life

Purpose Is a Force That Gives Life Meaning

Harvey Mackay by by Harvey Mackay
by Harvey Mackay
Harvey Mackay | December 17th, 2018

The neighborhood kids had congregated in the front yard when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting on the front seat was a Dalmatian dog. The children started discussing the dog’s duties.

“They use him to keep the crowds back when they go to a fire,” said a 5-year-old girl.

“No,” said another, “they carry him for good luck.”

The third, a boy about 6, brought the argument to an abrupt end when he said, “They use the dog to find the fire hydrant.”

Everyone has a purpose in life.

Finding that purpose is among life’s biggest challenges. Discovering what is important to you, what you are passionate about, where you can make a difference -- those are the factors that drive your purpose.

No matter how much money you make or how famous you become, living without a purpose takes the joy out of life. When the most important part of your existence is missing, the quest for material success becomes hollow.

My friend Brandon Steiner, who runs Steiner Sports, one of the country’s largest sports memorabilia companies, has written a book, “Living on Purpose,” that should be required reading for every young person starting out in a career. Brandon shares remarkable insights into how to win at the game of life when business success isn’t enough.

Brandon had worked hard his entire life and sold his company in 2000 for more money than he had ever dreamed of. But he wasn’t happy. He was emotionally bankrupt. His health deteriorated, as did his friendships. He had lost his purpose in life.

It took a few years, and with the help of some trusting friends, Brandon became a better husband and father, bought his company back and started getting more involved in charity work. He sought to leave a legacy.

In his book, Brandon details some of his journeys, such as learning about faith from New York Yankees great Mariano Rivera, getting tips on how to deal with fear from WNBA star Brittney Sykes, getting his “Jerry Maguire moment” with football star Otis Anderson and helping baseball great Alex Rodriguez, who sought redemption.

Not all of his stories are about sports stars, though. He talks about motivational guru Brendon Burchard teaching him about the qualities of extraordinary people: not being afraid to ask for help, collaborating with other talented, committed people and always measuring results.

John Gray, author of “Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus,” told him: “Don’t buy your wife a dozen roses. Buy her one rose a dozen times.” Daily touch points are better than occasional ones.

Brandon’s mother was his role model. She used to ask him, “How do you eat a big elephant?” And then she would answer, “One bite at a time.” That’s why Brandon set up “snackable goals” on the way to the finish line.

Brandon also delves into a topic I care greatly about -- relationships. He asks himself four key questions that help him take inventory of his relationships:

1. Do I trust you?

2. Do I really know you?

3. Do you understand me?

4. Are you what’s best for me?

“You want people in your life who are smart, kind, loyal and reliable,” Brandon writes. Above all, he looks for loyalty in people.

Brandon starts each day with an MVP list -- Most Valuable Priorities. This helps him keep his agenda in check. Just as important, he recommends that you make a “Not-To-Do List," filled with time-wasting or bad habits. This will save you a tremendous amount of time.

Discovering your own purpose starts with two basic questions:

-- What do you do best? Focus on what you do well in your professional life, but don’t ignore what you like to do. This is not an exercise in setting goals or plotting a career path.

-- What do you enjoy doing that helps other people? Getting outside of your own interests can lead to a more fulfilling life.

Combining these two elements is a good start to determining how to start living a life guided by purpose.

Without a purpose, we are like the man arrested for theft appearing before the judge.

Judge: “When do you work?”

Man: “Now and then.”

Judge: “What do you do for a living?”

Man: “This and that.”

Judge: “Where do you live?”

Man: “Here and there.”

Judge: “Young man, you are going to jail.”

Man: “When do I get out?”

Judge: “Sooner or later.”

Mackay’s Moral: The best life is one lived with purpose -- on purpose.

life

Coach's Tips on Leadership

Harvey Mackay by by Harvey Mackay
by Harvey Mackay
Harvey Mackay | December 10th, 2018

A new era began at the University of Minnesota when P.J. Fleck was hired as the head football coach. Since he landed in Minnesota less than two short years ago, he has already begun to energize the entire state. He is always up for a challenge and setting records, which he did on his high school and college football teams as a wide receiver. He was an undrafted free agent with the San Francisco 49ers until his playing days ended with injuries.

That’s when he hit the coaching profession with full force, leading one of the greatest turnarounds in college football history -- a 12-0 undefeated regular season at Western Michigan in 2016. He is one of the youngest and brightest minds in college football. His commitment to character development with his players is unparalleled!

I love his message on leadership and culture change. For example, he doesn’t believe that leaders should separate their personal and professional lives. He says, “As the leader, you are the walking, talking vision of whatever you say.”

He practices the three Ls of Leadership:

Look -- “Leaders have to look around every corner,” Fleck said. “Leaders should never be surprised. It’s not IF something will happen, it’s WHEN it will happen. Leaders must look for everyone else.”

Listen -- Listening is crucial for Fleck. He believes there is a big difference between communicating and connecting: “Leaders pull people along with them. They surround themselves with smart people and listen to them.”

Lift -- This is No. 1 for Fleck. Leaders must lift people up. “You can’t just tell people to do things and put your fist down,” he says. “There are times to be demanding, but if you do it too much, all you do is wear people out. Getting to know how your people are motivated and inspired is a true characteristic of an elite leader.”

Fleck lives by the never-give-up slogan “Row the boat.” There are three parts to it: the oar, the boat and the compass.

The oar is the energy you bring to your life. It’s what moves the boat. The oar is what you can control now.

The boat is the sacrifice. We all want something that we don’t have. What are you willing to give up to get what you want? The more you give and the more you serve, the bigger that boat gets, and the more people you can take on that trip.

The compass is the direction, which Fleck considers the most important part. Who you surround yourself with is who you become. If you surround yourself with bad people, you will do bad things. If you surround yourself with elite people, you will do elite things.

“When you row a boat, your back is to the future,” he says. “You can’t see what’s ahead of you. You row in the present. You can’t control the past, but you can learn from it.”

Fleck said he and his staff and players operate in a HYPRR culture, which stands for HOW, YOURS, PROCESS, RESULTS and RESPONSE.

The HOW is your people. If your company is struggling, either your people or your processes are screwed up, or both. Take a long time to hire, but fire quickly. The how is also your heart, spirit and will. How you do something matters more than what you do.

YOURS stands for your vision. Everyone should have a vision for their company and what their life should look like. Every person you hire should know that vision very clearly.

If your PROCESS is on target, you get the RESULTS you want. Leaders should never be surprised by the results. They should know what’s coming and how to fix it by looking, listening and lifting.

The RESPONSE is crucial. Watch your body language, because that’s the first way people respond. Your body language as a leader sets the tone in your organization.

“Love equals sacrifice,” Fleck says. "My players know that I am not here to be liked, but I am here to be loved. There is a big difference.”

Mackay’s Moral: Leaders find a way to get it done.

life

Easing Conflicts, on a Serious Tip

Harvey Mackay by by Harvey Mackay
by Harvey Mackay
Harvey Mackay | December 3rd, 2018

We all get angry at work sometimes.

Conflicts in the workplace can get out of hand when people stop listening to each other and instead concentrate on defending their positions. The late management guru Peter Drucker said, “The only things that evolve by themselves in an organization are disorder, friction and malperformance.”

In my opinion, the three are closely related. And most of those issues are caused by friction -- workplace conflicts. Serious office feuds can really hurt productivity. It’s hard to use a computer when you’re wearing boxing gloves.

But conflict in the workplace doesn’t have to turn into full-scale war. Smart managers don’t let their emotions get out of control. Smart employees also need to keep their tempers in check. Before exploding at an employee or co-worker, remember the following advice:

Listen to their story. You have to get problems out in the open before you can resolve them. Much of the time, an employee simply wants to be heard. Sit back and let the person speak. Employees will be more willing to listen to other points of view once they’ve had a chance to express their feelings. And if you realize you’re not saying anything constructive, stop talking. Let the other person continue until he or she realizes you’ve disengaged from the power struggle.

Pay attention to your behavior. What’s your tone of voice? What is your body language saying to the other person? Focusing on your reactions and emotions will help you stay calm. Try to discern whether the other person wants something from you that he or she isn’t asking for.

Identify the real problem. Often the stated reason for a disagreement masks a hidden issue. You might be upset when an employee misses a deadline, but the root cause of your anger may be a perceived lack of respect for you. Ask yourself and the other person (or people), “What’s really getting in the way of a solution here?” Find the real obstacle and you’ll be in a much better position to remove it.

Focus on the big picture. Disputes can be messy, with problems overlapping each other. Don’t get too involved in the details, but keep an eye on the overall impact of the problem. Once the main issues are on the table, trivial disagreements tend to disappear.

Don’t push too fast. Even when the solution is obvious, don’t suggest it too quickly. People need time to process their feelings about the situation. An employee may want the other person to understand how he or she feels. Solving the problem in five minutes won’t create a real sense of resolution. If possible, take some time to discuss options and think things over before offering advice or imposing a solution.

Take responsibility for communication. As a manager or employee, you have to clear the air -- even if the other person tries to let the problem drop. Insist on an open, honest dialogue that lets everyone express his or her needs and opinions honestly.

Stay positive. Take a deep breath and try to control the impulse that makes you fight back. Try to find something positive, if nothing else, just the fact that you’re gaining experience dealing with conflict.

Focus on the here and now. Don’t bring up problems or disagreements from the past. Stick to the present situation. Keep words like “always” and “never” out of the conversation -- such as “You’re always late to work” -- to avoid blowing the argument out of proportion.

Ask yourself, “Would I rather be right or happy?” In some cases, being right may be more important -- when dealing with safety issues, for instance. In other situations, you might be better off letting the other person “win.” Be gracious in any event.

As my mother used to say, you don’t have to like someone, but you have to get along.

Two managers didn’t like each other, and made it clear to everyone by finger-pointing and name calling. When problems arose, they took great pleasure in blaming the other’s department or decision-making rather than trying to solve the problem.

It got so bad that their boss called them both in for a meeting. The insults and blame game started before they had taken their seats. But the boss put an abrupt end to their squabbling.

She said, “Let’s just get one thing straight here. This is all my fault. I’m the one who hired both of you.”

Mackay’s Moral: Getting along goes a long way toward a productive workplace.

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