life

Hang on to Your Ego

Harvey Mackay by by Harvey Mackay
by Harvey Mackay
Harvey Mackay | February 19th, 2018

President Lyndon Johnson was famous for his well-developed ego. There's an old story that one day he was stopped by a Texas patrolman for speeding. When the patrolman came closer to Johnson’s car and saw who was driving, he reportedly exclaimed, “Oh, my God!!”

Looking straight at the patrolman, Johnson replied, “And don’t you forget it!”

Unfortunately, many leaders get chapped lips from kissing the mirror too often. They worship their self-creation too much.

I have a different way of talking about ego in my speeches. If you think you’re indispensable, I tell people, stick your finger in a bowl of water and watch the hole it leaves when you pull it out.

I’m not saying that all ego is bad. It isn’t. Everyone should have enough confidence/ego to stand on their own. It’s what defines you and gives you spark, creativity and individuality. There’s nothing wrong with having drive, passion and excitement. Those are all good. But don’t confuse ego with arrogance. Where people get into trouble with ego is when it is misused.

I like to share this reality check with my audiences: When you put yourself on a pedestal and let your ego get the best of you, just remember that the size of your funeral will depend largely on the weather.

Former pro wrestler turned movie star Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, said: “Check your ego at the door. The ego can be the great success inhibitor. It can kill opportunities, and it can kill success.”

Think about those words. Do any of us have too many opportunities or too much success? No. Do any of us have too much ego? Yes.

There are some telltale signs that your ego is out of control. For example, do you complain frequently? Do you need to find fault with things both large and small just to get your fingerprints on a project? That might be a sign you need to take a step back.

If being judgmental is your hallmark, ask yourself why your ideas are superior to everyone else’s. I’m not referring to the everyday assessments that managers and committees need to perform. But when snarky is the norm, muzzle yourself. Arguing and fighting with others doesn’t usually provide the desired results. If you have productive suggestions, make them respectfully.

Make every effort not to be a know-it-all. Because you can’t -- know it all, that is. You can know a lot, or be at expert level, or maybe you even “wrote the book” on a topic. But it’s usually more effective to let someone else brag you up. You achieve better credibility when others toot your horn.

When the shoe is on the other foot, how does your ego show itself? Being defensive when you are criticized is unprofessional and immature. Instead of blaming others, learn to listen to them and see how much they have to contribute. Give your co-workers or subordinates a chance to shine to prove that your ego is not in the way of success.

Holding grudges won’t get you anywhere either. If you plan to keep working with the same people, you really have to work at working with them. Get over yourself! I can tell you from my own experience, sooner or later you will need their help. If you have burned your bridges, you will have a tough time getting assistance when you need it.

Once you figure out that you may have been wrong or overstepped a boundary, be willing to apologize. A little humility is always welcome, as long as it’s sincere. Admit your mistakes and offer whatever help or support you can.

Let’s put this in a nutshell. If you want to overcome your ego, you need to learn to let go.

-- Let go of being offended at every little thing.

-- Let go of the need to win and be right all the time.

-- Let go of the need to be superior.

-- Let go of identifying yourself by your achievements and reputation.

There are also a few things to keep.

-- Keep your temper in check.

-- Keep your sense of humor.

-- Keep your tone respectful.

-- Keep your mind and ears open.

A man once told Buddha, “I want happiness.”

Buddha replied: “First remove ‘I’; that’s ego. Then remove ‘want’; that’s desire. And now all you’re left with is happiness.”

Mackay’s Moral: Get over yourself before you trip over yourself.

life

Street Smarts for the Boardroom

Harvey Mackay by by Harvey Mackay
by Harvey Mackay
Harvey Mackay | February 12th, 2018

I’m back with another installment of street smarts, those skills that go beyond what is taught in school -- the lessons we learn by experience and practice. Never underestimate the value and importance of “extracurricular” education.

First idea: Don’t be afraid to make a decision. Be afraid NOT to make a decision. Good judgment is a critically important skill for any person to have, but especially for those in leadership positions. Good judgment is such an important attribute that it is often listed first by employers as a required quality of job applicants.

In business, the success or failure of the organization hinges on judgments made at all levels. Good judgment is the ability to make the best decision possible based on the information you have, without being swayed by others or predetermined ideas.

What kind of a decision-maker are you? Take a few minutes to contemplate the question, because once you become aware of how you make (or don’t make) decisions, you will be more apt to make wiser choices in the future.

Next idea: Never make a decision until you have to. Always bargain for more time to postpone doom. Things can change over time.

For example, there once was a king who was trying to find someone who could teach his horse to fly. As the king was conducting court one day, two guards dragged in a beggar who had just stolen a loaf of bread.

The king said, “Take him away and chop his head off!” As he was being dragged away, the beggar said, “But my king, I can teach your horse to fly. Just give me two years.”

“Granted,” the king said.

As the beggar is being carted out, a guard quizzically asks him, “Why did you promise that?”

“Look ... In two years, I may be dead. The king may be dead. Or who knows, maybe I can teach the horse to fly!”

Next idea: Practice the Rule of 10,000. This rule helps determine whether something can’t be done or whether someone doesn’t care enough to get it done.

The Rule of 10,000 says, “If I give you an extra $10,000 to get to work by 8 a.m. for six months straight, can you do it?” Watch how fast the obstacles disappear, contingencies are set up, departure time from home is earlier and so on.

You don’t necessarily give people $10,000, but it’s a good way to see if something is possible.

Next idea: Always put the pressure on yourself and tell everyone what your goals are. I do this with all kinds of projects. It’s great motivation.

Next idea: You can take any amount of pain, as long as you know it will end. For example, I was running the Twin Cities Marathon several years back when a woman stopped me with two miles to go and said she wasn’t sure she could finish. She said, “Mr. Mackay, motivate me!” I gave her the above thought on pain as we ran side-by-side, and we both made it.

Next idea: It’s not the people you fire who make your life miserable ... it’s the people you don’t fire who make your life miserable. And whenever I say that, I get more amens than a Billy Graham sermon.

Next idea: Maximize your education dollars. When your company sends its people to conferences, make sure you get maximum value. At our company, we insist that our people come back from conferences and teach the rest of the staff what they learned. This way we get a terrific return on our investment.

Next idea: Never give an ultimatum unless you mean it. A close friend shared this story of a high stakes negotiation. He was living in Minnesota and wanted desperately to buy one of his competitors in Los Angeles. He had information that whatever his bid was, the owners had a local businessman who would bid for the business as a wedge to get the price up.

There was a summit conference call with the six owners plus my friend to negotiate and finalize a price. Then came the knockout blow. My friend bid 15 percent to 20 percent percent more for the company than his previous proposal, but his new offer was on the table during the call only. The buyers could either accept it or not. The offer was so good, the owners decided to take it. They weren’t going to chance it on their friend matching it.

Mackay’s Moral: Use your street smarts to outsmart your competition.

life

Hedgehogs, Mules and Teamwork

Harvey Mackay by by Harvey Mackay
by Harvey Mackay
Harvey Mackay | February 5th, 2018

It was a cold winter. A group of hedgehogs, realizing the situation, decided to bunch together to keep warm. However, the quills from each hedgehog pierced their next-door neighbors, so they decided to move apart. But then they started to freeze and die alone, so they made the decision to cuddle back together and live with the little piercings caused by the close connection with their companions in order to receive the heat that came from the group. This allowed them to survive.

And that, my friends, is the perfect definition of teamwork.

No team is composed entirely of perfect people. Whether you’re a superstar or a benchwarmer, you are an important member of the team.

Individuals working together as a group make a team successful. The success of any team -- be it in sports or in business -- is dependent on every person working toward a common goal. The role of every team member, no matter how seemingly insignificant, is valuable to the team’s overall success. Success doesn’t come from what you do occasionally; it comes from what you do consistently.

Andrew Carnegie, the business magnate and philanthropist who led the expansion of the American steel industry in the late 19th century, said: “Teamwork is the ability to work together toward a common vision, the ability to direct individual accomplishments toward organizational objectives. It is the fuel that allows common people to attain uncommon results.”

Do you think he knew about hedgehogs?

Helen Keller said, “Alone, we can do so little; together we can do so much.”

That’s hedgehog talk if I’ve ever heard it!

I always get a kick out of when a person refers to someone else as a self-made man or woman. Let me tell you, there is no such thing. No one reaches their goals without the help of many others.

As Steve Jobs, the founder of Apple, said, “Great things in business are never done by one person. They are done by a team of people.”

Whether you’re forming a fully self-directed work team or leading a group that just needs to collaborate effectively, you must recruit the right people. Keep your eyes open for these abilities and traits:

-- Willingness to contribute. Is the person ready to put the team’s goals first? This doesn’t mean ignoring personal needs, but it does mean that team members must put their primary energy into contributing to the team so they can share in its success.

-- Acceptance of roles. People on a team have specific jobs, tasks and roles. Although they should be willing to stretch themselves, they won’t be effective or helpful if they insist on going outside the boundaries of what the team needs from them.

-- Eagerness to assist. On a team, no one can back off and say, “That’s not my job.” Look for people with a track record of pitching in to help wherever they’re needed as situations call for it.

-- Identification with the group. Effective team members take pride from their association with the group. Find out what other teams, task forces and committees a potential team member has worked on. How does he or she describe the experience?

-- Responsible attitude. Everyone’s eager to share credit. Is your team made up of people willing to accept responsibility for failure? Look for people who can be honest about their mistakes and willing to learn from experience.

Perhaps the best example of teamwork I’ve ever heard of is one I share with my audiences whenever I give a speech. It’s about mules, not hedgehogs, but the message is every bit as effective.

A salesman is driving on a two-lane country road in a rainstorm and gets stuck in a ditch. He asks a farmer for help. The farmer hitches up Elmo, his blind mule, to the salesman's car and hollers out, “Pull, Sam, pull!” Nothing happens. He then yells, “Pull, Bessie, pull.” Still nothing. “Pull, Jackson, pull.” Still nothing. Finally, he hollers, “Pull, Elmo, pull.” And Elmo rips the car right out of the ditch.

The driver is confused and says, “I don’t understand. Why did you have to call out all those different names?”

“Look, if he didn't think he had any help, he wouldn't even try!”

Mackay’s Moral: For a winning team, recruit hedgehogs, not attention hogs.

Next up: More trusted advice from...

  • Aiding Animal Refugees
  • Contented Cats
  • Pale Gums: What They Mean
  • Toy Around
  • A Clean Getaway
  • Patio Appeal
  • Friend’s Comment Makes Woman Ask Questions
  • Husband Unwilling To Support Wife After Layoff
  • Student Afraid To Tell Parents About Side Job
UExpressLifeParentingHomePetsHealthAstrologyOdditiesA-Z
AboutContactSubmissionsTerms of ServicePrivacy Policy
©2022 Andrews McMeel Universal