There are few times in life when you are totally alone -- like just before you make a five-minute speech. Or if you doubt the concept of eternity, try and make a five-minute speech.

Let’s start with my basic premise: Everyone is a salesperson whether they want to admit it or not. Why? Because from the time you get up in the morning until the time you go to bed at night, you are continually communicating, negotiating, persuading, influencing and selling ideas.

When you can get up on your feet and talk extemporaneously on a variety of subjects, this instills confidence, develops poise and breeds conviction. You become more convincing in your meetings and your encounters.

Also, you become a better leader, manager and salesperson.

The best-kept secret in the world is Toastmasters International, which started in 1924 and today has 357,000 members in 143 countries and more than 16,600 member clubs. I am a proud graduate. Toastmasters changed my life. And it can change your life too.

Another organization that can dramatically change your life is Dale Carnegie Training, which boasts a century of proven success in professional training and development solutions. I am also a graduate of Dale Carnegie.

The three most important keys on giving a good speech are: Room size, room size and room size. You want the excitement and chemistry of a standing-room-only, bumper-to-bumper crowd. Extra space is a killer. Avoid it at all costs. Where possible, try to avoid high ceilings.

Have the first row set very close to the stage. Too much space between the speaker and the first row can destroy chemistry with the audience.

Studies show people remember more and laugh more in brightness. Turn the lights up full blast, unless you are showing slides/overheads.

Practice, practice, practice. Know your stuff. Don’t ever give another speech without it being entertaining as well as educational.

Outside noise from the adjoining rooms and hallways is the No. 1 killer of meetings. In fact, if another event is being held in the rooms adjacent to my talk, I will make every effort to book another venue. If you can’t hear a pin drop, you’re in the wrong room. A quick phone call to the catering manager will ensure total quiet.

Never, never, never end your program with a question- and-answer session. You cannot control the agenda or the quality of the questions. Start the Q & A five minutes before the end of your talk, then end with a good story.

Find out who the group's last three to five speakers were and how they were accepted. Ask why they were successful or why they failed.

Always request that a technician be in the room during your entire talk in case of microphone problems.

Contact the Chamber of Commerce of any city you are to speak in. They will give you loads of information to familiarize you with the local surroundings and help you personalize your remarks. Above all, you must know your audience.

Never mispronounce a person’s name. If you're not sure, check with the sponsor. Then double-check.

Stick to your allotted time and don’t exceed it.

If you don't have a smashing "opener" and "closer," go back to the drawing board. And, don't step up to the microphone until you do.

And finally, debrief yourself within 24 hours of a speech, and take 10 minutes to write down what you could do better the next time. Try something new every time you speak, and you'll never become stale.

I estimate I’ve given well over 2,000 speeches and presentations over the years. I will confess, I still get butterflies before I speak. When those butterflies flit away, I will know it’s time to walk away from the podium. Because I am quite convinced that if I get too comfortable, my audience will too -- just before they fall asleep!

Mackay’s Moral: The best way to make a speech is to have a good beginning and a good ending -- and to keep them close together.

(Harvey Mackay is the author of the New York Times best-seller "Swim With the Sharks Without Being Eaten Alive." He can be reached through his website, www.harveymackay.com, by emailing harvey@mackay.com or by writing him at MackayMitchell Envelope Co., 2100 Elm St. SE, Minneapolis, MN 55414.)

If you’ve read anything I have written over the years, you’ve probably figured out that I love stories that put management principles into action, even when they don’t seem to have anything to do with business. My thought is that they are much more memorable than classroom exercises, and certainly a lot more entertaining. Here are a few of my recent favorites.

The greedy wolf: On a hot day, a wolf was feeling very hungry. He searched the forest, but he caught only a small hare. Disappointed, he thought, “This hare can’t fill my stomach.”

Just as the wolf was about to kill the hare, a deer ran by. The greedy wolf thought, “Instead of this small hare, let me eat that big deer.”

He released the hare and chased the deer. But the deer was too fast, and it vanished into the forest. The wolf now regretted letting the hare go.

Moral: Consider keeping what’s in your hand before chasing something better.

The same problems: People in a village had been complaining about the same problems to a wise man many times. One day he told them a joke, and everyone roared in laughter. After a couple of minutes, he told them the same joke and only a few of them smiled.

When he told the same joke for the third time, no one laughed anymore.

The wise man smiled and said: “You can’t laugh at the same joke over and over. So why are you always crying about the same problem?”

Moral: Don’t keep worrying about the same problems. Either solve them or move on.

The boulder in the road: A king had a boulder placed on a roadway, then hid and watched to see if anyone would move the boulder out of the way.

Some of the kingdom’s wealthiest merchants and courtiers came by and simply walked around it. Many of them loudly blamed the king for not keeping the roads clear.

Then a peasant came along pushing a cart of vegetables. As he approached the boulder, the peasant set his cart aside and tried to push the stone out of the road. After much pushing and straining, he finally succeeded.

Then he noticed a purse lying in the road where the boulder had been. The purse contained many gold coins and a note from the king, explaining that the gold was for the person who removed the boulder from the roadway.

Moral: Every obstacle we come across in life gives us an opportunity to improve our circumstances.

Checking in: How am I doing? On the bus, an older man happened to overhear a young woman talking on her cellphone. “Hello, could I speak to your sales director please? Yes, I’m calling about the sales position you advertised three months ago? Is that still open? No? Well, is there any chance of it opening up again soon? May I ask why not? Really, that good? Well, thank you.”

The man turned and said, “I don’t usually listen to other people’s phone conversations, but I happened to overhear yours. I’m sorry the job you’re trying to get isn’t available anymore.”

“Oh, that’s not it at all,” the young woman said with a smile. “That’s where I just started working three months ago. I was just calling to see how they think I’m doing. The sales director said his newest salesperson is doing a fantastic job, so I must be doing all right.”

Moral: Don’t take your success for granted.

Lessons from the duck: How big is a duck? Oh, about two feet long, maybe. Have you ever seen a duck move through water on a lake? You don't see its feet paddling under water, but let me tell you, the duck really moves.

For me, what was impressive was to look at the wake the duck left behind as it moved forward. WOW! It opened up an angle of at least 40 degrees and the water rippled as far as 40 to 50 feet, maybe even more. That's a lot. Think about it, that duck left a wake that's 600 times its actual size. That's a lot of effect from a duck that's only two feet long.

Moral: Every big wave started out as a little ripple.

Life and business teach us lessons every day. Be on the lookout -- sometimes the best ideas and solutions are right in front of us.

Mackay’s Moral: Always keep your eyes -- and your mind -- open.

During this season of Thanksgiving, I’m going to take a detour from business advice and focus instead on gratitude. I am immensely grateful for the opportunity to get to know a remarkable woman whose life lessons are an example for all.

I recently attended a service at Temple Israel in Minneapolis, at which a friend pointed out an elderly woman and said I should meet her. I was astounded to learn she was 109 years old.

I often seek out older people to ask them their secrets to living and how they’ve persevered. So I visited Ruth Knelman at her apartment and was amazed to learn she lives alone and does all her own cooking.

Ruth is chockfull of life lessons. She is affectionately called Grandma Ruth by all the children she reads to at Temple Israel. Every Friday for the last 30 years, she reads to seven classes of youngsters, ages 18 months to pre-kindergarten.

She is a strong believer in reading. She always read to her son and her grandsons because it makes you use your brain, builds self-esteem, improves creativity, increases your vocabulary and makes you smarter. She reads the Minneapolis Star Tribune from cover-to-cover, including the sports section.

Grandma Ruth has volunteered for 30-plus years at Jefferson Community School and many other organizations over her lifetime. Why volunteer so much? She said she always wanted to do good. “You have to do something good for your community.”

People who volunteer and help others have a healthier outlook on life. They are more inclined to be go-getters and consistently report being happier. Ruth is the poster child for happy.

Through volunteering she met many great friends, so she understands the importance of networking and friendship. She is so thankful and grateful for all her friends, and she tries to never take advantage of them.

“Friends have to be tolerant and patient,” she said. “Your best friend can hurt your feelings. You never forget this, but you forgive. If you took offense at things, you wouldn’t have any friends. No one is perfect.”

Ruth added: “Life can’t be all good. You have to have ups and downs. You always have more ups than downs.”

She thinks a big problem today for people is stress. She sees it every day when she watches people drive. She volunteered at a hospital for many years and remembers a man who had a nervous breakdown because he hated his job and his boss. If you aren’t happy, her advice is to find something else. Life is too short.

I asked Ruth what she would say to a college graduate: “You have to like people, be nice and be patient.” She also knows the importance of a good reputation and how one thoughtless act can destroy a lifetime of good work.

Ruth is often asked for advice, to which she responds: “Don’t be afraid to say you don’t know. You can’t know everything.”

Ruth has a fantastic memory. She always has people repeat their names when she meets them because when she hears a name twice, she remembers it better.

She keeps her mind sharp by playing bridge every week. She’s been playing that card game for 94 years, starting at age 15. Ruth also plays gin rummy, and I learned there is a little money involved too.

I couldn’t resist asking about her secret to living this long. She said, “I’ve done everything wrong.” She stays up late at night and gets up early. She eats late in the day. When she wakes up in the middle of the night, she drinks coffee and watches TV. She doesn’t drink water and prefers club soda. She takes only one pill.

She also is not a big fan of exercise. She said the people who exercise regularly have to have their hips and knees replaced. Her exercise is walking.

How does Ruth want to be remembered? She is so thankful for all the people who were so kind to her: “You have to like people. You can’t get bored. I always have something to do.”

While I was visiting with Ruth, the phone rang at least five times. It was like Grand Central Station. Then as I was leaving, we were greeted by another friend who was coming to visit her.

As I got ready to leave, Ruth had one request: “Can I give you a hug? You never know when it might be your last hug.”

Mackay’s Moral: Don’t count the years; make the years count.