are, you are stuck. If only one or two are, you can ask whether they would mind moving closer to the set so that they could hear it with the volume turned down. But if no one answers, you will be a heroine if you ask the receptionist if you may turn it off.

A refusal should justify your asking for a quiet place to wait and supplying your telephone number for a summons.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: What is a gracious way of deflecting questions about my voting intentions in the coming election? And what of circumstances where my would-be interrogators do not pick up on gentle attempts to steer the conversation to a less divisive and explosive topic?

GENTLE READER: Then you address the one they started.

No, not to answer it -- Miss Manners said to address it. You could do this by turning it into a conversation, instead of a quiz.

"Isn't it strange," you might ask, "that the secret ballot must have been intended to protect us from the powerful, and now it protects us from one another? I've seen people who I thought had the highest respect for each other becoming alienated simply because they have honest political disagreements. Do you find that people who disagree with you have more rancor about it than they used to?"

Of course, you will say all this pleasantly, without emphasizing the implication that you will turn angry and disrespectful if your interrogator's politics turn out not to be identical with yours.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: After my son's funeral, a woman came to me and requested she get the flowers back that she had brought to the service. I thought this was extremely tacky! What would you have done?

GENTLE READER: Probably just looked at her with tears welling up and said nothing before walking sadly away.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Alas, once again I have been the victim of the cellphone.

After years and years of not seeing a couple, I was pleased to have them to dinner recently. I spent a day or two getting the meal prepared so that I would not interrupt the flow of conversation as I served the four different courses.

When I issued the definitive invitation, I asked them, if they would kindly place their cellphones in the "off" position while they were in my house. I am glad I did not ask them to refrain from expectorating on the floor. They simply ignored me.

Early in the evening, their son called them, and without rising from the table, they sat there and chatted with him, passing the phone back and forth, and telling him that I sent my regards (which I did not). Then the husband proceeded to slip the cellphone out of his pocket at least 10 times during the remainder of the meal to read something -- I know not what, since we were not privy to the communications he was sent.

I did not say anything to them, since a good host does want his guests to feel at ease. I courteously gave them a couple of things they had enjoyed eating to take home.

Now what do I do? I am still trying to rid myself of the rancor of this experience.

First of all, I realize that these two people have very little consideration for me and my feelings, and of course, even less for the other guest at the table with them. Second, I realize that I really am pretty boring and that my conversation at the table is not enough to keep these two acquaintances' attention. Third, I really should not have invited them to dinner, and fourth, I will not invite them again, nor accept their invitations, since they really do not think a whole lot of me.

But what about other people? Must I always specify when I invite people not to bring their cellphones and not to use them, and then when they pull them out, ask them to step outside to use them?

Someone who interrupts conversation to speak with someone on a cellphone, or spends the evening checking messages, really irritates me. Most people would not try to smoke or clean a pipe at the table in a private home if asked not to do so. Am I being too subtle?

GENTLE READER: You are not a victim of the cellphone. You are the victim of rude people, whom you have sensibly ejected from your life. And you are gloomily assuming that this form of rudeness is so pervasive that it is likely to be practiced by others whom you initially think well enough of to invite to dinner.

Miss Manners hopes not. In any case, it is not flattering to guests to announce etiquette rules to them in advance, as if they would not otherwise know how to behave. And collecting their telephones from them is not exactly gracious.

She suggests waiting for a violation, at which point you can rise and get the violator's attention to say, "Please take that in the other room. We wouldn't want to annoy you by holding conversation while you are busy."

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I just received an invitation to a child's 1-year-old birthday party. While I was pleased to be invited, on the invitation it advised he is registered at a well-known toy store.

Am I missing something?

I can understand for weddings, but for birthdays it just seems tacky to me. (Especially for a 1-year-old who really has no idea of what is going on, and will probably be just as happy playing with the wrapping paper and box as what's inside.) Is this the New Age yuppie era?

GENTLE READER: No, it was the succeeding Gimme era that thought of farming out its shopping lists. Miss Manners supposes that the child's parents, in choosing items that they might otherwise want to buy him, are thinking of his education: They are teaching him that if you want something, tell others to buy it for you.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I'm getting married soon and have begun receiving gifts via mail or parcel delivery. I will write proper thank-you notes, but we won't get back from the honeymoon until (in some cases) more than a month after receiving the gift.

I've been sending emails to people to thank them, mostly to let them know their gift or check arrived, but I also will send handwritten thank-yous.

Am I going overboard? What's the accepted interval before one should expect a thank-you? I don't want people to think me rude for not thanking them, but I don't want them to think me rude for using email, either. I also don't want them to think their gift was misrouted.

GENTLE READER: Why are you making double work for yourself?

And why does Miss Manners believe that with the best intentions in the world, you are never going to do it? Because you will return from your wedding trip with all sorts of things to do in your new life, and the mere thought of all those letters to write will exhaust you. Oh well, you will tell yourself, you already wrote these people. There are more urgent things to do.

But if you actually get so far as to sit down with a piece of paper, you will ask yourself what more you can say, as they know you received these wonderful presents.

Ah, you could tell them about your trip. But it sounds stupid to say you had a wonderful time on your honeymoon, as if you had expected not to, and anyway, this is supposed to be a thank-you letter, not a travelogue. Is it enough to tack on a "thanks again for ..."?

There is no need to put yourself through all this when you can dash off the handwritten letters as the presents come in, almost as fast as you could write those emails. But it is true, Miss Manners admits, that you would have to factor in the time you spend looking for a stamp.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)