There is an Apache legend that the Creator gave human beings the ability to talk, run and see. But he was not satisfied until he also gave them the ability to laugh. Pleased with what he had done, the Creator said, “Now you are fit to live.”

With so much uncertainty in the world right now, one thing remains the same: Humor is a tremendous stress reliever and is more important than ever if we're to keep an optimistic outlook for the future. Besides, April is National Humor Month. I like to readjust my outlook by reading stories that have a message that stays with me. Here are some of my favorites.

At the end of a particularly frustrating practice one day, a football coach dismissed his players by yelling, “Now, all you idiots, go take a shower!” All but one player headed toward the locker room. The coach glared at him and asked why he was still there. “You told all the idiots to go, sir,” the player replied, “and there sure seems to be a lot of them. But I am not an idiot.”

And speaking of idiots, a minister, a Boy Scout and a computer executive were flying to a meeting in a small private plane. About halfway to their destination, the pilot came back and announced that the plane was going to crash and that there were only three parachutes for four people.

The pilot said, “I am going to use one of the parachutes because I have a wife and four small children,” and he jumped.

The computer executive said, “I should have one of the parachutes because I am the smartest man in the world and my company needs me,” and he jumped.

The minister turned to the Boy Scout and, smiling sadly, said, “You are young and I have lived a good, long life, so you take the last parachute and I'll go down with the plane.”

The Boy Scout said, “Relax, reverend, the smartest man in the world just strapped on my backpack and jumped out of the plane!”

While we’re on the subject of truly smart people, here are a couple goodies about two giants in American history, Henry Ford and George Washington Carver.

Ford, the founder of Ford Motor Co. who introduced mass manufacturing techniques to America, was asked at his 50th wedding anniversary about his secret to a good marriage. He replied, “The formula is the same as in car manufacturing. Stick to one model.”

Carver, the agricultural scientist and inventor who discovered more than 300 uses for the peanut and helped to save the South with his crop rotation plans, told this lesson on humility and humor. “When I was young, I asked God to tell me the mystery of the universe.

"But God answered, 'That knowledge is reserved for me alone.' So I said, 'Then, God, tell me the mystery of the peanut.'

"And God said, 'George, that’s more nearly your size.'”

Speaking of peanuts, they say elephants never forget. Ask the man who had gone to the circus as a small boy and didn’t make a return visit until years later. He was sitting in a cheap seat when an elephant came along, reached up into the stands, wrapped his trunk gently about the man and carried him over to deposit him gently in the best seat in the circus tent.

The man turned to his neighbor and said, “The elephant remembered that the last time I was here, years ago, I fed him peanuts.”

Just then the elephant came back, lifted his trunk, pointed it straight at the man and blew a stream of water in his face.

“Oh!” the man said. “I forgot I gave them to him in the bag.”

Now for one of my all-time favorites. A carpenter entered a doctor’s office. The receptionist asked him why he was there.

“I have shingles,” the carpenter replied. And so a nurse was summoned.

“Why are you here today?” she asked the carpenter.

“I have shingles,” was the answer.

She took his blood pressure, temperature, height and weight, and told him to change into a gown and wait for the doctor.

When the doctor came in, the carpenter told him again, “I have shingles.”

“Where?” the doctor asked.

Impatiently, the carpenter said, “Where do you think? Outside, in my truck.”

I hope these anecdotes have brightened your day. A good sense of humor is a lifeline to better days ahead.

Mackay’s Moral: Remember, tough times don’t last, but tough people do!

More and more people are working from home in the midst of the current national emergency. Between their computers and phones, an incredible amount of business is being conducted. These devices are keeping companies open for business.

I’ve always felt that the phone is one of the most awesome tools we have available, especially to salespeople. We’ve all had years and years of experience using a phone, so why are so many people bad at using it?

Here are a few tips I’d like to pass on to you with the help of Art Sobczak, president of Business By Phone. Art has helped sales professionals prospect and sell effectively by phone for more than 35 years.

The first objective of every sales call is to have a plan of what you want to accomplish. Prepare your questions and decide how you want to persuade a prospect into taking action. Art also advises you to have a “secondary objective for each sales call ... something you’ll strive to accomplish at minimum, every time.” It could be as simple as sending the prospective customer your literature.

Always treat the gatekeeper or call screener with respect. Ask for their name and use it. Gather as much information as you can about the gatekeeper as well as the decision maker. Knowledge does not become power until it is used.

Once you reach a decision-maker, it’s important to first ask if this is a good time to talk. Start the conversation with good news and also have a positive close. Focus on the prospect and listen to what they have to say. The goal is to pique their curiosity and interest. Art says, “You must answer, ‘What’s in it for me?’ for the listener, or they will immediately begin the getting-rid-of-you process.”

If people have questions, be prepared. Have the information handy or know where you can get it fast. Ask only one question at a time and avoid questions like, “Is everything going OK? What are your needs? Are you having any problems now? How is your service?”

Then quantify the problem whenever possible. “How does that happen? How much do you think that is costing you? How much time does that take?”

Art says: “Resist the tendency to present. Some reps get so excited when they hear the slightest hint of an opportunity that they turn on the spigot of benefits.”

When it’s finally time to get a commitment, think big and ask large. Buyers will often move down from a large recommendation, but they rarely move up from a small one. Remember to never ask for more than what is in the best interest of the customer. The important thing is to ask for a decision. “Maybe” is the worst answer a salesperson can get because a maybe can last forever.

There will always be objections, so be prepared for them and resist the tendency to be defensive. If you have an indecisive prospect, Art advises that you get their mind off the buying decision and on the problem or pain. For example, “Jan, let’s look at this another way. What would happen if you did nothing about the situation?” Price is one of the biggest objections, but don’t be too quick to offer price concessions.

Chances are you will be sending some information out to the prospective customer. Tell them what to look for and make it meaningful. Always summarize the agreed-to actions by both parties to avoid disagreements. Agreements prevent disagreements.

Keep your attitude up despite dealing with rejection. Rejection is a part of life. But you can’t let the fear of rejection paralyze you from the start or you’ll never get any sales. Don’t take rejection personally.

Art said: “Imagine every day is the end-of-quota-period day,” noting that sales reps tend to pick up their pace when they reach this time and try to get a few more sales.

Take pride in how to properly use the phone because few people in the world do it well. It’s difficult to persuade someone to take action and make a decision based almost solely on the words and ideas that come from your mouth.

Make that small marvel of electronics and convenience in your hand your best friend. Continuously work at improving your phone skills and watch your business improve. It may never replace face-to-face interaction, but a friendly voice makes for a great connection.

Mackay’s Moral: You can ring up more business when you dial up your phone skills.

There's an old saying: “Worrying won’t stop the bad stuff from happening; it just stops you from enjoying the good.”

Such wisdom! It’s advice I take to heart and try to remember when I’m facing a situation like we’re going through today with the coronavirus pandemic.

Worry is the most destructive habit. I’m as bad about worrying as anyone. I always think about what can go wrong with any project. Over the years, I’ve learned that worrying doesn’t give you anything but wrinkles; something else to worry about. Worry doesn’t do any good. I know; most of the things I worried about didn’t happen.

Worry is wasting today’s time to clutter up tomorrow’s opportunities with yesterday’s troubles.

Dr. Charles Mayo, one of the co-founders of the Mayo Clinic, said: “Worry affects circulation, the heart and the glands, the whole nervous system, and profoundly affects the heart. I have never known a man who died from overwork, but many who died from doubt.”

In my most recent book, “You Haven’t Hit Your Peak Yet!” I wrote a chapter on “The Second Ten Commandments.” The first of these new commandments reads: “Thou shall not worry, for worry is the most unproductive of all human activities. You can’t saw sawdust. A day of worry is more exhausting than a day of work. People get so busy worrying about yesterday or tomorrow, they forget about today. And today is what you have to work with.”

For the first two months of this year I spent a lot of time in bookstores, in the middle of a promotion tour for my book. Browsing the shelves, I found plenty of self-help books. Some of the most popular books I saw were about worry, stress and simplifying your life.

Dale Carnegie's “How to Stop Worrying and Start Living” has been one of my favorite books for the last 50 years. It was first published in 1948, but the advice it contains is just as fresh and valuable as it was then and is right-on for these uncertain times. Two sections that really knocked my socks off were about businesspeople trying to solve problems without the added burden of worrying. Carnegie credits Willis H. Carrier (whose name appears on many of our air conditioners) with these silver bullets:

1. Analyze the situation honestly and figure out what is the worst possible thing that could happen.

2. Prepare yourself mentally to accept the worst, if necessary.

3. Then calmly try to improve upon the worst, which you have already agreed mentally to accept.

Also from Carnegie's book, this particular list describes how to “Break the Worry Habit Before It Breaks You”:

-- Keep busy.

-- Don’t fuss about trifles.

-- Cooperate with the inevitable.

-- Decide just how much anxiety a thing may be worth and refuse to give it more.

-- Don’t worry about the past.

I love this story of a little clock that almost worried itself to death. It worked itself into a frazzle thinking about how often it would have to tick in the coming year.

“I’ll have to tick two times per second, which means 120 times a minute, 7,200 times every hour and 172,800 every day!” Then it went further -- 1,209,600 every week, and a whopping 63 million times, give or take, over the next 12 months! The more it thought about that number, the more worried it became. Finally, anxiety overtook the little clock and it stopped ticking.

And it was miserable. So it consulted a psychiatrist. “I just don’t have what it takes to tick that often,” it complained.

The doctor asked, “How many ticks must you tick at one time?” The clock replied, “Just one.” The doctor suggested, “How about using your energy to just tick one tick at a time, and I think you’ll be just fine.”

So the little clock wound itself up, decided to take one tick at a time and ticked happily ever after. Taking life one tick at a time, instead of worrying about what will happen down the road, will buy you time that you would have wasted with untimely fears.

Mackay’s Moral: Worry pulls tomorrow’s cloud over today’s sunshine.