life

The Wisdom of Parents

Harvey Mackay by by Harvey Mackay
by Harvey Mackay
Harvey Mackay | July 17th, 2017

The Boy Scouts were at camp. In an inspection, the director found an umbrella neatly rolled inside the bedroll of a small scout. An umbrella was not listed as a necessary item, so the director asked the boy to explain.

“Sir,” answered the young man with a weary sigh, “did you ever have a mother?”

Everyone has heard of Mother’s Day and Father’s Day, but do you know about Parents’ Day? In 1994, President Bill Clinton established Parents’ Day as the fourth Sunday in July for “recognizing, uplifting and supporting the role of parents in the rearing of children.” This year, Parents’ Day is on Sunday, July 23.

I always end my columns with a moral that wraps up the message in a tidy little package. The following lessons are kind of like that: You get the gist without any extra words. This kind of education will especially bring back memories to baby boomers and those older, who can attest to the tremendous “home schooling” we received. As I look back on things, moms and dads got their points across, often in a humorous way.

I can’t claim credit for the subsequent text, and the authorship is variously attributed on the web. But it's full of gems, and in the middle of the long, hot summer, a little humor might brighten your day. Here goes:

My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. “If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning.”

My mother taught me RELIGION. “You better pray that will come out of the carpet.”

My father taught me about TIME TRAVEL. “If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!”

My father taught me LOGIC. “Because I said so, that's why.”

My mother taught me MORE LOGIC. “If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me.”

My mother taught me FORESIGHT. “Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident.”

My father taught me IRONY. “Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about.”

My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS. “Shut your mouth and eat your supper.”

My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM. “Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!”

My mother taught me about STAMINA. “You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone.”

My mother taught me about WEATHER. “This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it.”

My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY. “If I've told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!”

My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION. “Stop acting like your father!”

My mother and father taught me about GRATITUDE. “There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do.”

My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION. “Just wait until we get home.”

My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE. “If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way.”

My father taught me HUMOR. “When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me.”

My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT. “If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up.”

My father taught me WISDOM. “When you get to be my age, you'll understand.”

And my favorite: My parents taught me about JUSTICE. “One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!”

Humor aside, parents are smart. Despite what their children think, they have been around the block a time or two and know what they are doing.

Let me close with an old story about a king who had a beautiful ring and three sons who each wanted the ring. When the king died, he left three rings for his sons and a note that said, “My dear sons, one of these rings is real and two are fake. The way you will know who has the real ring is that the son with the real ring will be kind and generous to all people.”

Each of the three sons spent the rest of his life being good to others to prove that he had the real ring.

Mackay’s Moral: A child’s life is determined by just how hard his mother and father work at being parents.

life

A Moral Compendium

Harvey Mackay by by Harvey Mackay
by Harvey Mackay
Harvey Mackay | July 10th, 2017

Readers of this column are remarkable when it comes to telling me what they like most about my weekly musings. Of course, I’m honored when they tell me they have posted my words on company bulletin boards or used the lessons as motivation.

But without question, the most frequent feedback I get is that the column-ending morals are a very useful summation of the message. Occasionally, I compile a list of my favorite morals from the past couple of years. Be my guest to share them!

-- Whatever you’re selling, you’re selling yourself first.

-- Don’t presume what you assume is correct.

-- If you live by a great value system, your life will have great value.

-- Accountability is the ability to accept responsibility.

-- You are only as happy as you decide to be.

-- To be a standout, you must stand for only your best.

-- Some of the best lessons we ever learned, we learned from our mistakes and failures.

-- A sense of humor is almost as important as our other five senses.

-- Be respectful or be regretful.

-- Don’t let excess stress get in the way of extreme success.

-- Teamwork divides the task and multiplies the success.

-- Even if you can’t achieve perfection, you should never stop trying.

-- Unhappiness always seeks to get. Happiness always seeks to give.

-- If you want to have the time of your life, make the most of your minutes.

-- Great brainstorms should produce plenty of en-lightning!

-- If you are persistent, you will get it. If you are consistent, you will keep it.

-- Clean up your act, or be prepared to clean out your desk.

-- Your job is always to make someone else's job easier.

-- You can’t buy confidence, but you can sell it!

-- Parents teach lessons even when they think no one is watching.

-- You are only one question away from success, if it’s the right question.

-- Negotiation is not just about winning. It’s about win-win.

-- A little hiccup won’t end your career, but be careful not to let it choke you.

-- Confidence is keeping your chin up. Overconfidence is sticking your neck out.

-- Optimists are people who make the best of it when they get the worst of it.

-- Persuasion is an art. The tongue can paint what the eye can’t see.

-- Talk is cheap, but misunderstandings can be costly.

-- Let curiosity turn “I don’t know” into “I want to find out.”

-- The biggest mistake you can make is pretending that you didn’t make one.

-- When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at often change.

-- When you talk to yourself, make sure you listen carefully.

-- Don’t let your fears get in your head -- get ahead of them.

-- Take control of your attitude before it takes control of you.

-- Don’t worry about what you could do if you lived your life over; get busy with what’s left.

-- A little spark can lead to a blazing success.

-- You don’t have to uproot the whole tree to turn over a new leaf.

-- Vision without action is a daydream. Action without vision is a nightmare.

-- Optimal customer service is not optional.

-- Don’t let your mood turn into your doom.

-- The hardest sale you'll ever make is to yourself. But once you're convinced you can do it, you can.

-- When life tests your mettle, nothing succeeds like an iron will.

-- Solving employee turnover is easier when they own a piece of the pie.

-- Selling isn’t rocket science -- it’s people science.

-- Humor is more than funny business.

-- The friendships you cultivate will help you grow.

-- It’s just as easy to look for the good things in life as the bad.

-- Make your stumbling blocks your stepping stones.

-- Admitting your own weaknesses is a sign of strength.

-- Hope is what allows us to remember yesterday’s disappointments and still look forward to tomorrow.

Mackay’s Moral: Don’t just make a living, make a life worth living.

life

The Miracles of Unselfishness

Harvey Mackay by by Harvey Mackay
by Harvey Mackay
Harvey Mackay | July 3rd, 2017

Steve Kerr, head coach of the Golden State Warriors, was asked the reason his team defeated LeBron James and the Cleveland Cavaliers for the 2017 NBA championship. He answered in one word: “Unselfish.”

The NBA Finals were a feast for basketball junkies like me. The excitement extended far beyond the games themselves. The players put on an exhibition that demonstrated the importance of sharing the glory.

When you have a championship-caliber team and then you add another superstar like Kevin Durant to the mix, you can either implode or you can win a championship. With all those NBA All-Stars on the court, there often aren’t enough basketballs to go around.

But there are for the Warriors. The team embraced its star newcomer with no jealousy. The team’s sole goal was to win a championship, which it did by sharing the ball.

It doesn’t hurt to have a winner like Steve Kerr leading you. As a college player, Kerr took his basketball team, the University of Arizona, to the NCAA Final Four. He won five NBA championships as a player, three with Michael Jordan and the Chicago Bulls and two with the San Antonio Spurs. Now he’s won two more as a coach.

As the old saying says so well: “It is amazing what you can accomplish if you don’t care who gets the credit.”

Being unselfish is also important in business. It’s one of the cornerstones of leadership -- the willingness to sacrifice for others. It’s putting the interests of the team ahead of your own personal needs and desires. Whether your business is basketball or ball bearings, the organizations that want to stay in business recognize that everyone has a role to play.

Steve Kerr is a master of this. He stood in the background as his players celebrated. He put his team first.

How many of us have worked with people who do a little of the work and want all the credit? But when there is a problem, they are the first to blame others.

Being unselfish runs counter to what many people think is important to getting ahead in business. You want to be noticed for your successes, even if others contributed to them. You don’t want your superstar image to be diminished by sharing the glory. But that is not a winning strategy. People much prefer to work with and for team players.

Charles William Eliot, who served as Harvard University president for 40 years, offered this wisdom: “Be unselfish. That is the first and final commandment for those who would be useful and happy in their usefulness. If you think of yourself only, you cannot develop because you are choking the source of development, which is spiritual expansion through thought for others.”

If you want to follow his advice, consider these traits of truly unselfish people:

-- They share the credit. In giving others recognition, they acknowledge the contributions made by co-workers and set the stage for future cooperation. They realize that setting a good example encourages others to appreciate the importance of teamwork.

-- They truly help others. When there are problems or setbacks, they look for ways to solve them rather than assessing blame. They are willing to share knowledge that will be useful down the road.

-- They have others’ best interests in mind. They see the benefits of making everyone on their team successful, and then do their best to help their co-workers improve. They understand that everyone is trying to get ahead and support their efforts.

-- They are trusted. They keep their word. They do what they say they will do. People working with them can trust not to be thrown under the bus when a project goes awry. Co-workers know they will be treated respectfully even when they disagree.

-- They are resilient. They can accept setbacks gracefully, and understand that sometimes the biggest failures can lead to the biggest successes. They don’t point fingers, instead pointing their colleagues back on track.

-- They welcome ideas and input from others. They realize that there is often more than one way to solve a problem, and that they do not always have all the answers. They aren’t threatened by other viewpoints. They keep their focus on achieving the goal, not on being right all the time.

Give these ideas some serious thought -- and you will be a champion in your own right.

Mackay’s Moral: It doesn’t take great people to do great things, just unselfish ones.

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