Dear Helaine: My husband's parents recently asked my husband if he and I would be able to take over their mortgage payments when my mother-in-law retires in just over a year. My father-in-law no longer works due to a disability.

The mortgage has 20 years remaining on it. While we could cover the monthly mortgage payments today, we are concerned that any number of issues could arise over the course of 20 years that would interfere with our ability to continue payments.

My husband and I are both approaching 40 with no debt, but our savings are not much more than emergency funds. I only recently paid off my student loans, and we are now planning to spend the next few years saving for a down payment for our first house. We live in a very expensive region, which is the place where we can most readily find work; my in-laws' home is in another region of the country entirely. We also plan to start building retirement savings.

My husband's parents have offered to leave the house to us instead of his two siblings, but it seems uncertain what kind of value we will ultimately realize from this outlay of cash, aside from the value of keeping my husband's parents in the house, which we'd both like to have happen, if possible. Is it unwise of us to be taking over the payments? Are there alternative options? -- Unsure

Dear Unsure: No, no, no. Do not do this.

I understand your in-laws' desire to remain in their home, but if they can't afford the payments, they should put it on the market and use the proceeds to relocate to a residence that's in their budget.

The number of things that could go wrong if you and your spouse take on the mortgage is stupendous. How would you guarantee they would leave the home to your husband? Would they make him a joint tenant with right of survivorship, or are you just relying on them to keep their word about the ultimate fate of the house?

Can your in-laws afford the upkeep, or will that ultimately fall to you as well? What happens to your in-laws if you or your spouse lose a job and you suddenly can't afford their mortgage? They will likely need to sell and sell fast. That won't be a good outcome, either, especially the older they get.

In addition, I don't think you and your husband can afford to take this on. You've all but said you have -- at best -- limited funds set aside for retirement. You both need to get working on that, and taking on this house in hopes of owning it one day doesn't qualify. You deserve to own a home of your own -- and I mean one that you can reside in, located in the city where you live.

(To ask Helaine a question, email her at askhelaine@gmail.com.)

(EDITORS: For editorial questions, please contact Sue Roush at sroush@amuniversal.com)

Dear Helaine: My husband refuses to make and stick to a family budget. He resents the idea of limiting himself, and his idea of budgeting every month is “we just need to spend less.” We both work full time at state jobs with mediocre salaries, have one of our two children in day care (which is like a mortgage payment), and basically live paycheck to paycheck with no cushion. I have $8,000 in credit card debt, and $25,000 in student loan debt. My husband has $8,000 in credit card debt, too.

We do not have an extravagant lifestyle, hobbies or other large money pits that can be eliminated. Our house is fully paid off. My husband pays the bills because his salary is slightly higher than mine, and every month I basically transfer over my whole check minus my student loan payment and a pittance toward the credit card. That leaves me no cash for personal expenses each month, and as a result, I charge more debt on the card. I know I need to stop using the card if I am ever to pay it off.

I recently came to the realization that if I am ever going to get out of personal debt, I will need to come up with a financial plan that only I will stick to and doesn’t depend on my husband’s participation. Short of divorcing my husband, how do I get my own finances in order so I can get myself out of debt without his cooperation? -- Fed Up

Dear Fed Up: It sounds to me like you are doing some first-class enabling here, as they say in recovery programs. By turning over so much of your paycheck to your husband that you cannot get by on a day-to-day basis without racking up more debt, you are, for all intents and purposes, granting him permission to carry out his less than financially healthy ways.

My advice? Work out how much money you need to get by on a monthly basis. Inform your spouse of that number. Then, the next time you transfer money over to your spouse, make sure you add that to the amount of funds you keep back. Over time, you will, if you remain disciplined, pay down your own debt, and improve your own personal finances. At the same time, you will be giving your husband a choice. He can continue on with his undisciplined spending patterns. Or, with less money at the ready, he can finally get a grip on his own spending. That would almost certainly entail working with you to come up with an approach to the family spending you can both agree on.

And one other thing: While child care expenses are not forever, other child-related bills will continue to pop up. It sounds like you and your spouse could stand to discuss whether one -- or both -- of you should attempt to find a more lucrative position with another employer. This will be a much easier conversation if you are in agreement on how to spend money going forward.

(To ask Helaine a question, email her at askhelaine@gmail.com.)

Dear Helaine: I’m 33 years old. After years of earning a modest salary, I moved to a new company two years ago and got a substantial pay bump. I spent the first year saving for a down payment on a house, and bought a small condo six months ago. I now have a four-month emergency fund, but only put 4 percent of my income in a retirement account. I’ve recently gotten another raise in the form of increased commission payments, and after adding some small luxuries, I now have an average of another $300 a month.

My problem is I can’t decide the most responsible use of the funds. Should I just put the extra money in my 401(k)? I’m also tempted to refinance my home from the current 30-year mortgage to a 15-year one. I spoke to my lender, and I would pay an extra $450 a month and save $100,000 over the life of the loan.

I am confident I could cut expenses to make the extra payments, but finances would be tighter. I do plan on staying in my home for at least the next 10 years, and I love the thought of possibly using it as a rental property once the loan is paid off, or selling for a very nice down payment. But I also know that my commission is never guaranteed, and if the economy takes a downturn, I could be saddled with a house payment that is difficult to afford.

One other thing -- I just started regular contributions to my retirement account in the past year, since I was paying off my student loan debt. So what makes the most sense? I am worried if I don’t make an investment decision soon, I will just squander the extra money every month. -- Good Problem but Very Torn

Dear Good Problem but Very Torn: As you noted, good fortune doesn’t always last. No matter how skilled you are at your job, commission income can ebb and flow. The reasons can range from economic dips to seasonal variations to headwinds that specifically impact your business. As a result, I would urge you to not make permanent commitments with your newfound money -- which means I don’t recommend refinancing your home to a 15-year loan. If doing it makes your finances tight when the going is good, I don’t think you want to deal with the financial consequences of a bad month.

Moreover, you’ve admitted you are behind on your retirement savings. In an ideal world, you should be putting between 10 and 15 percent of your salary aside for your post-work life, not a measly 4 percent, and you should have started doing so in your mid-20s, not your early 30s. The most valuable money you can put away for retirement is the money you can set aside in the early stages of your work life, because it has the most time to compound -- that is, grow over time.

So that’s my recommendation. Should you find your newfound commission income is less steady or regular than you think, it’s easy enough to reduce the amount you are setting aside for retirement. And congrats on all your success!

(To ask Helaine a question, email her at askhelaine@gmail.com.)