life

Health and Financial Setbacks Combine for Bleak Future

Life and Money With Helaine by by Helaine Olen
by Helaine Olen
Life and Money With Helaine | October 22nd, 2019

Dear Helaine: I am a 64-year-old woman with two problems that will contribute to my being homeless sometime in the future. In 2003, I began dental implant procedures to replace several teeth. I suffered through rejection and a jaw infection, and I couldn't place implants where I had the infection. I have a severe gagging reflex and couldn't tolerate the final bridge, so I am missing teeth, something that contributes to my not being able to find a job. Second, I need to use a cane and walker because of a foot deformity.

My co-op has no mortgage, but I need to pay maintenance and utility bills. I also need to buy food. I haven't worked in years, and my savings will at some point be depleted, leaving me nothing but Social Security. The monthly amount will not cover my needs.

At some point, I will lose my home or have no money for food. This makes me hopeless for the future. I am willing to work. I can work. I just have to find a job where I am sitting down and not facing the public. Any suggestions would be welcome. -- Hopeless and Toothless

Dear Hopeless and Toothless: I feel your despair and pain. It's extremely difficult to recover from financial and health setbacks -- and you've had several -- when you are on the verge of retirement age. I don't have any magic or simple answer for you, alas.

I would urge you to reach out to your local senior centers and religious organizations, and find out what subsidized services you are possibly eligible to receive so you can preserve your funds. You might discover there is help available paying utility bills or accessing food banks. Senior centers also often serve free or low-cost meals. They might even deliver meals to your home via a program like Meals on Wheels, if a local agency deems you eligible for the service.

If your income is no more than 125% of the federal poverty level, you could potentially get a short-term position via the Senior Community Service Employment Program. There are larger changes you should consider, as well. You could investigate relocating to a less-expensive area of the country, or even consider retiring to a low-cost community abroad, an increasingly popular option among seniors with limited financial resources.

And finally, I would urge you to consider using some small portion of your savings to get a consult with a dentist who works with people with sensitive gag reflexes -- yes, they are out there. It is quite possible the bridge you were fitted with was not well made and contributed to your problems.

(To ask Helaine a question, email her at askhelaine@gmail.com.)

(EDITORS: For editorial questions, please contact Sue Roush at sroush@amuniversal.com)

life

House Party Invitation Has Ulterior Motive

Life and Money With Helaine by by Helaine Olen
by Helaine Olen
Life and Money With Helaine | October 15th, 2019

Hi, Helaine: A few weeks ago, I attended a neighbor's house party. She invited me and a bunch of other gals over for coffee, mimosas, brunch and to view a clothing line a friend of hers is selling. After I said yes, I went online and saw the clothing line was a company where the seller earns money for every outfit she sells and every new salesperson she recruits. I decided to go anyway.

The clothes didn't wow me, and they cost too much. I didn't buy anything. My family is on a budget, and I didn't want to use my fun money this way. Almost everyone else bought one or two pieces of clothing.

The next time I saw my neighbor, she told me her friend is financially struggling, and it was expected I would buy at least one item when I said I would attend. She didn't tell me that when she issued the invite, but I nodded, not wanting to get into an argument with someone I see almost every day.

Her friend then followed up, texting me, asking if I would like to view the clothes again. I replied I couldn't afford to now. A week later, she texted me again. I ignored it. Now my neighbor is glaring at me when I see her. What do I do? -- Unhappy Shopper

Dear Unhappy Shopper: First of all, you were not invited to a "house party." You were invited to and attended a multilevel marketing sales event that took place in a home where brunch was served. It was up to you to decide whether to buy the items for sale, and how many items you wanted to buy if you did choose to do so. Under no condition are you obliged to purchase anything.

Your neighbor is in the wrong many times over. First, if she invited people over and expected them to make a purchase, she should have said so up front. Second, when you didn't buy anything, she shouldn't have tried to guilt-trip you into buying. Third, she shouldn't have told her friend to get in touch with you. Fourth, she should understand that there are people -- and it sounds like you are one -- who are uncomfortable with the multilevel marketing model.

And you know what? You are right to be uncomfortable! Studies show most people will make little money, if not lose money entirely, when they sign up for these things. That likely accounts for the desperation and the constant texting.

The next time you see your neighbor, say a cheery hello. If this topic comes up again, suggest she hold a traditional fundraiser for her friend and say you'll be happy to contribute to it. My guess is that will be the end of it.

As for the texter, I'm afraid you'll need to be firm. Thank her for the showing, but say you won't be making a purchase. Then you can ignore -- or block -- any future texts.

(To ask Helaine a question, email her at askhelaine@gmail.com.)

(EDITORS: For editorial questions, please contact Sue Roush at sroush@amuniversal.com)

life

Job Offers Good Money but Unhappy Life

Life and Money With Helaine by by Helaine Olen
by Helaine Olen
Life and Money With Helaine | October 8th, 2019

Dear Helaine: I'm in my early 30s. Three years ago, I had two job offers. One was close to home and near my friends and family, paying $50,000. The other was on the other side of the country, paying $72,000, in an area with a higher median income.

I was fresh out of grad school, frustrated with living with my parents and thought it would be nice to make some good money and explore a new life. So I took the higher offer and moved. Three years later ... I am miserable. Yes, the work is moderately interesting and offers great experience and skill-building, but I have no friends here, my co-workers are uniformly awful people, and I just overall hate living here.

The job situation is not much different than it was three years ago. The jobs I am a match for don't pay more than $60,000 back where I am from, and that's a generous estimate. The cost of living is higher, so even if I could make it work, my margin for savings, investing and traveling, which I've done a lot of the past three years, would get a lot tighter.

How much of a pay cut is it worth taking at this time in my life? What do I need to consider to help me make this decision? I don't want to go any longer being financially secure but personally miserable, but I might be putting myself in the reverse situation if I move back. -- Hopefully Homeward Bound

Dear Hopefully Homeward Bound: I feel your pain. It's very hard to feel like a fish out of water, year after year. At a certain point, it's your life; you can't go backward in time, and staying in a job you don't particularly like in a city you are not happy in isn't worth it. You took a leap into the unknown. It worked financially but not emotionally.

Cities and regions have their ways and modes of communication, and sometimes it's not a match. I'm not going to give you a lecture about joining Meetup to make new friends with your interests, or suggest you look for a new employer in this town. I assume you've already thought of that.

So what should you do next? You could work on budgeting. Come up with the amount of money you would need to live on in your hometown, and use that as your guide. At the same time, you could slowly and methodically explore other cities and see what your options are in them. There are not, after all, only two places to live in the United States. It's a big country! You could very well find another city that offers you a decent living, work you enjoy and a congenial lifestyle. Happy hunting!

(To ask Helaine a question, email her at askhelaine@gmail.com.)

(EDITORS: For editorial questions, please contact Sue Roush at sroush@amuniversal.com)

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