Joe paced back and forth in his sister’s kitchen one Sunday before dinner. His sister, Carol, recognized the worried look on his face and called him over to where she stood next to the sink.

“Hey, Joe, can you hold on to this for me?” She handed him a can of vegetable scraps.

Joe took the can and walked outside where he threw the scraps in the compost bin before returning to the kitchen.

“Why did you toss my scraps? I asked you to hold on to them.”

“Why would you ask me to hold on to garbage?” Joe asked.

“I thought you liked holding on to useless things,” she replied.

“What do you mean?”

“You’ve been wearing a path on my kitchen floor, preoccupied with whatever is on your mind. I doubt if you heard anything I said to you before now, yet you instinctively tossed the compost scraps without giving them a second thought.”

He had to admit that Carol was right. “But is there a point to this?” he asked.

Carol offered him a simple suggestion: “Why don’t you apply that same logic to whatever is bothering you? If it’s something you can change, change it. If it’s something you can’t change, let it go.”

Holding on to things that are eating at you is not just unproductive; it’s a recipe for disaster. In other words, throw out those scraps before they start to smell.

Carol’s advice is golden. Her words are especially appropriate for managers who have so little confidence in their staffs that it affects their job performance.

Are you a micromanager? A second-guesser? If you are, you need to stop. This is not a healthy way to manage people -- for yourself or for other employees.

As a manager, you need to look at your need to control. Are you trying to get your employees to do things the way you do them because you think your way is superior? This is a dangerous mindset for a manager because you are not looking ahead to the outcome, but are getting caught up in controlling the process, according to Johanna Rothman on the Rothman Consulting website. Is that what you really want to do? Is it productive?

Many managers micromanage as a form of quality control. These managers often find themselves working unbelievably long hours in order to redo the work of others. If you’re always swamped with work and you just can’t seem to let others take a piece of the responsibility pie, then you’ve got a problem.

Not trusting your staff is essentially the same as not trusting yourself to manage them effectively.

Learning to trust your staff and allowing them to make mistakes is part of being a mature manager. Many managers believe that it is a virtue to make every decision along the way -- to control every detail of, well, everything. But the truth is, a good manager helps make sure that her direct reports keep the flow of work going. A good manager is more interested in the growth of his direct reports and the eventual positive and freeing workplace that can be developed when employees are operating as autonomously as possible.

To improve your ability to manage, you will need to let go of your need to control quality at every stop. This does not mean you sacrifice quality. It simply means you are not the quality control traffic cop. You are a manager, and that means you assist people in being able to do their jobs. You don’t block their ability to do it by second-guessing, redoing work and spending long hours in the office. You give them the tools to do their jobs correctly and with the best possible results.

Letting go is not always simple. But don’t let worrying about what you might lose when you let go change your resolve. Consider the lesson the following little fellow learned.

A young boy was playing one day with a very valuable vase. When he put his hand inside it and couldn’t pull it back out, he called for his mother. His mother tried gently to slide his hand free, but it remained stuck.

She was ready to break the vase when she said, “OK, let’s try one more time. Open your hand and hold your fingers straight out and then pull.”

“Oh, no, mommy!” the boy cried. “If I do that, I’ll drop my quarter!”

Mackay’s Moral: Worry is wasting today’s time to clutter up tomorrow’s opportunities with yesterday’s troubles.

I had the pleasure of attending the Super Bowl in my home state of Minnesota in February, and went to many of the parties and events leading up to the big game. One of my favorites is Taste of the NFL, which made its debut in 1992, when Minneapolis first hosted the Super Bowl.

My friend Wayne Kostroski, a successful Minneapolis restaurateur, started Taste of the NFL to address the needs of the hungry and homeless by raising awareness and money through programs and special events. Wayne saw the opportunity to use the world stage to help those who could not be part of the Super Bowl festivities. Through his masterful persuasion, he initiated one of the most anticipated and delicious annual events of the big week.

Chefs and players donate their skills for a party that raises big bucks to help kick hunger, which affects one out of six people in our country. The beneficiaries are the Feeding America-affiliated food banks in each of the NFL team cities, as well as other hunger relief organizations. More than $25 million has been raised over the last 26 years, more than $1 million again this year.

There are plenty of parties during Super Bowl week. But this one is different. That’s why Wayne calls it “A party with a purpose.”

Everyone needs a purpose in life. Mine is helping people through business advice from my books, speeches and this nationally syndicated column. Many people have asked me over the years -- and especially the sales reps at our envelope manufacturing company -- why I share many success secrets. My answer is always the same: I’m happy to offer guidance on business principles and achieving success. I am grateful to those who mentored me, and I have made it my purpose to help people reach their potential.

To discover your true purpose in life -- not your job or your goals -- you’ll just need 20 minutes, says personal growth specialist Steve Pavlina. What he’s talking about, he says, is answering the question of why you are here on the planet.

Pavlina learned about finding purpose in a pretty dramatic way. When he was 19, he found himself in jail for felony grand theft. When he got out of jail, he learned that he'd been kicked out of school. Then, he says, something clicked. He woke up and grew up instead of giving up. He took responsibility for his actions, and he’s not in jail or living a life of crime. Instead, he’s helping others find their way to more meaningful lives.

To find your purpose here’s what he says to do: Write or type the question, “What is my purpose in life?” Then write whatever pops into your head. Repeat this process -- keep writing answers -- until you hit one that raises your emotion. You’ll know when you’ve got it, he says.

Life coach Shannon Kaiser has another approach: You can’t think your way into finding your life purpose; you have to do your way into it. “The more we act, the more we get clear on things,” she explains. “So start taking steps toward your goals and start trying new things ... The experience is the reward; clarity comes through the process of exploring. Action is where you get results.

“Let go of thinking there is only one purpose for you, and embrace the idea that our purpose in life is to love life fully,” Kaiser says. “When we live a passion-filled life, we are living on purpose, and that is the purpose of life.”

People with a strong sense of purpose know what they want, why they want it, and how they plan to achieve it. Purpose-driven people get in the habit of doing things they don’t like to do in order to accomplish the purpose they have defined for themselves.

Swedish chemist Alfred Nobel made a fortune inventing powerful explosives and marketing them to governments for weapons development. But when a newspaper accidentally ran his obituary instead of his late brother’s, he was concerned that he would be remembered as the man who created methods of death and destruction.

So he set out to find his real purpose. He established the Nobel Prize to reward accomplishments in the arts and sciences that would benefit humanity.

Mackay’s Moral: A life with a purpose is a life full of promise.

President Lyndon Johnson was famous for his well-developed ego. There's an old story that one day he was stopped by a Texas patrolman for speeding. When the patrolman came closer to Johnson’s car and saw who was driving, he reportedly exclaimed, “Oh, my God!!”

Looking straight at the patrolman, Johnson replied, “And don’t you forget it!”

Unfortunately, many leaders get chapped lips from kissing the mirror too often. They worship their self-creation too much.

I have a different way of talking about ego in my speeches. If you think you’re indispensable, I tell people, stick your finger in a bowl of water and watch the hole it leaves when you pull it out.

I’m not saying that all ego is bad. It isn’t. Everyone should have enough confidence/ego to stand on their own. It’s what defines you and gives you spark, creativity and individuality. There’s nothing wrong with having drive, passion and excitement. Those are all good. But don’t confuse ego with arrogance. Where people get into trouble with ego is when it is misused.

I like to share this reality check with my audiences: When you put yourself on a pedestal and let your ego get the best of you, just remember that the size of your funeral will depend largely on the weather.

Former pro wrestler turned movie star Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, said: “Check your ego at the door. The ego can be the great success inhibitor. It can kill opportunities, and it can kill success.”

Think about those words. Do any of us have too many opportunities or too much success? No. Do any of us have too much ego? Yes.

There are some telltale signs that your ego is out of control. For example, do you complain frequently? Do you need to find fault with things both large and small just to get your fingerprints on a project? That might be a sign you need to take a step back.

If being judgmental is your hallmark, ask yourself why your ideas are superior to everyone else’s. I’m not referring to the everyday assessments that managers and committees need to perform. But when snarky is the norm, muzzle yourself. Arguing and fighting with others doesn’t usually provide the desired results. If you have productive suggestions, make them respectfully.

Make every effort not to be a know-it-all. Because you can’t -- know it all, that is. You can know a lot, or be at expert level, or maybe you even “wrote the book” on a topic. But it’s usually more effective to let someone else brag you up. You achieve better credibility when others toot your horn.

When the shoe is on the other foot, how does your ego show itself? Being defensive when you are criticized is unprofessional and immature. Instead of blaming others, learn to listen to them and see how much they have to contribute. Give your co-workers or subordinates a chance to shine to prove that your ego is not in the way of success.

Holding grudges won’t get you anywhere either. If you plan to keep working with the same people, you really have to work at working with them. Get over yourself! I can tell you from my own experience, sooner or later you will need their help. If you have burned your bridges, you will have a tough time getting assistance when you need it.

Once you figure out that you may have been wrong or overstepped a boundary, be willing to apologize. A little humility is always welcome, as long as it’s sincere. Admit your mistakes and offer whatever help or support you can.

Let’s put this in a nutshell. If you want to overcome your ego, you need to learn to let go.

-- Let go of being offended at every little thing.

-- Let go of the need to win and be right all the time.

-- Let go of the need to be superior.

-- Let go of identifying yourself by your achievements and reputation.

There are also a few things to keep.

-- Keep your temper in check.

-- Keep your sense of humor.

-- Keep your tone respectful.

-- Keep your mind and ears open.

A man once told Buddha, “I want happiness.”

Buddha replied: “First remove ‘I’; that’s ego. Then remove ‘want’; that’s desire. And now all you’re left with is happiness.”

Mackay’s Moral: Get over yourself before you trip over yourself.