DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have a friend who will use the words "no offense," and then say something very offending. Something like, "No offense, I just don't like your cooking, I guess I'm just used to my own."
I thought that you were trying not to offend someone when you used those words.
She does this all the time, and I would like to know how I should handle it because now she's starting to offend my other friends.
GENTLE READER: Of course. That's what she has obtained your tacit permission to do. As the request comes in the same statement as the insult, you have to move in quickly to refuse.
Breaking in immediately to say, "I'm afraid I'm easily offended," may head off this unpleasant practice. If not, Miss Manners advises responding to the insult by saying sadly, "Indeed, I am offended."