A young woman was waiting for her flight at a big airport, so she decided to buy a book to read and a packet of cookies to snack on. She sat down in an armchair in a VIP lounge to relax and read in peace. A man sat down in the next seat, opened his magazine and started reading. When she took out the first cookie, the man took one also. She felt irritated, but said nothing.

For each cookie she took, the man also took one. This infuriated her, but she didn’t want to cause a scene. When only one cookie remained, she thought to herself, “What will this rude man do now?”

Then the man, taking the last cookie, divided it into half, giving her one half. That was too much! She was really angry now. In a huff, she took her book, the rest of her things and stormed off to board the plane. When she sat down in her seat on the plane, she looked into her purse to take out her reading glasses, and to her surprise, her packet of cookies was there, untouched and unopened. She felt so ashamed. She realized that she was wrong.

The man had shared his cookies with her willingly, while she had been very angry, thinking that he was helping himself to her cookies. And now there was no chance to explain herself, nor to apologize.

Have you ever lost your cool and then realized later that you were in the wrong? I’m sure that most of us have. Let’s save ourselves some embarrassment and make sure that we are in possession of all the facts before reacting.

Dale Carnegie said: “When dealing with people, remember you are not dealing with creatures of logic, but creatures of emotions.”

Actor Will Smith expanded on that, saying: “(W)e do not care what's true. We care how it feels.”

We all get angry at work sometimes. If your buttons get pushed, you might need to practice some relaxation techniques so you don’t lose control. According to the American Psychological Association, a few simple relaxation tools can help calm angry feelings: Deep breathing; choosing a calming phrase like “Relax” or “Take it easy” and then repeating it to yourself; visualizing a relaxing experience and practicing slow, yogalike exercises to relax your muscles and calm your nerves.

Smart people don’t let their emotions get out of control. Before exploding at work, remember this advice.

-- Pay attention to your behavior. What’s your tone of voice? What is your body language saying to the other person? Focusing on your reactions and emotions will help you stay calm.

-- Watch and listen. What do the other person’s tone and body language tell you? Try to discern whether the other person wants something from you that he or she isn’t asking for. For example, an employee may be afraid to challenge a manager directly. Ask if there’s something more going on.

-- Stay positive. With a deep breath or two, try to control the impulse that makes you fight back. Try to find something positive, even just the fact that you’re gaining experience dealing with conflict.

-- Focus on the here and now. Don’t bring up problems or disagreements from the past. Stick to the present situation. Keep words like “always” and “never" out of the conversation to avoid blowing the argument out of proportion.

-- Ask yourself, “Would I rather be right or happy?” In some cases, being right may be more important, such as dealing with safety issues. In other situations, you might be better off letting the other person win. It’s never productive to let stubbornness get in the way of listening to another point of view.

-- Take responsibility for communication. You must clear the air -- even if the other person tries to let the problem drop. Insist on an open, honest dialogue that lets everyone express his or her needs and opinions honestly.

Mackay’s Moral: Don’t let your emotions get the best of you; let them show the best of you.

I wish I had a dollar for every time I’ve called someone and been told they're in a meeting. I often wonder if they are in a meeting to see if they should have a meeting.

According to the MeetingKing website, "In the United States alone we 'enjoy' 11 million formal business meetings each day, and we waste $37 billion in unnecessary meetings every year." The site also offered up these statistics:

-- 37 percent of employee time is spent in meetings

-- managers attend more than 60 meetings per month

-- 39 percent of meeting participants admitted to dozing off during a meeting

-- over 70 percent brought other work to meetings

-- an estimated 25 to 50 percent of meeting time is wasted

The researchers found that the more meetings employees attended, the more exhausted they felt and the higher they perceived their workload to be.

Meetings are a fact of life for every employee. Instead of just enduring them, learn to use meetings to your advantage. Meetings can actually be very productive if you manage them effectively. I suspect the main reason people dread meetings is they are not well-planned with specific goals anticipated.

With that in mind, whoever calls the meeting must first decide what needs to be accomplished. The Monday morning sales meeting? The Friday weekly wrap-up? Even if those are typically on the schedule, it’s still necessary to define the purpose of the meeting in one or two sentences. That way people know why they’re present, what needs to be done and how to know if the meeting is successful.

Here is what I do:

Set an agenda. List the issues to discuss, review or decide. Your agenda should include firm starting and ending times, as well as estimates of time for each item under discussion. Time limits encourage people to be better prepared to discuss the subject at hand. They also demonstrate a respect for attendees’ other commitments.

Start on time. Don’t wait for latecomers. If someone is late, don’t go back and review what has been covered. Show that you value the time of the people who showed up promptly. In the same vein, end the meeting as soon as you have achieved what you set out to do.

Appoint a “referee.” The referee’s job is to keep the discussion on track and interrupt whenever the talk strays. New topics that arise should either be tabled until later or scheduled for their own meetings.

Keep and send minutes. Someone other than the meeting organizer should take notes on the meeting. These minutes should record who attended, what was discussed, any agreements that were reached and all time and action items that were assigned -- and who is responsible for them. That ensures that those who attended all have the same information. Minutes can be as simple as bullet points, assignments and timelines. Distribute minutes within 24 hours.

Those are the meeting planner’s duties. Those who attend have some responsibilities too. Instead of whining about yet another meeting biting into your day, approach it with an attitude that this is an opportunity to shine.

Be prepared. Study the agenda or talk to the meeting leader to find out what will be covered. Spend time getting up to speed so you can anticipate where the discussion will lead, and get some ideas of your own ready to present.

Keep things simple. Don’t try to impress people with your vocabulary, or bore people to tears with long-winded sentences. Make your points quickly and succinctly, backing them up with evidence as necessary. Everyone will appreciate your efforts to keep the meeting moving forward.

Ask questions. Look for opportunities to ask pertinent questions that demonstrate your expertise: “Have you considered this approach?” Don’t overdo it, though. You don’t want to be seen as a pest who has to talk to be noticed.

Collaborate. Don’t obsess about your own ideas. Listen to what other people have to say and build on their thoughts. Acknowledge that you’re leapfrogging off someone else’s contribution so no one thinks you’re trying to hog the spotlight or steal the credit. If the meeting time doesn’t allow for serious brainstorming, ask if another session might be scheduled.

Volunteer. Be willing to implement the ideas and solutions that come out of the meeting, even if they’re not your own. You’ll get a reputation as someone people can depend on to get things done.

Mackay’s Moral: Don’t waste your time in meetings -- make it matter!

A young vice president was appointed by the board of directors of a bank to replace the retiring president and founder. With fear and trepidation, he made an appointment to visit with the seasoned retiree to seek his advice.

"Mr. Clark, I need your counsel," the vice president said. "How can I possibly be successful in this job?"

The elderly man leaned forward in his chair. "Young man," he growled, "these two words are the key to your success -- RIGHT DECISIONS!"

"Thank you, sir. But how can I make sure I am making right decisions?"

"Experience. Experience will ensure you make right decisions."

A long silence followed. "That's helpful," said the young executive, "but how do I get the right experience?"

The elderly man stood, looked him directly in the eye, smiled and responded, "WRONG DECISIONS."

This retiring president admitted to making mistakes and learned from them. I've discovered that the biggest mistake people can make is to be afraid to make one, and perhaps the next biggest is to be afraid to admit having made one.

If you make a mistake, 'fess up. Most of the time people respect those who take responsibility for their own mistakes. Regardless, you will be better off admitting it than spending considerably more energy trying to avoid the subject. Everyone makes mistakes, after all, and if you take the time to learn from what went wrong, you'll be a lot less likely to make the same mistake again.

Be accountable. No one likes doing business with someone who makes excuses. If you don't accept responsibility for the mistakes you make, you'll lose customers and the trust and respect of employees.

As Winston Churchill said, "If you simply take up the attitude of defending a mistake, there will be no hope of improvement."

Don't waste time pretending you've still got a chance at success when your plans are crumbling around you. You've got to be hard-nosed about deciding where to put your resources, and cold-blooded about pulling the plug on projects and goals that aren't working out.

Even geniuses must admit mistakes: Thomas Edison once spent more than $2 million on an invention that proved useless. In today's dollars, we're talking about serious money!

Also, don't downplay negative results. Some people try to act as if their failures are no big deal. Don't lose hope or abandon your efforts, but be open about your feelings with yourself and other people.

Author Mortimer Feinberg illustrates that point: "When John Kennedy lost a bid for the Democratic vice presidential nomination in 1956 to Estes Kefauver, he didn't quit. He said, 'OK, now we know the mistakes we made; we know what we have to do to win. In 1960 we'll go for the big job.' The rest is history."

Once you make a mistake and admit it, move on. Beating yourself up publicly or privately doesn't do much good. You need to keep your focus and not get distracted when things go wrong. The great Babe Ruth held the record of 714 career home runs for years, but he also held the record for strikeouts at 1,330. Would he have been so successful if he had focused on the strikeouts every time he was up to bat?

Above all, don't blame others. Focus on solving problems, not finding someone or something to blame. Good managers (and employees) analyze what they did wrong and learn from it. When you take this tack with yourself, your employees will be encouraged to learn to look objectively at their own performance.

Remember the old proverb: Stumbling is not falling. And falling does not have to mean failing. Most important, failure is not final.

Christopher Columbus made the mother of all mistakes. When he set out in 1492 on his first trans-Atlantic voyage, he announced that he was going west to get to the east. He had plenty of skeptics, but refused to be deterred.

Other explorers had preceded his arrival in North America, but perhaps Columbus' biggest mistake was that he never admitted he had reached a continent previously unknown to Europeans, rather than the East Indies for which he had set course. Columbus always insisted the lands he visited during those voyages were part of the Asian continent. While not without controversy, Columbus' "mistake" changed the course of Western history.

Your mistakes will not likely have that kind of impact. Keep your mistakes in perspective so you can react to them appropriately.

Mackay's Moral: Mistakes can be steppingstones to success.