Dear Helaine: I'm a single woman in my 50s with no children, significant other or close relatives. I've never had life insurance, but I do own a condo and car.

I don't want a funeral, just a cremation and to have my ashes scattered. I've never bothered with a will because, frankly, I don't care what happens to my stuff after I die. What happens to my estate if I don't make a will? If I got hit by a bus today, there would be money left over after paying bills. -- Ashes to Ashes

Dear Ashes to Ashes: The word for dying without a will is "intestate." And while the "state" in that word does not refer to the United States, it does, coincidentally, offer a hint of what will happen to your assets after your death if you do not sign a valid will: How the proceeds of your estate will be distributed is determined by the laws of the state you live in.

In most cases, this means the money will be divided among your siblings, or, if they are no longer alive, their children. (I'm assuming, based on this note, your parents are deceased.) If you did not have any brothers or sisters, the sum would get divided among relatives on your mother's and father's sides of the family, either your aunts and uncles or, more likely, your first cousins. If those relatives don't exist, the state will keep the money.

In other words, the chances are good that relatives you either don't know well (if at all) or don't care for will inherit your assets. Lucky them! Is this what you really want to happen? I'm guessing the answer is no.

I bet you have friends, men and women in your life, whom you love and who love you back, people who will likely step in to help you in the unlikely event you become seriously ill in middle age. I'm also guessing there are causes in life you feel passionately about, either political or charitable. If you make a will, you can ensure these people and organizations receive your money. Most of us would find the latter outcome more satisfying.

It's also important to have a health care proxy in place, a document that names a trusted friend or relative to act in your stead to make sure your medical care wishes are carried out should you become incapacitated. You can do this in conjunction with a will.

(To ask Helaine a question, email her at askhelaine@gmail.com.)

(EDITORS: For editorial questions, please contact Sue Roush at sroush@amuniversal.com)

Dear Helaine: My husband's parents recently asked my husband if he and I would be able to take over their mortgage payments when my mother-in-law retires in just over a year. My father-in-law no longer works due to a disability.

The mortgage has 20 years remaining on it. While we could cover the monthly mortgage payments today, we are concerned that any number of issues could arise over the course of 20 years that would interfere with our ability to continue payments.

My husband and I are both approaching 40 with no debt, but our savings are not much more than emergency funds. I only recently paid off my student loans, and we are now planning to spend the next few years saving for a down payment for our first house. We live in a very expensive region, which is the place where we can most readily find work; my in-laws' home is in another region of the country entirely. We also plan to start building retirement savings.

My husband's parents have offered to leave the house to us instead of his two siblings, but it seems uncertain what kind of value we will ultimately realize from this outlay of cash, aside from the value of keeping my husband's parents in the house, which we'd both like to have happen, if possible. Is it unwise of us to be taking over the payments? Are there alternative options? -- Unsure

Dear Unsure: No, no, no. Do not do this.

I understand your in-laws' desire to remain in their home, but if they can't afford the payments, they should put it on the market and use the proceeds to relocate to a residence that's in their budget.

The number of things that could go wrong if you and your spouse take on the mortgage is stupendous. How would you guarantee they would leave the home to your husband? Would they make him a joint tenant with right of survivorship, or are you just relying on them to keep their word about the ultimate fate of the house?

Can your in-laws afford the upkeep, or will that ultimately fall to you as well? What happens to your in-laws if you or your spouse lose a job and you suddenly can't afford their mortgage? They will likely need to sell and sell fast. That won't be a good outcome, either, especially the older they get.

In addition, I don't think you and your husband can afford to take this on. You've all but said you have -- at best -- limited funds set aside for retirement. You both need to get working on that, and taking on this house in hopes of owning it one day doesn't qualify. You deserve to own a home of your own -- and I mean one that you can reside in, located in the city where you live.

(To ask Helaine a question, email her at askhelaine@gmail.com.)

(EDITORS: For editorial questions, please contact Sue Roush at sroush@amuniversal.com)

Dear Helaine: My husband refuses to make and stick to a family budget. He resents the idea of limiting himself, and his idea of budgeting every month is “we just need to spend less.” We both work full time at state jobs with mediocre salaries, have one of our two children in day care (which is like a mortgage payment), and basically live paycheck to paycheck with no cushion. I have $8,000 in credit card debt, and $25,000 in student loan debt. My husband has $8,000 in credit card debt, too.

We do not have an extravagant lifestyle, hobbies or other large money pits that can be eliminated. Our house is fully paid off. My husband pays the bills because his salary is slightly higher than mine, and every month I basically transfer over my whole check minus my student loan payment and a pittance toward the credit card. That leaves me no cash for personal expenses each month, and as a result, I charge more debt on the card. I know I need to stop using the card if I am ever to pay it off.

I recently came to the realization that if I am ever going to get out of personal debt, I will need to come up with a financial plan that only I will stick to and doesn’t depend on my husband’s participation. Short of divorcing my husband, how do I get my own finances in order so I can get myself out of debt without his cooperation? -- Fed Up

Dear Fed Up: It sounds to me like you are doing some first-class enabling here, as they say in recovery programs. By turning over so much of your paycheck to your husband that you cannot get by on a day-to-day basis without racking up more debt, you are, for all intents and purposes, granting him permission to carry out his less than financially healthy ways.

My advice? Work out how much money you need to get by on a monthly basis. Inform your spouse of that number. Then, the next time you transfer money over to your spouse, make sure you add that to the amount of funds you keep back. Over time, you will, if you remain disciplined, pay down your own debt, and improve your own personal finances. At the same time, you will be giving your husband a choice. He can continue on with his undisciplined spending patterns. Or, with less money at the ready, he can finally get a grip on his own spending. That would almost certainly entail working with you to come up with an approach to the family spending you can both agree on.

And one other thing: While child care expenses are not forever, other child-related bills will continue to pop up. It sounds like you and your spouse could stand to discuss whether one -- or both -- of you should attempt to find a more lucrative position with another employer. This will be a much easier conversation if you are in agreement on how to spend money going forward.

(To ask Helaine a question, email her at askhelaine@gmail.com.)