life

Good Friends Make a Good Life

Harvey Mackay by by Harvey Mackay
by Harvey Mackay
Harvey Mackay | August 24th, 2020

A newlywed young man was sitting on the porch on a humid day, sipping iced tea with his father. As he talked about adult life, marriage, responsibilities and obligations, the father thoughtfully stirred the ice cubes in his glass and cast a clear, sober look at his son.

“Never forget your friends,” he advised. “They will become more important as you get older. Regardless of how much you love your family, you will always need friends. Remember to go out with them occasionally or keep in contact with them somehow.”

"What strange advice," thought the young man. "I just entered the married world. I am an adult, and surely my wife and the family that we will start will be everything I need to make sense of my life."

Yet, he followed his father’s advice, kept in touch with his old friends and made new friends along the way. Over the years, he became aware that his father knew what he was talking about.

Children grow up. When they become independent, they begin their own families. Grandchildren are a blessing, but we can’t expect them to be at our beck and call. And besides, your family will love you regardless of who you are or what you do.

Jobs/careers come and go. People can't do what they did physically when they were young. Parents pass on, but you persevere. Colleagues forget the favors you did. The race to achieve slows.

But true friends are always there, no matter how long or how many miles away they are. Love your parents, take care of your family, but keep a group of good friends.

My good friend Dale Brown, former LSU basketball coach, sent me this story, and it reminded me of a fascinating study by Harvard University that tracked the physical and emotional health of 700 people. They followed these people and tested them (e.g., blood samples, brain scans) for 75 years.

Here’s the primary conclusion: “The clearest message that we get from this 75-year study is this: Good relationships keep us happier and healthier. Period,” said Robert Waldinger, director of the Harvard Study of Adult Development.

The analysis showed a 50% increased likelihood of survival for participants with stronger social relationships.

“Social relationships, or the relative lack thereof, constitute a major risk factor for health -- rivaling the effect of well-established health risk factors such as cigarette smoking, blood pressure, blood lipids, obesity and physical activity,” stated the three authors of the study.

Good relationships will help you deal with life’s minor annoyances and your most challenging problems. Without good relationships, you’ll have a hard time finding customers, making a sale, securing a job, hiring the right employee and having great friends.

As I like to say, you must “Dig Your Well Before You’re Thirsty,” which coincidentally is the title of a networking book I wrote. Here is the most important line in that entire book: "If I had to name the single characteristic shared by all the truly successful people I’ve met over a lifetime, I’d say it is the ability to create and nurture a network of relationships."

You can take all my money! You can take all my factories! You can take all my land! But leave me my network of relationships, and I’ll be back to where I was today in three to five short years.

I am so convinced of that fact that I’ve worked constantly to build relationships. It has served me every day of my life in ways I could never have imagined. And I am honored to be my friends’ go-to guy when they need a favor, a reference or someone to lean on.

If you want one year of prosperity, you grow grain. If you want 10 years of prosperity, you grow trees. But if you want 100 years of prosperity, you grow relationships. With the coronavirus tipping the world upside down, one thing will remain constant -- the relationships we develop over a lifetime.

Relationships matter.

Mackay’s Moral: In my entire career, I have never once heard a successful person say he or she regretted putting time and energy into working on their relationships.

life

The ABCs of Risk-Taking

Harvey Mackay by by Harvey Mackay
by Harvey Mackay
Harvey Mackay | August 17th, 2020

One of the reasons we admire people who take risks is that most of us are scared stiff at the prospect of taking risks ourselves. “I could never do something like that,” we say. The “something” we could never do might be anything from starting a new career to learning how to cook something. It doesn’t matter. Sometimes, it seems that the only people who can take risks successfully are the people who have nothing to lose.

You’ve got to go out on a limb sometimes -- but not so far that you fall off. To help you in these perilous times, I’ve come up with my ABCs of risk-taking:

A is for apprehension. Taking a large or small risk comes with a degree of apprehension.

B is for bravery. Afraid to try something new? Most people are.

C is for challenging. Don’t be afraid to take calculated risks. If you win, you will be happy. If you lose, you will be wise.

D is for differentiator. Some risks can make or break your business.

E is for enterprising. Thinking outside the box to find the information you need or to get the project accomplished is one of the traits that I really admire in people.

F is for flexibility. Nearly all the successful people I know have dealt with defeat, slumps, failures, change and adversities of every nature. The reason they are successful despite all that is they had the confidence and courage to face those setbacks and find a way to overcome them.

G is for genius. Recognizing a genius idea is one of the traits that characterize serious risk-takers.

H is for healthy. Approach risk with a healthy skepticism, then assess the real hazards and benefits to reach a reasonable path to fulfillment.

I is for inherent. From taking your first step to investing your life savings in a new venture, nearly every activity we undertake in our lives involves taking risks.

J is for jealousy. Never take a risk out of jealousy for another’s accomplishments, because it will end in disaster. Instead, study their success and learn how they turned risk into success.

K is for knock it out of the park. You can’t hit a home run unless you take a swing at the ball.

L is for leap of faith. Every major decision requires a leap of faith. In the final analysis, what your inner voice tells you is the best advice you can get.

M is for mission. A clearly defined mission makes managing risk considerably easier. If you know where you want to go, you can anticipate some of the landmines along the way.

N is for nerve. Risk-taking often requires nerves of steel to face the inevitable challenges and failures involved with big risks.

O is for originality. Hanging around with creative people helps you understand different ways of looking at the world and stimulates your thought processes to more original ideas.

P is for possibilities. When you see what is possible, you are more inclined to take a risk that will pay off.

Q is for quit. Quit complaining, quit dragging your feet, quit talking yourself out of what could be a fabulous opportunity because you are afraid to take a risk.

R is for realistic. Taking risks can reap big rewards, but only if the venture is realistic.

S is for stepping out of your comfort zone. No risk, no success.

T is for turtles. A turtle only makes progress when it sticks its neck out.

U is for undaunted. Understand that failure will happen. There will be some pain and failure. It’s part of life.

V is for visionaries because risk-takers don’t see things as they really are. Visionaries exercise a lot more control over the outcome of events.

W is for willpower, which keeps people hammering away. Determined people possess the stamina and courage to pursue their ambitions despite criticism, ridicule or unfavorable circumstances.

X is for eXhilerating. Young people especially take risks for the thrill and as part of normal development.

Y is for yes, you can. When others say no you can’t, but you see a better way forward, ignore the nay-sayers and tell yourself yes, you can.

Z is for zinger. When you get a zinger of an idea, zero in on how you can make it happen. There’s no greater feeling in business than to know the risks you take are paying off.

Mackay’s Moral: Sometimes it’s risky not to take a risk.

life

Lessons From the Diamond

Harvey Mackay by by Harvey Mackay
by Harvey Mackay
Harvey Mackay | August 10th, 2020

I know it’s already August, but this summer my thoughts can finally turn to the crack of the bat as I watch my Minnesota Twins “Bomba Squad” launch dinger after dinger! As much as I love basketball and football, there’s a certain magic about the great national pastime.

For me, baseball is a learning experience, full of life lessons!

In one "Peanuts" cartoon, Charlie Brown is having a bad day. He strikes out for the third straight time. In disgust, he says, “Rats!”

Back in the dugout, he laments to Lucy, “I'll never be a big-league ballplayer. All my life, I've dreamed of playing in the big leagues, but I just know I'll never make it.”

Lucy responds, “You're thinking way too far ahead, Charlie Brown. What you need are more immediate goals.”

“Immediate goals?” asks Charlie.

“Yes,” says Lucy. “Start right now with this next inning. When you go out to pitch, see if you can walk out to the mound without falling down.”

Moral: Most importantly, goals need to be realistic: beyond your grasp but within your reach in the foreseeable future.

When it comes to getting things done, I have a philosophy: “Find a way, or make one.” I don't tolerate excuses, and you shouldn't either.

A high school baseball coach was frustrated with his first baseman, who made error after error. At practice, the coach grabbed a glove to show the player how it should be done. The first grounder took a bad hop and clobbered him in the chest. Next came a pop-up that he lost in the sun, and it smashed into his forehead. Later, a wild throw from the shortstop caused him to stretch, tearing his pants. Exasperated, the coach turned to his first baseman and shouted, “You've got this position so messed up, even I can't do a thing with it.”

Moral: The person who wants to do something finds a way; the person who doesn't finds an excuse.

We all have weaknesses, whether it’s baseball or business.

Baseball great Stan Musial was having a field day against the Chicago Cubs’ pitcher Bobo Newsom. Stan “the Man” first slammed a single, then a triple and a home run. When he came to bat for the fourth time, the Chicago manager decided to yank Bobo and take a chance on a rookie relief pitcher. The rookie trudged in from the bullpen, took the ball from Bobo, and asked, “Has this guy Musial got any weaknesses?”

“Yeah,” replied Bobo, “he can’t hit doubles.”

Moral: The greatest of all weaknesses is to be conscious of none.

Maintaining a good reputation can help you in bad circumstances by giving you the benefit of the doubt.

Rogers Hornsby, considered to be among the greatest right-handed hitters in baseball history, had a lifetime batting average of .358. In 1924, he hit .424 with the St. Louis Cardinals. He also had a reputation for excellence, good judgment and integrity.

The story goes that Hornsby came to bat one day against a flashy rookie pitcher with a blazing fastball.

Whoosh went the first pitch to Hornsby, who kept his bat cocked.

“Ball one,” said the umpire.

Second pitch and third pitches, same story.

Angry and frustrated, the young pitcher shouted at the umpire, “Those three pitches were all strikes!”

“Young man,” said the umpire, “when you throw a strike, Mr. Hornsby will let you know.”

Moral: You can't buy a good reputation; you must earn it.

Pittsburgh Pirate outfielder Paul Waner was asked when he would know when it was time to quit baseball.

“Well,” said Waner, “as you get older, you slow down and the infielders back up, because they've got more time to throw you out at first base. At the same time, you lose a little power, so the outfielders move in because you aren't hitting the ball so far.” Then he added, "When they can shake hands, you've had it."

Moral: A person doesn’t become old until regrets take the place of dreams.

Mackay’s Moral: No matter when the season begins, start business “spring training” so you can win the World Series.

(Harvey Mackay is the author of the New York Times best-seller "Swim With the Sharks Without Being Eaten Alive." He can be reached through his website, www.harveymackay.com, by emailing harvey@mackay.com or by writing him at MackayMitchell Envelope Co., 2100 Elm St. SE, Minneapolis, MN 55414.)

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