Dear Helaine: A few years ago, I began working with a financial adviser I initially liked, but whose judgment I am now questioning due to communication issues. When I email him to ask a question, I receive emails back from his assistants and colleagues, whom I don't know and haven't met with directly. I am not sure he is a fiduciary, and I'm not eager to ask outright because of these communication blunders.

Here's my question: I invested about $50,000 in mutual funds through his firm. I paid the firm a small amount to manage the money, and some small percentage was taken out of my fund when I signed up with them. I can't remember the details now.

Last fall, when we had our annual chat, the adviser recommended I sell half my mutual funds before 2018, and half in January 2018, and place the proceeds in a number of lower-cost index funds. Both funds are growing at a low annual rate. The last time I checked it was between 10 and 20 percent. Earlier this year, I was hit with a tax bill of around $5,000, and I am expecting a similar tax bill this year as well, so I am not eager to add to it by selling off these funds.

My "spider senses" are tingling. Should I look for a new adviser? Will I face another huge tax bill if I find another firm to manage the money? -- Scared to Ask

Dear Scared to Ask: You cannot work with a financial adviser who makes you so uncomfortable you don't feel able to ask something basic like if he has a legal duty to give advice that's in your best interests. I am saying this regardless of whether the adviser is a fiduciary. If you are made to feel like an afterthought when you need assistance, you are in the wrong place.

Now on to the specifics: Those funds sound ... just OK. The S&P 500 gained just under 12 percent in 2016 and a little more than 20 percent last year. I can tell you that over time, you'll almost certainly do better in index funds -- very few managed mutual funds manage to beat their benchmark indexes year after year.

As for the adviser, it does sound like he's attempting to be mindful of the tax bill. Not only will capital gains, if you sell, be paid off over two years, index funds generally throw off less in the way of taxable income than managed mutual funds, because there is a whole lot less buying and selling of stocks going on.

Finally, while one shouldn't make light of a tax bill, you shouldn't allow fear of it to be the sole guide of your investment strategy.

But you should have been told all this. Apparently, you were not, or at least not in a way you understood. While you are hunting for a new adviser, I suggest reaching out to the current one and asking about all this advice, if he is a fiduciary, how much he's charging you per year, and why he's delegated your account to others. The answers will help you evaluate the worth of his suggestions and give you valuable practice for how to engage with your next adviser.

(To ask Helaine a question, email her at askhelaine@gmail.com.)

(EDITORS: For editorial questions, please contact Sue Roush at sroush@amuniversal.com)

Dear Helaine: My boyfriend and I have lived together for three years. Since we aren't interested in having children, there's not a lot of distinction between how we live now and what living together would be like if we were married. Our relationship is pretty solid.

We live in a remote area where we both have decent-paying jobs that allow us to live comfortably. The problem is, I've reached the top of my career with my current job, making it a dead end. Because we live in a remote area, there are no better jobs to switch to. In order to move up with my current company, we would have to move. My boyfriend doesn't want to do that.

He suggested I freelance. I think I could do well, but I don't know that for sure. I also know I would make little to no money while starting up. He said he would "pay for things for a while," including rent, food and bills.

He's keen on me being happier than I am in my current job, and he also wants me to have more flexibility so I can travel with him more often. He earns significantly more than me, has more assets, and doesn't believe it would change his quality of life to foot more of the bills. But I see challenges.

What if he gets tired of paying for everything and thinks I'm not working hard enough? What if I want to buy something like a new jacket, and he resents me asking? What if he wants to go to dinner and I can't afford it? Does he pay? Do I not go? Is it a bad situation to be supported by someone I am not married to? -- Committed but Concerned

Dear Committed: It's easy to answer this letter in a flip way and point out this sort of dilemma is exactly why some people get married. But on second thought, that's not so flip.

Your boyfriend is asking you to make significant and risky financial changes, ones that will, at least in part, benefit him. At the same time, he's not offering to assume any of the long-term consequences should things ultimately not work between the two of you.

In a worst-case scenario, you could be left in a severely financially compromised position, with little in the way of legal recourse should either of you want to end your romantic partnership. It's not just that he could come to resent the financial pressure. What if you want out, but can't afford to leave?

A cohabitation agreement drawn up by a lawyer, outlining the support you are due should the relationship end -- whether you decide to ultimately marry, or simply continue living together -- would go a long way toward offering you the financial protection you need. But such an agreement won't cover everything. It won't, for starters, make the geographic and employment issues magically vanish. So there are a few questions I would ask you to contemplate before you make any decisions.

First, what do you want? Would you prefer to stay with your company and relocate, and taking this career risk is simply a way to keep your boyfriend happy? Or are you really tired of the grind? You don't say.

Second, where do you see this relationship, say, five years out? Only after you've answered those questions can you make some kind of decision about how to proceed.

(To ask Helaine a question, email her at askhelaine@gmail.com.)

(EDITORS: For editorial questions, please contact Sue Roush at sroush@amuniversal.com)

Dear Helaine: I'm a single woman in my 50s with no children, significant other or close relatives. I've never had life insurance, but I do own a condo and car.

I don't want a funeral, just a cremation and to have my ashes scattered. I've never bothered with a will because, frankly, I don't care what happens to my stuff after I die. What happens to my estate if I don't make a will? If I got hit by a bus today, there would be money left over after paying bills. -- Ashes to Ashes

Dear Ashes to Ashes: The word for dying without a will is "intestate." And while the "state" in that word does not refer to the United States, it does, coincidentally, offer a hint of what will happen to your assets after your death if you do not sign a valid will: How the proceeds of your estate will be distributed is determined by the laws of the state you live in.

In most cases, this means the money will be divided among your siblings, or, if they are no longer alive, their children. (I'm assuming, based on this note, your parents are deceased.) If you did not have any brothers or sisters, the sum would get divided among relatives on your mother's and father's sides of the family, either your aunts and uncles or, more likely, your first cousins. If those relatives don't exist, the state will keep the money.

In other words, the chances are good that relatives you either don't know well (if at all) or don't care for will inherit your assets. Lucky them! Is this what you really want to happen? I'm guessing the answer is no.

I bet you have friends, men and women in your life, whom you love and who love you back, people who will likely step in to help you in the unlikely event you become seriously ill in middle age. I'm also guessing there are causes in life you feel passionately about, either political or charitable. If you make a will, you can ensure these people and organizations receive your money. Most of us would find the latter outcome more satisfying.

It's also important to have a health care proxy in place, a document that names a trusted friend or relative to act in your stead to make sure your medical care wishes are carried out should you become incapacitated. You can do this in conjunction with a will.

(To ask Helaine a question, email her at askhelaine@gmail.com.)

(EDITORS: For editorial questions, please contact Sue Roush at sroush@amuniversal.com)