A lovely little girl was holding two apples in her hands. Her mom came in and softly asked her little daughter with a smile: My sweetie, could you share one of your apples with Mommy?"

The girl looked up at her mom for a few seconds, and then suddenly took a quick bite of one apple, and then a bite of the other. Her mom froze and tried hard not to reveal her disappointment. Had she raised such a selfish child?

Then the little girl handed one of her bitten apples to her mom, and said: “Mommy, here you are. This is the sweetest one.”

No matter who you are, how experienced you are and how knowledgeable you think you are, always delay judgment. Give others the privilege to explain themselves. What you see may not be the reality. Never conclude for others. Perception can be misleading.

If what you see is what you get, make sure that what you see is the whole picture, not just a small slice of it. And if you can’t see the forest for the trees, just imagine what you are missing.

Our preconceptions can dramatically alter the way we perceive the world. There is a saying attributed to the writer Anais Nin that reflects this idea: “We don’t see things as they are; we see them as we are.”

I think that is pure genius. Our own experiences and education can cause us to see events through a very different lens from the person sitting next to us, even though we are watching the same event.

Prime example: eyewitness testimony in criminal cases. Time and again, conflicting stories surface from bystanders who have no reason to lie. What they saw was simply not the same thing as the next person’s observations. It’s a constant challenge for law enforcement, trial lawyers and judges.

The Roman poet Phaedrus said: “Things are not always what they seem; the first appearance deceives many; the intelligence of a few perceives what has been carefully hidden.”

I have another way of saying this in my speeches: Things are not necessarily as we perceive them to be. I often share the story of the man and his son who are in a car accident and are badly injured. The younger man needs emergency surgery. But at the hospital, the surgeon says, “I cannot operate on this person. He is my son.” But wait, wasn’t the father injured too?

You would be amazed at how many people, in this day and age, have not figured out that the surgeon is in fact the boy's mother. When I first started using this example some years back, almost no one made the connection. Now it’s probably 50-50. Perceptions change, but not always as quickly as reality.

One of my favorite characters in literature is Sherlock Holmes. His conclusions are based on an extremely well-developed sense of perception. Consider this example, which is certainly not from the canonical texts:

Holmes and Dr. Watson decide to go on a camping trip. After dinner and a bottle of wine, they bed down for the night and go to sleep.

A while later, Holmes wakes up and notices something remarkable. He nudges his tent mate and inquires, “Watson, tell me what you see.”

A sleepy Watson mumbles, “I see millions of stars.”

Holmes asks, “And what does that tell you?”

Watson rubs his eyes and thinks about what Holmes is asking. After a minute, he replies, “Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, I suspect we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you, Holmes?”

Holmes responds, “It tells me that someone has stolen our tent!”

Mackay’s Moral: First impressions are important. But lasting impressions are more important.

An executive was having difficulty with her assistant, so she decided to confront her.

“Nancy,” she began, “you don’t seem to be into your work. The letters you type are full of errors, rarely do you get to work on time, and why don’t you ever answer the phone?”

“The answer to the last part is easy,” the assistant responded. “I quit answering the phone because nine times out of 10, it’s for you!”

Now there is an employee who is probably not going to get very far!

Whether you are starting out in your career or just want to improve, you need to earn the trust of your bosses and co-workers.

No matter how much workplaces have changed over the years, there are still some basic guidelines to follow that will help you stand out. These are some of the most important lessons I can offer.

-- Arrive on time consistently. Yes, sometimes the traffic is bad or mass transit runs late. Train yourself to arrive at work within a specific window so people don’t have to guess when you’re coming in -- or whether you’re coming in at all.

-- Dress appropriately. Take note of how your co-workers dress, and follow their lead. You don’t want to be too formal, but sloppy clothes and poor personal hygiene can mark you as unserious or unprofessional.

-- Introduce yourself effectively. Practice a quick introduction -- no more than 30 seconds -- so you can make a good first impression on the people you meet. Remember to look people in the eye and give them a nice, warm handshake.

-- Remember names. Make an effort to keep people’s names in your mind. You’ll impress them and show that you’re paying attention. The best way is to repeat their names a few times when you first meet to lock the name in your head, or write it down at your first opportunity.

-- Stay organized. If you’re scrambling to find things on your desk or are always late for meetings, you’ll look scatter-brained and undependable. Set up a system for tracking information and managing your time so you’re always on top of things.

-- Use email professionally. Keep in mind that your email at work belongs to your employer, not to you. Write every email as if it might be read aloud in court. You don’t want a flippant remark or a bad joke coming back to haunt you.

-- Share the credit generously. Collaborate with your co-workers as much as possible, and let your boss and other people know they’ve helped you. No one wants to work with someone who hogs all the accolades, but people are happy to cooperate with a co-worker who’s generous with the credit for a job well done.

-- Talk to your boss. Make time to check in with your manager when you don’t have a problem to report or a question to ask. Don’t monopolize their time, but make contact to offer a suggestion about a project or ask for feedback. Let the boss know you are interested and eager.

-- Volunteer. Don’t wait for your manager to ask you about joining a committee or task force. Jump at the opportunity to be in contact with colleagues outside your department and build your image throughout the organization.

-- Go above and beyond. If you really want to impress people, accept responsibility that others might have backed away from or didn’t want. Never pass up an opportunity to show your willingness to learn and work hard. There will always be a place for the person who says, “I’ll take care of it” and then does, in fact, take care of it.

-- Don’t give up. Stick with your projects and get them finished, preferably on time. Show your managers that they can rely on you to keep your commitments.

-- Network. Get to know the most talented people in your organization regardless of their titles. Don’t ask them for help -- rather, offer to help them when you can. This builds positive relationships and earns you a reputation as someone who puts the organization’s objectives first.

-- Keep learning. I’m an advocate for lifelong learning, and I strongly encourage people to keep their brains fresh by learning both on and off the job. Be curious. Delve into subjects that will make you a more valuable employee.

Someone once asked Michelangelo at age 88 when he was going to retire. He answered, “Whenever I stop learning.”

These are habits you will use for life, no matter what job or title you hold. Good workplace etiquette will never go out of style.

Mackay’s Moral: Put your best foot forward to get a leg up in business.

The minister was preoccupied with thoughts of how he was going to ask his congregation to come up with more money than they were expecting for repairs to the church building. On top of it all, he was annoyed to find that the regular organist was sick and a substitute had been brought in at the last minute. The substitute wanted to know what to play.

“Here’s a copy of the service,” said the minister, “but you’ll have to think of something to play after I make the announcement about the finances.”

At the end of the service, the minister paused and said, “Brothers and sisters, we are in great difficulty. The roof repairs cost twice as much as we expected. Any of you who can pledge $100 or more, please stand up.”

At that moment, the substitute organist played “The Star-Spangled Banner.” And that is how the substitute became the regular organist.

The ability to think on your feet like this organist and react to events without prior thought or planning is a critical life skill. Some of the best training I received on this was when my father encouraged me to join Toastmasters International many moons ago. You have to get up on your feet at a moment’s notice and talk about a subject for several minutes.

In business, you never know when you might be called on to lead a discussion or team meeting, respond to an inquiry, solve a problem, present a proposal or sell an idea.

The key to thinking on your feet is confidence. You can’t worry about what others think of you or how they perceive you.

Prepare for every meeting. What are commonly asked questions? Rehearse for situations. Think of the Boy Scout motto: Be prepared. You need to have working knowledge of the subject. Practice for what you think might happen.

Listen and pay attention to what is being said. Seek clarification if you don’t understand. One of the ways I do this is by repeating the question. This helps me make sure I understand the question, and it also buys me more time to prepare my response. It doesn’t hurt to say you need a moment to think about how to answer that great question.

Don’t be uncomfortable with a brief period of silence; rather use it to your advantage. It will convey that you are thinking and preparing a proper answer. Too many people rush to get their words out. Slow things down by pausing to collect your thoughts.

Another technique I like to use is storytelling. I often use humorous stories to drive home points. When I speak to corporate audiences, I divide my talks into lessons and wrap up each lesson with a humorous story. This engages people and captures their attention. Whether you have an audience of one or one thousand, storytelling can make a difference.

Get used to being put on the spot. You know it is going to happen, so do your best to anticipate what the other party is looking for. If you don’t know an answer, say so. Don’t add to the problem by making something up. You’ll look foolish.

If you are drawing a blank, turn the situation around. Ask if there is a desired outcome or response. It’s OK to ask, “Did you have something specific in mind?” or “What would be the best ending for this story?” Understand that the right answer may take some time to develop. And it’s not always the first or quick answer.

Finally, relax. This is especially hard when your heart is racing and you are feeling pressured. Calm down, take a deep breath, and resist the temptation to blurt out your first impulse just to get it over with. Chances are you will have a second opportunity to arrive at an acceptable reply.

A customer approached a stocker at a neighborhood grocery store and asked if he could buy half a head of lettuce. No, the stocker said, they were sold whole.

But the customer persisted, pestering the stocker to talk to the manager. The employee walked into the back room and said, "There's some jerk out there who wants to buy only a half a head of lettuce."

The stocker turned around to find the man standing right behind him. He quickly added, "and this gentleman wants to buy the other half ...”

Mackay’s Moral: The ability to think on your feet can prevent you from falling on your face.