An eccentric philosophy professor gave a one-question final exam after a semester dealing with a broad array of topics. The class was already seated and ready to go when the professor picked up his chair, plopped it on top of his desk and wrote on the board: "Using everything we have learned this semester, prove that this chair does not exist."

Fingers flew, erasers erased, notebooks were filled in furious fashion. Some students wrote over 30 pages in one hour attempting to refute the existence of the chair. One member of the class, however, was finished in less than a minute.

A week later when the grades were posted, the rest of the group wondered how he could have gotten an "A" when he had barely written anything at all.

His answer consisted of two words: "What chair?"

I'll let you be the judge: Was this a smart-alecky, clueless student who was toying with his professor, or was he seeing through the futility of the exercise with a brilliant answer?

My assessment is that he understood the purpose of the professor's challenge: What you see is what you get, or is it? Can you judge a book by its cover? Can you believe your lying eyes?

"It is the obvious which is so difficult to see most of the time," wrote Isaac Asimov in "I, Robot." "People say 'It's as plain as the nose on your face.' But how much of the nose on your face can you see, unless someone holds a mirror up to you?"

I have no doubt that the chair existed. And I have no doubt that people can see things from a variety of perspectives. When you are in business, you need to remember that every day.

What you think is obvious, clear and easy to understand may be none of the above to a customer or co-worker. So many misunderstandings result from failing to see things through another's eyes. The only way to fix that is to understand that perceptions, no matter how seemingly flawed, are reality to those who hold them. Your job is to work with those thoughts.

Yes, that's a tall order. But ask any successful person how they have worked around a diversity of opinions, and you will likely discover that person has learned how to listen and apply what they hear.

Author and therapist Shannon L. Alder said: "Most misunderstandings in the world could be avoided if people would simply take the time to ask, 'What else could this mean?'"

Perspective dominates much of how we present ourselves and our products: Which attributes do we think will appeal to an audience? How do we perceive our customers? Will people see what we think they should see? Are we thinking broadly enough? Focus groups offer great perspectives on those questions and help shape the direction of ad campaigns and website design. Asking for another opinion is almost always a good idea. Pay attention, especially if you are trying to sell chairs and your customers ask, "What chair?"

One of my favorite explanations of perspective comes from English biologist and archaeologist Sir John Lubbock: "What we do see depends mainly on what we look for ... In the same field the farmer will notice the crop, the geologists the fossils, botanists the flowers, artists the coloring, sportsmen the cover for the game. Though we may all look at the same things, it does not all follow that we should see them."

How simple is that? At our MackayMitchell Envelope Company, customers may see an advertising opportunity, an eye-popping color, a novel shape or an efficient way to send a bill. They are all correct, of course, but we need to know what the customer is looking for and how best to convey their message. We offer suggestions, present options and listen to their specific needs so that we can satisfy their requests. We still sell more No. 10 white window envelopes than any other, but only because that's what our customers want.

I have a "kitchen cabinet" of advisers whom I consult on every imaginable topic. The only request I make of them is that they provide unfiltered, honest advice. I want to hear what I haven't seen for myself. Sometimes, I have to swallow my pride, but believe me, it's kept me from losing my shirt. And my chairs!

Mackay's Moral: Is the glass half-full or half-empty? Or is it just the wrong size?

A young prince, deposed when an enemy overran his kingdom, fled to a neighboring realm where a friend ruled as king. He hoped his friend would grant him a new kingdom. Instead, the king gave him 100 sheep.

Surprised and puzzled, the prince took his sheep out to a field. Soon a pack of wolves attacked and killed all the sheep.

The prince told his friend what had happened, and the king ordered that the prince be given 50 sheep. But again the wolves came, ravaging his flock. He returned to the king, and this time was given 25 sheep.

But now the prince thought to himself, "If I don't take care of these sheep, I won't get any more." So he built fences and hired guards. In a short time his herd grew to 500 sheep.

When he told his friend, the king ordered that the prince be given a nearby territory to rule.

"Why now?" the prince asked.

The king replied: "When you first came to me, you took leadership for granted. Today you understand that to lead wisely, you must take care of others. This is what I wanted you to learn."

Leadership is not about control. It's about taking care of and concentrating on your people. Get to know them as human beings who want respect from you.

Effective leaders demonstrate three traits that are especially important: compassion, authenticity and consistency.

Compassion is defined as "a sense of shared suffering, most often combined with a desire to alleviate the suffering of another and to show special kindness to them." The Golden Rule is clearly based on the concept of compassion.

When you show your people that they are more than drones who show up to get the job done, they will see you as more than just the paycheck dispenser. Let them know you understand they have lives beyond their working hours, and that you value their contribution to the success of the operation.

Leaders must learn to sacrifice for others. Take the example of the famous general Alexander the Great, who led his army across a desert. After 11 days out, he and all the soldiers were near death from thirst. A soldier came up to him and offered him a cup of precious water.

Alexander asked, "Is there enough there for 10,000 men?"

When the soldier shook his head no, Alexander poured the water out on the desert sands, refusing to take even a sip.

Authentic leaders are genuine and believable. They are trustworthy. Trust is central to leadership. People must be able to trust that their leaders are doing the right thing for them as well as for their customers.

Leaders need to be consistent. People should always know what is expected of them and how they will be treated. Consistency develops routines and builds momentum.

Managers and leaders must be consistent in their behavior and attitude. This sets a good example and eases concerns. Trust is built upon the foundation of consistency.

Leadership is so much more than just bossing people around. While almost everyone has a boss of some kind, the fortunate ones also have a good leader. Harry Gordon Selfridge, developer of one of the largest department stores in London, achieved success by being a leader rather than a boss. He said this of the two types of executives:

"The boss drives the people; the leader coaches them.

"The boss depends upon authority; the leader on goodwill.

"The boss says 'I'; the leader, 'We.'

"The boss fixes the blame for the breakdown; the leader fixes the breakdown.

"The boss knows how it is done; the leader shows how.

"The boss says 'Go'; the leader, 'Let's go.'"

General Dwight Eisenhower used a simple device to illustrate the art of leadership. Laying an ordinary piece of string on a table, he'd illustrate how you could easily pull it in any direction.

"However, try and push it," he cautioned, "and it won't go anywhere. It's just that way when it comes to leading people."

Eisenhower, who went on to become president, understood that you can't push people around. You must work with them and pull them along.

Mackay's Moral: Leadership is the only ship that doesn't pull into a safe port in a storm.

Once upon a time, two brothers who lived on farms separated by a creek fell into conflict. It began with a small misunderstanding, grew into a major difference and finally exploded into an exchange of bitter words followed by weeks of silence.

One morning there was a knock on the older brother’s door. The visitor was a man with a carpenter’s toolbox. “I’m looking for a few days’ work,” he said. “Perhaps you have a couple small jobs I could help with?”

“Yes,” said the brother. “I do have a job for you. Look across the creek at that farm. It belongs to my younger brother. I want you to build me a fence so I won’t need to see his place anymore.”

The carpenter nodded. “I think I understand the situation.”

The older brother helped the carpenter get the materials ready and then went off to town. When he returned, the carpenter had just finished his job. But there was no fence. It was a bridge -- a bridge that stretched from one side of the creek to the other. And his younger brother was walking over, his hand outstretched.

“You are quite a fellow to build this bridge after all I’ve said and done.”

The two brothers met in the middle, taking each other’s hand. Then the older brother turned to see the carpenter hoisting his toolbox onto his shoulder.

“No, wait!” the older brother called. “Stay a few days. I’ve a lot of other projects for you.”

The carpenter smiled. “No, thanks. I have many more bridges to build.”

People who make a habit of burning bridges often wake up one morning wondering where everyone went. Fortunately, this older brother now knew how to regain what he was looking for, even if he didn’t realize it at the time.

How many people have left positions at companies and said some negative things about their previous employer, only to have it come back to haunt them? It’s a small world out there. Chances are that you will encounter people you used to work for or with, so leaving on good terms can prevent ugly situations in the future.

You also run the risk of tarnishing your reputation. As I’ve said on many occasions, my father, Jack, always used to tell me, “You spend your whole lifetime building a good name and reputation, and one foolish act can destroy it.”

I have taken his words to heart, because there are few things more important than a good reputation. If you don't have a positive reputation, it will be difficult to be successful, because your reputation not only follows you -- it also precedes you.

The world is full of people who were at the top of their game when they made a fatal mistake, due to poor judgment, arrogance or the inability to do the right thing. Reputations are destroyed, and all the money in the world can't buy them back.

Repairing a reputation is considerably more difficult than keeping a good one.

The ability to forgive the other party also goes a long way toward maintaining bridges. Forgiveness is the key to healing all relationships. The experience of forgiving someone ultimately makes you stronger.

Perhaps the offending party doesn’t even realize the hurt they have caused, or even if they do, they feel it was justified. But holding grudges is a lot of work. Getting beyond grievances is a sign of maturity and a great example for others.

The daughter of a friend gave me some advice a few months ago on how to handle forgiveness. She suggested making a list of the grudges, anger and pain that weigh you down. Commit to releasing it once and for all. Take three deep breaths and ask for peace. Then burn the list. And smile. You’ve just lightened your load.

Bottom line, take the high road. Act like an adult. Keep your bitterness to yourself. Be gracious. The person you took for granted today may turn out to be the person you need tomorrow. So think twice before you burn any bridges.

Mackay’s Moral: A person who burns bridges better be a damn good swimmer.