Dear Helaine: My girlfriend and I moved in together about six months ago, right after she took a new job with a 30 percent pay raise. We immediately sat down and agreed on a budget that would allow us to meet our bills, provide a very reasonable social life and still save a significant amount for the future. We've done a good job of sticking to it.

We're now engaged, and that's given rise to some new financial controversy. She comes from a significantly more affluent family than myself, and our attitudes about debt and money are very different. Her parents have generously given us enough money to cover the majority of our wedding expenses, but she also wants to spend the majority of our savings on a wedding, while at the same time purchasing a home with little down payment. I see this as a poor ordering of our financial priorities, and feel we could save enough for a 20 percent down payment within two or three years.

Also, she would like to buy a home in the top range of our affordability, rather than one we could buy for a lower price and improve ourselves over several years. I don't want to give the impression she's high maintenance and spoiled. She simply has a different view of what is affordable and prefers to purchase things in their finished form rather than buy basic and improve. What do you suggest? -- Hoping for Richer Rather Than Poorer.

Dear Hoping: The financial baggage from our families is with us for our entire lives. For many of us, it becomes a set point. Grow up in straitened circumstances, and you are forever convinced the financial wolf can arrive at the door at any moment. Those who grow up wealthy, on the other hand, frequently start from the opposite position -- things will always work out for the best. Money is viewed as something that will be forever replenished.

This seems to be the primary issue between you and your future wife, and it is emerging whenever a major purchase -- from a wedding to a home -- is involved. I suspect this is something you will need to come to a middle position on, something that will be hashed out over time.

In the meantime, I will point out that real estate investors often say the home to buy is the worst house on the best street, which sounds like a compromise between your two positions. But spending the majority of your savings on a wedding? I'm with you. A party -- and that's what a wedding reception is -- comes to an end within a few hours, but you'll need to live in and pay for a home you purchase for a long time to come. You'll likely need that money.

(To ask Helaine a question, email her at askhelaine@gmail.com.)

(EDITORS: For editorial questions, please contact Sue Roush at sroush@amuniversal.com)

Dear Helaine: I'm 54 and divorced. I've been with the same company since 2004, and I also receive a small military pension. After taxes, I earn $4,900 a month, including the pension. I contribute to my employer's 401(k) and meet the employer match. In addition, I also save between $900 and $1,000 a month, and now have $32,000 in savings. I have no other debt besides my mortgage.

My question? I calculate that at my present rate of saving, I would be able to pay off my mortgage by the end of 2020. That's 8 1/2 years into a 30-year fixed mortgage. It would wipe out my savings, albeit without touching my 401(k). And I do have an aversion to paying interest. I also don't want to be paying a mortgage in my 60s. Is it foolish to use my entire savings to clear my mortgage?

My job is fairly secure, and I hope to remain with the company till retirement in 10 years. Even so, there is an undeniable appeal in not having a mortgage in case I am overly optimistic about my employment security. -- A Mortgage-Free Future

Dear Mortgage-Free Future: I totally understand where you are coming from. I'm not going to say you are right or wrong; each one of us has a different comfort level for mortgage debt and the interest owed on it.

What I would suggest is that you put this goal on a longer time line than a two-year period. Why? Simple: I don't think it would be a good idea to clean out your savings so you can achieve your goal of metaphorically burning your mortgage papers.

If something goes wrong -- say, your job isn't as secure as you think, or you suffer a health crisis -- you might face a situation where you need to turn to your retirement savings. That could leave you paying penalties, along with doing significant damage to your post-work finances. That's the opposite of the security you are hoping to achieve.

Real estate is an illiquid investment, and there is no guarantee you can sell the property when you need to for the amount you would like, or that a bank will give you a home equity line. On the other hand, the amount you have set aside is a nice emergency fund. I don't think you need to add to it.

I'd suggest taking the extra $1,000 a month and dividing it between increasing your retirement savings and paying down your mortgage. If you get a raise, you can put that money toward the mortgage, too. And keep up the good savings work!

(To ask Helaine a question, email her at askhelaine@gmail.com.)

(EDITORS: For editorial questions, please contact Sue Roush at sroush@amuniversal.com)

Dear Helaine: My husband's job requires he attend a number of conferences and workshops in his field. It's usually two to four times a year. Not going to these meetings is not an option, as it would certainly affect his merit reviews and, potentially, his employment.

His employer will not provide credit cards to purchase airline tickets in advance. They expect my husband to pay for any expense and then will reimburse him after he returns. My husband submits his request for reimbursement the first working day after his return. However, his employer can take six to 10 weeks to process the reimbursement. Inquiries seem to extend the time between the request and actual reimbursement.

My husband is currently waiting on reimbursement for two trips taken at his boss's request between six and eight weeks ago that rang up $2,789 on our card. Obviously, we can't pay off these credit card charges every month, so we're paying interest on these expenses. His employer says they aren't responsible. What can we do to reduce the impact of business travel expenses on our personal finances? -- Unhappy Travels

Dear Unhappy Travels: This is a tough question. Even in the states where the law requires employees be reimbursed for expenses like the ones your husband is racking up, there is no language in the statutes about what a reasonable time frame for repayment actually is. That being said, it is generally customary for companies to pay employee expenses, once they are submitted, within the next pay cycle or 30 days.

So where does this leave your spouse? First, can your husband ask if his company could make the arrangements, so he doesn't accrue expenses for the big-ticket items like flights, conference registration, hotels and the like? If they won't do that, in the short run, I'd suggest your husband attempt to minimize his expenses: buy tickets as far in advance as possible to save money on flights, stay at a lower-cost hotel and so on.

But I've got a bigger piece of advice: I think your husband might also consider starting a search for a new job. At the very least, this behavior demonstrates a lack of consideration for employees, and if these sorts of delays are common, it might also speak to bigger corporate financial problems.

(To ask Helaine a question, email her at askhelaine@gmail.com.)

(EDITORS: For editorial questions, please contact Sue Roush at sroush@amuniversal.com)