life

The Brilliance of Resilience

Harvey Mackay by by Harvey Mackay
by Harvey Mackay
Harvey Mackay | September 10th, 2018

Baseball great Babe Ruth struck out 1,330 times over the 22 seasons he played.

“Every strike brings me closer to the next home run,” the Babe said.

And during those 22 seasons, he hit 714 home runs, a record that stood from 1935 until 1974, when Hank Aaron hit his 715th.

Babe Ruth’s attitude could have been defeatist instead -- after all, his mistakes were made in a most public way in front of fans who wanted nothing more than to watch him hit another homer. Instead, he went back to the dugout, refusing to lick his wounds, and prepared for his next at-bat.

That is what I call resilience.

Nearly all the successful people I know have dealt with defeat, slumps, failures, change and adversities of every nature. The reason they are successful in spite of all that is they had the confidence and courage to face those setbacks and find a way to overcome them. For some, it was pure stubbornness; for others, it was a refusal to admit defeat.

I’ve had my share of business challenges, which I have written about frequently. Bear with me while I refresh your memory: I have been in the envelope business for more than 50 years. Do people still use envelopes the same way or as often as they did in the 1960s? Not even close. That was before email, faxes, online bill pay, Facebook, Twitter and all forms of electronic communication. We could have easily closed our doors and given up.

Had we at MackayMitchell Envelope Company decided to live in the past, we would have defied our company motto: “To be in business forever.”

We needed to look at how businesses used our products in their changing environments. We had to retool machinery and retrain employees. We worked hard to introduce new lines of business and encourage our sales force to think of new ways to best serve our customers. It has been an ongoing process responding to every technological advance. Our only way forward was to be resilient enough to change with the times.

The only thing that never changes is change itself. Today, change comes faster than ever. To survive and thrive, the skill you need to master is resilience.

Susan Dunn, a clinical psychologist, has observed that people who can bounce back after failure and confront new obstacles without losing their nerve generally do these essential things:

-- Learn from experience. Resilient people reflect on what happens to them, good and bad, so they can move forward without illusion.

-- Accept setbacks and losses. You’ve got to face the reality of what has happened in order to get past it.

-- Recognize emotions. Resilient people don’t hide from their feelings. They identify what they’re feeling and express their emotions appropriately.

-- Keep time in perspective. Past, present and future are separate. Don’t mix them up by letting what’s in the past determine your choices in the here and now.

-- Think creatively and flexibly. Look for new ways to solve problems and face challenges.

-- Take care of yourself. Resilience is based on good physical and mental health. Get enough rest, eat sensibly and spend time with people who support you.

-- Ask for help. Resilient people don’t try to do everything themselves. Accept that you’ll need to ask others for assistance, and learn how to do so graciously and effectively.

I can’t think of any business that can’t adapt somehow. Kids who have never seen a manual typewriter are well-schooled on computer keyboards. Rotary telephones are relics, but how many of us are constantly connected to our smartphones, and can’t function without them? While Grandma looked forward to the iconic Sears catalog, online shopping provides a 24-hour marketplace. That’s how resilient businesses respond.

Former British Prime Minister Sir Winston Churchill was also a good example of resilience. He failed sixth grade. He was defeated in every election for public office until he was elected prime minister -- at age 62.

His best-known quote was also a rallying cry for resilience: “Never give in, never give in, never, never, never -- in nothing, great or small, large or petty – never give in except to convictions of honor and good sense. Never yield to force. Never yield to the apparently overwhelming might of the enemy.”

Mackay’s Moral: You don’t need a trampoline to be good at bouncing back.

life

How to Get Unstuck

Harvey Mackay by by Harvey Mackay
by Harvey Mackay
Harvey Mackay | September 3rd, 2018

Three men were in a pickup truck driving in the woods when they got stuck in the mud. The driver became angry and began to shout and curse. He pounded on the steering wheel and then sat fuming about their bad luck.

The second man climbed out of the truck and took refuge in the shade of a large tree. “I’m going to hang out here until someone comes along who can tow us out,” he said. He fumbled with his cellphone, getting more and more frustrated when he couldn’t get a signal to call for help.

The third man retrieved an ax and a saw and found a felled tree. He cut pieces to wedge under the tires so the truck could drive out of the mud.

We all get “stuck in the mud” at times as we travel down life’s road. Will you melt down, walk away and do nothing? Or will you embark on a course of action for getting unstuck?

The key is how to get unstuck. I’m referring to the times you feel uninspired or overwhelmed, lack focus, feel anxiety or consider giving up. Do you wait for someone else to shake you out of your funk? Do you ignore the situation and hope it goes away? Or do you reach inside to discover what works for you and use it? Here are some ideas I’ve heard.

Ever heard of power posing? American psychologist Amy Cuddy did a study that found if you stand for 120 seconds like Superman or Wonder Woman, your body chemistry changes. Testosterone increases and cortisol -- the stress hormone -- decreases, which make our bodies and minds feel better and more powerful.

Life coach Tony Robbins also believes the best way to get unstuck is not with your mind, but with your body. He stresses movement, breathing and shifting your body.

Clinical psychologists suggest that before you can get unstuck, you must figure out what the problem is and then deal with it. Studies show that paying more attention to your experiences can help you to gain greater control and insight into your emotions. It can increase your tolerances and help increase awareness. Paying attention to your experiences is a skill, just like riding a bicycle. The better you get at this, the less likely you will get stuck.

From time to time, even the most creative minds get stuck. Like a baseball player who can’t get a hit or a salesperson who can’t close a sale, someone in the midst of a slump can’t imagine the possibility of overcoming it. But ballplayers and salespeople who don’t give up usually manage to work their way out, and so can you. Try some of these strategies:

-- Take some time off. In other words, seek a change of scenery. Instead of increasing your frustration, back away for a while. Go to the movies, visit a museum or attend a sporting event. Taking your mind off the problem can give you a chance to recharge.

-- Talk to people. Don’t isolate yourself. Go out and talk with friends, family members, co-workers, whoever. You don’t have to ask for suggestions or advice. Just open yourself to other conversations and ideas, and allow your mind to shift out of the rut.

-- Change your routine. Shake up your day by taking on tasks in a different order or switching things around in your workplace. Delegate jobs you always do yourself and take on projects that you usually hand off, for example. Or start your day with long-term planning and end it by checking your email if you typically do the opposite.

-- Engage all your senses. Approach the problem from a different angle. What would a solution feel like in your hands, sound like as a song, taste like if it were a beverage? Don’t limit yourself to what you can see. Extend your mind in different directions, and you may find a dimension you hadn’t considered before.

-- Work out. Do something physical to get the blood flowing through your body and your brain. Hit the gym, lift some weights, go swimming or just take a long, brisk walk. Pay attention to your surroundings instead of thinking about the work you’re not doing. You may find a fresh idea right in front of you.

Mackay’s Moral: Don’t let getting stuck leave you out of luck.

life

The Importance of Kindness

Harvey Mackay by by Harvey Mackay
by Harvey Mackay
Harvey Mackay | August 27th, 2018

Two young men were out in a rowboat when it overturned. Luckily, two women were nearby in another boat and came to their aid. The men were a long way from shore and needed medical attention. Unfortunately, the women had neither a radio nor a motor on their boat.

The women screamed for help at each passing motorboat on the waterway, but their pleas were ignored. By the time they were finally able to secure help, one of the young men had perished from his injuries.

This was the story Lorraine Jara read in her local newspaper one day, more than 30 years ago. Though Jara did not know any of the people involved in this tragedy, it touched her so deeply that she had to do something. So, on August 25, 1988, Jara created Be Kind to Humankind Week.

To encourage others to engage in kind and civil behavior, Jara created the following themes for each day of the special week:

-- Sacrifice Our Wants for Others’ Needs Sunday

-- Motorist Consideration Monday

-- Touch A Heart Tuesday

-- Willing to Lend a Hand Wednesday

-- Forgive Your Foe Friday

-- Speak Kind Words Saturday

Imagine how much nicer the world would be if each one of us committed to adhering to these concepts during this week and every week thereafter.

The smallest act of kindness can have a significant impact on a person’s life. Nice people can finish first. And they have in common some habits that are practically second nature to them. You can develop them too.

First, be kind to yourself. You’ll find being nice to others easier if you build your self-respect with positive thoughts about your personality and achievements.

Treat everyone with respect, and I mean EVERYONE! Don’t worry about who’s on top. Treat everyone the way you want to be treated, regardless of their position or job title.

Say no when necessary. You can’t do everything. But when you do say no, be polite and positive. And when you are making requests, be gracious when someone needs to say no to you.

Plant seeds of kindness. Do something nice every day, even when your kindness may not have an immediate payoff. If you are being kind for some specific reward, you are not being kind, you are being selfish.

Every form of kindness you show doesn't bounce, it reproduces itself. It is good to be good. Be nice. Take the high road.

Here's another story that illustrates this point. A young boy, out on a ramble to study wildlife, became very hungry and decided he would stop at the next farmhouse. A lovely young woman opened the door. Instead of a meal, he just asked for a glass of water. The woman thought he looked hungry, so she brought him a large glass of milk. He drank it slowly, and then asked, “How much do I owe you?”

“You don't owe me anything,” she replied. “Mother taught us never to accept pay for kindness.” He said, “Then I thank you from my heart.”

Years later, that young woman became ill. The local doctors sent her to the big city, where Dr. Howard Kelly was called in for the consultation.

When he heard the name of the town where she came from, his eyes lit up. Immediately, he went down the hall of the hospital to her room. He recognized her at once. He went back to the consultation room determined to do his best to cure her illness. From that day, he gave special attention to that case and saw her through her recovery.

Dr. Kelly, one of the four founding doctors of Johns Hopkins Hospital, requested the business office to pass the final bill to him for approval. He looked at it, then wrote something on it. When the woman received the bill, she feared opening it because she was sure it might take the rest of her life to pay for it. Finally, she looked, and noticed something was written at the edge of the note: “Paid in full with a glass of milk.” Tears filled her eyes as she made the connection and remembered the hungry boy she had helped years before.

By the way, Dr. Kelly had a habit of taking care of the bills of three out of four of his patients. Surely this kindness made many of his patients feel much better.

Mackay’s Moral: Being kind should be celebrated every day, not just one week out of the year.

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