A famous trapeze performer and teacher was instructing his students. After full explanations and instruction in this complicated skill, he asked them to demonstrate.

However, one of the students, looking up at the insecure perch upon which he was expected to perform, was suddenly paralyzed with fear. He had a terrifying vision of falling to the ground and being seriously injured. Frozen with fear, he was unable to move a muscle.

“I can't do it! I can't do it!” he cried.

The instructor put his arm around the boy's shoulder and said quietly, “Son, you can do it, and I will tell you how.” Speaking slowly and with conviction, he said, “Throw your heart over the bar and your body will follow.”

That is what the boy did, and he turned in a performance on the bar high above the ground that surprised even him. He was never afraid again.

If you are human, you will feel fear, says psychologist Tara Brach, author of “Radical Acceptance.” But often what makes fear powerful is our resistance to it, such as when we brush it away as if it doesn’t really exist, or pretend that we don’t feel what we really feel. Instead, Brach says, a better approach is to accept that we are feeling fear (or anger, or whatever emotion you might be struggling with) and acknowledge it. Say to yourself, “Yes, I am afraid of making a mistake at work.” Follow up with a statement to yourself such as, “I accept this fear of making mistakes.”

That has been my mantra since I followed my dream to own a factory. I was fraught with fear of making mistakes, but somehow convinced myself that making a mistake was a temporary setback, one that I could eventually overcome.

Success usually depends on overcoming our fears: fear of taking a risk, fear of asserting yourself, fear of exposing your deepest self to other people and, ultimately, fear of failure. But for some people, the real fear is -- success itself.

Have you ever thought that perhaps being afraid and uncomfortable can be a positive sign? Dr. Larina Kase, author of a piece appearing in the book “Life’s Missing Instruction Manual,” by Joe Vitale, says that when you feel afraid and anxious it can be a sign that you are stretching yourself to get over your fears.

Kase also recommends that when you are feeling afraid, start the practice of doing the opposite of your instincts. This, she says, will help you start to eliminate your fear and improve your life. Avoiding your fears, she says, is one sure way of making them grow. And the more your discomfort grows, the more you will not live up to your potential as a human being.

Fear of failure can be crippling, but fear of success can paralyze your efforts just as severely. Avoiding success may seem irrational, but success brings change, and change is usually threatening. Success can bring some unsettling worries, but that is fatalistic thinking.

I prefer to take the position that success breeds success.

So, what aspect of success are you fearful of?

Expectations of continued success? Achieving a major goal is hard work. What happens if people expect you to keep doing it indefinitely? Forget about others’ perceptions and expectations. Wouldn’t you rather they expect you to continue to be successful than a one-hit wonder?

Higher stakes? Once you’ve reached a certain pinnacle, what if others will look at you differently? They’ll expect you to continue doing higher-quality work, and you may worry that you are incapable of it. Instead, build on what you have learned and find ways to improve. Keep growing your skills and see how far you can really go.

More attention? People may look to you for advice or assistance once you’ve proved you can succeed. You may worry that you will lose control over your time or privacy. But look on the flipside: Being asked to be a mentor is not only a great compliment, it is a badge of honor. Take pride in the knowledge that others look up to you because of your hard-won success.

Making enemies? Some people delight in taking down successful people. You may worry about having to defend yourself from envious or hostile peers. Let your successes speak for you. When you keep producing, they will be exposed for what they are.

Mackay’s Moral: Would you rather live in fear or bask in success?

A young woman was waiting for her flight at a big airport, so she decided to buy a book to read and a packet of cookies to snack on. She sat down in an armchair in a VIP lounge to relax and read in peace. A man sat down in the next seat, opened his magazine and started reading. When she took out the first cookie, the man took one also. She felt irritated, but said nothing.

For each cookie she took, the man also took one. This infuriated her, but she didn’t want to cause a scene. When only one cookie remained, she thought to herself, “What will this rude man do now?”

Then the man, taking the last cookie, divided it into half, giving her one half. That was too much! She was really angry now. In a huff, she took her book, the rest of her things and stormed off to board the plane. When she sat down in her seat on the plane, she looked into her purse to take out her reading glasses, and to her surprise, her packet of cookies was there, untouched and unopened. She felt so ashamed. She realized that she was wrong.

The man had shared his cookies with her willingly, while she had been very angry, thinking that he was helping himself to her cookies. And now there was no chance to explain herself, nor to apologize.

Have you ever lost your cool and then realized later that you were in the wrong? I’m sure that most of us have. Let’s save ourselves some embarrassment and make sure that we are in possession of all the facts before reacting.

Dale Carnegie said: “When dealing with people, remember you are not dealing with creatures of logic, but creatures of emotions.”

Actor Will Smith expanded on that, saying: “(W)e do not care what's true. We care how it feels.”

We all get angry at work sometimes. If your buttons get pushed, you might need to practice some relaxation techniques so you don’t lose control. According to the American Psychological Association, a few simple relaxation tools can help calm angry feelings: Deep breathing; choosing a calming phrase like “Relax” or “Take it easy” and then repeating it to yourself; visualizing a relaxing experience and practicing slow, yogalike exercises to relax your muscles and calm your nerves.

Smart people don’t let their emotions get out of control. Before exploding at work, remember this advice.

-- Pay attention to your behavior. What’s your tone of voice? What is your body language saying to the other person? Focusing on your reactions and emotions will help you stay calm.

-- Watch and listen. What do the other person’s tone and body language tell you? Try to discern whether the other person wants something from you that he or she isn’t asking for. For example, an employee may be afraid to challenge a manager directly. Ask if there’s something more going on.

-- Stay positive. With a deep breath or two, try to control the impulse that makes you fight back. Try to find something positive, even just the fact that you’re gaining experience dealing with conflict.

-- Focus on the here and now. Don’t bring up problems or disagreements from the past. Stick to the present situation. Keep words like “always” and “never" out of the conversation to avoid blowing the argument out of proportion.

-- Ask yourself, “Would I rather be right or happy?” In some cases, being right may be more important, such as dealing with safety issues. In other situations, you might be better off letting the other person win. It’s never productive to let stubbornness get in the way of listening to another point of view.

-- Take responsibility for communication. You must clear the air -- even if the other person tries to let the problem drop. Insist on an open, honest dialogue that lets everyone express his or her needs and opinions honestly.

Mackay’s Moral: Don’t let your emotions get the best of you; let them show the best of you.

I wish I had a dollar for every time I’ve called someone and been told they're in a meeting. I often wonder if they are in a meeting to see if they should have a meeting.

According to the MeetingKing website, "In the United States alone we 'enjoy' 11 million formal business meetings each day, and we waste $37 billion in unnecessary meetings every year." The site also offered up these statistics:

-- 37 percent of employee time is spent in meetings

-- managers attend more than 60 meetings per month

-- 39 percent of meeting participants admitted to dozing off during a meeting

-- over 70 percent brought other work to meetings

-- an estimated 25 to 50 percent of meeting time is wasted

The researchers found that the more meetings employees attended, the more exhausted they felt and the higher they perceived their workload to be.

Meetings are a fact of life for every employee. Instead of just enduring them, learn to use meetings to your advantage. Meetings can actually be very productive if you manage them effectively. I suspect the main reason people dread meetings is they are not well-planned with specific goals anticipated.

With that in mind, whoever calls the meeting must first decide what needs to be accomplished. The Monday morning sales meeting? The Friday weekly wrap-up? Even if those are typically on the schedule, it’s still necessary to define the purpose of the meeting in one or two sentences. That way people know why they’re present, what needs to be done and how to know if the meeting is successful.

Here is what I do:

Set an agenda. List the issues to discuss, review or decide. Your agenda should include firm starting and ending times, as well as estimates of time for each item under discussion. Time limits encourage people to be better prepared to discuss the subject at hand. They also demonstrate a respect for attendees’ other commitments.

Start on time. Don’t wait for latecomers. If someone is late, don’t go back and review what has been covered. Show that you value the time of the people who showed up promptly. In the same vein, end the meeting as soon as you have achieved what you set out to do.

Appoint a “referee.” The referee’s job is to keep the discussion on track and interrupt whenever the talk strays. New topics that arise should either be tabled until later or scheduled for their own meetings.

Keep and send minutes. Someone other than the meeting organizer should take notes on the meeting. These minutes should record who attended, what was discussed, any agreements that were reached and all time and action items that were assigned -- and who is responsible for them. That ensures that those who attended all have the same information. Minutes can be as simple as bullet points, assignments and timelines. Distribute minutes within 24 hours.

Those are the meeting planner’s duties. Those who attend have some responsibilities too. Instead of whining about yet another meeting biting into your day, approach it with an attitude that this is an opportunity to shine.

Be prepared. Study the agenda or talk to the meeting leader to find out what will be covered. Spend time getting up to speed so you can anticipate where the discussion will lead, and get some ideas of your own ready to present.

Keep things simple. Don’t try to impress people with your vocabulary, or bore people to tears with long-winded sentences. Make your points quickly and succinctly, backing them up with evidence as necessary. Everyone will appreciate your efforts to keep the meeting moving forward.

Ask questions. Look for opportunities to ask pertinent questions that demonstrate your expertise: “Have you considered this approach?” Don’t overdo it, though. You don’t want to be seen as a pest who has to talk to be noticed.

Collaborate. Don’t obsess about your own ideas. Listen to what other people have to say and build on their thoughts. Acknowledge that you’re leapfrogging off someone else’s contribution so no one thinks you’re trying to hog the spotlight or steal the credit. If the meeting time doesn’t allow for serious brainstorming, ask if another session might be scheduled.

Volunteer. Be willing to implement the ideas and solutions that come out of the meeting, even if they’re not your own. You’ll get a reputation as someone people can depend on to get things done.

Mackay’s Moral: Don’t waste your time in meetings -- make it matter!