It is no secret that I love to play golf. And it’s no secret that I have conducted a lot of business on the golf course. Perhaps the worst-kept secret of all is that I have learned a lot during rounds of golf, particularly during a very memorable recent game.

My golf partner last week was the very delightful Harold Smith, who with his brother-in-law, Don Mains, co-owned a chain of 65 Tradehome Shoes stores throughout the Upper Midwest. He’s been retired for some time now, and plays golf whenever he can.

A friend suggested I invite him to join me for nine holes, and he happily accepted. On the first hole, Harold two-putted from 70 feet. On the second hole, he got down in two from off the green. I won’t bore you with the rest of the scorecard; suffice it to say, it was a great game that I will likely never forget.

Did I mention that he is 100 years old?

Harold expressed his gratitude for the invitation, because as he told me, all his friends have died. Our conversation exposed many commonalities: our alma mater (University of Minnesota), our love for sports and many friends in common. But I was particularly interested in his business philosophy, which we also share.

The Tradehome business model is rooted in customer service and employee recognition. Their business grew at a rate of two to three stores a year. They made sure stores were performing well before expanding further. They took their time to hire the best people for each store.

Each store had five to 10 employees who had the opportunity to work their way up. Store managers concentrated on promoting from within, never going outside to hire. In the small cities where they were located, the store managers got to know the local kids so that they knew whom to hire.

An employee profit-sharing plan was started in 1955. Some employees had as much as $800,000 in their plans when they retired. Harold said the plan was a great way to retain employees.

Customer service is a hallmark of Tradehome stores. No one likes to be ignored, he said, so he told employees to focus on everyone who walked into their stores within seconds. He and his brother-in-law worked hard to stay ahead of their customers, understanding that they needed to watch the trends on the coasts that would make it to the Midwest.

They considered themselves creative marketers, offering services such as polishing customers’ shoes when they walked into the stores. They offered a liberal return policy with no questions asked. They would exchange shoes purchased from a competitor, noting that people would forget where they bought them. That didn’t matter, they reasoned, because customers would come to their stores to buy because of their service and price.

When it was time to retire in 1999, they didn’t want to sell to a conglomerate that would fire many of the employees. Instead, they sold the company to nine key employees at a much lower price to make sure they wouldn’t have to lay off people. Loyalty to Smith and Mains was foremost.

But life wasn’t all business. Family, faith and sharing their wealth were also priorities.

Harold and his late wife, Mickey, loved to travel and were especially interested in visiting places of Jewish interest. They collected Jewish artifacts from all over the world, including antique Hebrew Bibles and Torahs.

Eventually, through a friend, they connected with the renowned Minneapolis Institute of Art. The director expressed interest in their collection and his desire to establish a Judaic gallery. He also explained the funding that it would require. That meeting led to the couple donating much of their collection and the funding to support the Harold and Mickey Smith Gallery of Jewish Art and Culture. The gallery is one of only two of its kind in the country.

We covered a lot of ground that day, and not just on the golf course. You could say the game was simply a delivery method for this wealth of information. And Harold saved his best gems of wisdom for last: his secrets for a long life!

-- Positive attitude toward life.

-- Have good genes.

-- Don’t abuse your body.

-- Always eat healthy.

-- Exercise often.

-- Get plenty of sleep ... don’t cheat on sleep.

-- Keep your mind active and stress down.

-- You have to be lucky.

Mackay’s Moral: When you have the chance to golf with a centenarian, the score isn’t as important as the lessons learned.

Pete walked into his boss’s office. “Ms. Smith, I’ll be straight with you. I know the economy isn’t great, but I have three companies after me, and I would like to respectfully ask for a raise.”

After a few minutes of haggling, Ms. Smith finally agreed to a 5 percent boost. When Pete got up to leave, she asked him, “By the way, which three companies are after you?”

“The electric company, the mortgage company and the phone company.”

We all have bills to pay. Our jobs are a good way to accomplish that. But if you feel like you aren’t receiving what you deserve, you have to muster up your courage and ask for a raise. That is a conversation you need to have with your supervisor, not your co-workers. They don’t make those decisions, and you will get a reputation for being the complainer.

Instead, prove you can perform the duties of your position and work your tail off making sure you’re the best hire your boss ever made. Then it’s time to ask for a raise. Here are some tips that will give you at least a fighting chance:

-- Pick your time carefully. When you asked your mom or dad for the car keys, did you hit them up when they walked in the door or wait until after they had dinner and were in a good mood? Timing is everything.

-- Be prepared. Almost everyone has an annual salary and/or performance review. But it’s amazing how few people prepare for it. Get your act together and present your case in an intelligent, well-organized manner.

-- Keep records. Keep a log of your accomplishments. Make notes in your daily calendar. That way, you won't forget anything, and you'll have the most reliable form of proof there is: written evidence.

-- Know the territory. One of the typical defenses against wage demands is, “You certainly deserve it, but we had a difficult year.” Is this true? If you work for a public company, check out the annual report. What are people at other companies getting paid for your job?

-- Ask for a specific number. This is the hardest one of all, because people are uncomfortable selling themselves. Put a number on the table, and make it realistic. Document overtime or special circumstances as evidence.

-- Don't threaten. Don't bluff. Don't be afraid to ask.

What happens if asking for a raise doesn’t work? Your short-term tactics may have failed, but your long-term strategy could still succeed. First, ask what it would take to get that raise next time. Other things that can help include:

1. Working longer hours, not shorter. Hours in new areas. Hours that give you more responsibility and greater challenges.

2. Training. You want the opportunity to improve your skills and learn new ones. Ask about the chance to attend a seminar or convention, or take some classes.

3. Hitting the mark. You want to know what requirements you must meet to hit your salary goals. Then ask for another salary review ahead of the normal schedule to chart your progress.

4. Career planning. Are your career goals realistic? Ask. Then also ask your boss for a long-term career path for you and a reasonable timetable for achieving it.

5. Making the move. Will management give you strong support in helping place you in another department where your salary requirements and career goals can be met?

The idea here is to get you ahead of the pack, away from the normal processes that the company follows to evaluate salaries. You want to be in the fast-track category. You’ve designed your own program.

Robert Herjavec from ABC's “Shark Tank” said: “You should never come out and say I deserve more money. Nobody cares what you deserve. It's about what you can do for the company. It's never I, I, I ... it's always what value you can add. Don't use the word I.”

Barbara Corcoran, also from “Shark Tank,” advises: “You've got to remember that asking for a raise is a sales job. It's how well-prepared you are, how you list your responsibilities. You should even have a category called ‘above and beyond’ on responsibilities and make sure the boss knows every little thing you're doing above and beyond. You know what -- you've got to sell! It's about selling.”

Mackay's Moral: If you want them to show you the money, you better show them the reason.

Baseball great Babe Ruth struck out 1,330 times over the 22 seasons he played.

“Every strike brings me closer to the next home run,” the Babe said.

And during those 22 seasons, he hit 714 home runs, a record that stood from 1935 until 1974, when Hank Aaron hit his 715th.

Babe Ruth’s attitude could have been defeatist instead -- after all, his mistakes were made in a most public way in front of fans who wanted nothing more than to watch him hit another homer. Instead, he went back to the dugout, refusing to lick his wounds, and prepared for his next at-bat.

That is what I call resilience.

Nearly all the successful people I know have dealt with defeat, slumps, failures, change and adversities of every nature. The reason they are successful in spite of all that is they had the confidence and courage to face those setbacks and find a way to overcome them. For some, it was pure stubbornness; for others, it was a refusal to admit defeat.

I’ve had my share of business challenges, which I have written about frequently. Bear with me while I refresh your memory: I have been in the envelope business for more than 50 years. Do people still use envelopes the same way or as often as they did in the 1960s? Not even close. That was before email, faxes, online bill pay, Facebook, Twitter and all forms of electronic communication. We could have easily closed our doors and given up.

Had we at MackayMitchell Envelope Company decided to live in the past, we would have defied our company motto: “To be in business forever.”

We needed to look at how businesses used our products in their changing environments. We had to retool machinery and retrain employees. We worked hard to introduce new lines of business and encourage our sales force to think of new ways to best serve our customers. It has been an ongoing process responding to every technological advance. Our only way forward was to be resilient enough to change with the times.

The only thing that never changes is change itself. Today, change comes faster than ever. To survive and thrive, the skill you need to master is resilience.

Susan Dunn, a clinical psychologist, has observed that people who can bounce back after failure and confront new obstacles without losing their nerve generally do these essential things:

-- Learn from experience. Resilient people reflect on what happens to them, good and bad, so they can move forward without illusion.

-- Accept setbacks and losses. You’ve got to face the reality of what has happened in order to get past it.

-- Recognize emotions. Resilient people don’t hide from their feelings. They identify what they’re feeling and express their emotions appropriately.

-- Keep time in perspective. Past, present and future are separate. Don’t mix them up by letting what’s in the past determine your choices in the here and now.

-- Think creatively and flexibly. Look for new ways to solve problems and face challenges.

-- Take care of yourself. Resilience is based on good physical and mental health. Get enough rest, eat sensibly and spend time with people who support you.

-- Ask for help. Resilient people don’t try to do everything themselves. Accept that you’ll need to ask others for assistance, and learn how to do so graciously and effectively.

I can’t think of any business that can’t adapt somehow. Kids who have never seen a manual typewriter are well-schooled on computer keyboards. Rotary telephones are relics, but how many of us are constantly connected to our smartphones, and can’t function without them? While Grandma looked forward to the iconic Sears catalog, online shopping provides a 24-hour marketplace. That’s how resilient businesses respond.

Former British Prime Minister Sir Winston Churchill was also a good example of resilience. He failed sixth grade. He was defeated in every election for public office until he was elected prime minister -- at age 62.

His best-known quote was also a rallying cry for resilience: “Never give in, never give in, never, never, never -- in nothing, great or small, large or petty – never give in except to convictions of honor and good sense. Never yield to force. Never yield to the apparently overwhelming might of the enemy.”

Mackay’s Moral: You don’t need a trampoline to be good at bouncing back.