Dear Helaine: Earlier this week, I met one of my gal pals for lunch at a restaurant near my home. As the waiter cleaned the table, a plate slipped and sauce spilled on my friend's dress.

She decided to ask for a credit on our check since she planned to take the outfit to a dry cleaner. The waiter didn't want to do it, but she insisted. At one point as she spoke, I thought I heard him say, "The owner will take this out of my pay." She kept talking, and I don't think she heard. I didn't know what to say, so I said nothing.

When the check came, I added the $10 discount to my tip and didn't say anything to anyone. Now I am wondering if I can ask my friend for the money back. What would you do? -- Dining Blues

Dear Dining Blues: Whether it's legal or not for the restaurant to take the money out of the waiter's pay depends on how they are paid. It's absolutely a legal no-no if it will bring the waiter's earnings below the state minimum wage. Tips are also mostly off-limits. As a result, it's very hard for a restaurant owner to do this and remain on the right side of the law. That doesn't mean it doesn't happen -- it does, and much too often. Restaurants ding waiters and other staff for everything from broken dishes to customers who skip out without paying the bill.

Obviously, the time for you to figure this out would have been at the time of the mishap. All you needed to do then was simply speak up and say, "Did you say your boss would charge you for this?" as he and your friend went back and forth. You likely didn't want to embarrass your friend, and also, most of us think of these things after the fact. Instead, you made an executive decision to compensate the waiter yourself and not discuss it with your pal.

Since you didn't allow her to make a decision at the time, you can't ask her for the money back now. But you might want to avoid the restaurant in the future for its less-than-ethical treatment of its employees. Accidents happen, and a good owner and management take that into account. If you decide to do that, you should call up, ask to speak to the owner, and explain why you are taking your business elsewhere. Perhaps you can make a positive change in the restaurant's business practices.

(To ask Helaine a question, email her at askhelaine@gmail.com.)

(EDITORS: For editorial questions, please contact Sue Roush at sroush@amuniversal.com)

Dear Helaine: I am 68. I recently sold my condo, and I am purchasing a new home in a state popular with retirees. The home will cost about $250,000. Should I get a mortgage or pay cash?

Here's the situation: I've got enough cash to pay about half outright, and then I'd need to unravel some investments. I'd still have several hundred thousand dollars remaining, something that will throw off about $15,000 annually in dividends and interest payments. In addition, I have a decent income from Social Security, and I believe I can get a part-time job, one I think will add at least $10,000 in income a year.

My accountant says I would have no tax advantage getting a mortgage, but my broker says I should mortgage the purchase since my portfolio return well exceeds the mortgage rates of 3.75% to 4%. I don't plan to make any other major purchases except maybe a new car in a year or two.

I really don't want to take on a mortgage of $1,000 per month or more. To me, paying cash is like 3.75% to 4% guaranteed money. Your thoughts? -- Soon To Start Over

Dear Soon To Start Over: There is no reason to take on a $1,000-a-month mortgage payment at your age if you've got the cash to pay the home down immediately, while still leaving you with a tidy nest egg. Common sense says we should minimize regular, repeating expenses when we leave the workforce, not pile them on. That goes double when, as in your case, you'll have an adequate income in retirement, but not an overly generous one.

The bigger question is why your broker is suggesting otherwise. I hate to be cynical, but I suspect the answer is weighted in the broker's self-interest. All that money you are putting into a home means less money for your broker to make investment suggestions on. That, in turn, means less money in your broker's pocket.

When you clean house prior to moving, let me suggest one other item to discard: your broker. I suspect someone getting paid by the hour would be best for you. You need a plan, not trading advice. When you seek a replacement, find someone who has a legal duty to put your interests ahead of their own at all times when giving financial guidance. And the only way you will know this is if you ask about it.

Good luck with your new home -- and your new financial adviser!

(To ask Helaine a question, email her at askhelaine@gmail.com.)

(EDITORS: For editorial questions, please contact Sue Roush at sroush@amuniversal.com)

Hi, Helaine: My boyfriend and I are in our late 50s, and we live together in a house I own, along with his two teenage children from a previous relationship. He would like to sell my house and purchase a larger, more expensive house closer to his work and the children's schools. I am not so sure this is the retirement-smart thing to do, given our ages and the expenses incurred by our adult children from previous relationships.

I purchased my home several years ago, near the bottom of the market. Both my boyfriend and I would each be able to make the mortgage payment on my house if the other were to lose a job or fall ill. The home my boyfriend wants to purchase is worth about $100,000 more than I believe I could receive for our current residence. We'd need both of our incomes to meet the mortgage payments, and if something were to happen, we'd need to pay for the house out of my savings.

He earns twice what I do but has little in savings outside of his retirement account. That concerns me. I lost half my 401(k) in my divorce, and I am still making up for lost time, so I am nervous about starting over at ground zero. Could you please share your thoughts on this scenario? -- Housebound or House-Hunting

Dear Housebound or House-Hunting: It sounds to me like you do not want to sell your current home, and I agree with you. If your boyfriend wants to purchase another home, he should go off and do it. But that's the rub, right? Unless he takes money out of his retirement account, he doesn't have the money for a down payment -- not for your home, never mind one that's more expensive. So he's putting the squeeze on you. He wants you to make a financial sacrifice for his benefit, one with little to no upside for you. If anything, it comes with enormous risks.

As you noted, in your late 50s, it's more than a tad financially risky to take on increased mortgage costs. All too many of us leave the workforce earlier than we plan, either because of ill health or job loss. You might want to remind your boyfriend he's likely going to be helping out with college tuition payments well into his 60s. The last thing he needs is an increase in his monthly living expenses.

(To ask Helaine a question, email her at askhelaine@gmail.com.)

(EDITORS: For editorial questions, please contact Sue Roush at sroush@amuniversal.com)