Failure can become a weight or it can give you wings.

That is the message I hear every spring when I attend the Horatio Alger Awards Ceremony in Washington, D.C., where 10 new members are inducted annually. I was honored to be one of them in 2004. During the short speeches given by new members to the audience, which includes more than 100 scholarship students, the message I hear over and over again is: Don’t be afraid to fail.

The Horatio Alger Association of Distinguished Americans is a nonprofit organization based in Alexandria, Virginia, that was founded in 1947 to honor the achievements of outstanding Americans who have succeeded despite adversity and to emphasize the importance of higher education. The association is named for Horatio Alger Jr., a 19th-century author of hundreds of stories in the "rags-to-riches" genre, extolling the importance of perseverance and hard work.

The association gives its annual award to people who exemplify its ideals. It also grants scholarships, and is one of the largest providers of need-based scholarships in the United States. All scholarships are funded by the generosity of Horatio Alger members and friends.

Among the more than 2,000 new scholarships it awards each year, the association presents its top scholarship, the National Scholarship, valued at $25,000, to more than 100 students from all 50 states, Washington, D.C., and Puerto Rico. National Scholarship recipients are also given an all-expenses-paid trip to Washington, D.C., where they meet association members, attend the Horatio Alger Awards Ceremony and learn about the federal government and the American free-enterprise system. Since the inception of its scholarship programs in 1984, the association has awarded more than $125 million in college scholarships to more than 25,000 young people.

Perhaps the most important lesson these young scholars learn is that failure is not fatal. They hear about pathways to success that include episodes of difficult times, the temptation to give up and the persistence to carry on. The members reinforce that failure is merely an opportunity to start over again, wiser than before.

Inspired by these real-life success stories, combined with scholarship help and an amazing ready-made network of resources, these young people have opportunities to earn college degrees and jump-start their professional aspirations. And they will have a clear understanding that failure is not the end of the road. It is potentially a new entrance ramp to the highway of life.

No one sets out to fail intentionally. Still, failure happens -- sometimes because of bad luck or uncontrollable circumstances, but other times from entirely preventable causes. Whatever your career goals or personal objectives are, your chances of avoiding failure will improve if you address these all-too-common errors:

-- Wasting time. Planning is essential, but too much planning can consume the energy you need to execute your plan effectively. Set clear deadlines. Be realistic, but ambitious.

-- Excluding people. You don’t have to like all your co-workers in order to effectively work with them. Don’t limit your partnerships and alliances to people who agree with you 100 percent. Be willing to bring in experts with different points of view, and listen to their opinions. You need honest feedback.

-- Fighting the wrong battles. You’ve got to know when sticking to your position is going to be worth the time and energy, and when to back down to conserve your resources for the next confrontation. You don’t have to succeed all the time to win in the end.

-- Ignoring the short term. Yes, you must think about an endpoint that’s far in the future, but don’t focus on it so intently that you forget to generate results in the meantime. You won’t have the chance to succeed in the long run if you fail in the short term, so look for some significant initial wins you can point to as evidence that you’re on the right track.

-- Playing it too safe. In order to succeed, you’ve got to be willing to fail. Take on a difficult project or an ambitious challenge. Don’t be reckless, but don’t shy away from hard work if you want your boss or your teammates to believe in you. No risk, no reward.

The heroes in Horatio Alger’s stories demonstrate that you can’t avoid setbacks and disappointments. As Robert F. Kennedy said, “Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly.”

Mackay’s Moral: Make your stumbling blocks your stepping stones.

Two hikers were camped out overnight in the mountains. A thunderous voice roused them from their sleep. The voice said, “This will be the saddest day or the happiest day of your lives.” It then instructed them to pack up their belongings, make their way to the river, gather stones in their backpacks that they couldn’t look at until morning, and continue their journey, never to return to the river or the mountain again.

The hikers did as they were instructed and stumbled through the darkness to the river. They stuffed their packs with cold, wet stones and carefully trekked down the rocky trails that would lead them away from the mountain.

Shortly after sunrise, they reached a valley and decided to set up camp to rest for a while. But first, they pulled out their packs to examine the stones they’d collected from the river. To their surprise, what they’d thought were river rocks were actually diamonds and rare gems. Both hikers sat in silence, overwhelmed by the bounty before them.

The first hiker said, “Now I know why this is the saddest day of our lives. We should’ve gathered more stones.”

“You must be kidding!” the second hiker said. “This is the happiest day of my life. Look at the wealth we attained by simply taking advantage of an opportunity that was offered to us.”

Therein lies the perfect example of the saying: “A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.”

Positive thinking alone may not ensure success, but it’s an important start. If you don’t believe in yourself, you’ll have a hard time persevering against the obstacles and setbacks you’re likely to encounter.

How you look at life can drastically affect how much you enjoy your life. Optimists expect the best out of life. Good news: It’s an attitude that can be learned.

Optimism is based on these tenets:

-- Bad things happen in life, but they are temporary.

-- Bad things in life are limited in scope.

-- People have control over their environments.

Pessimism is based on these tenets:

-- Good things in life are temporary.

-- Good things in life are limited in scope.

-- People have no control over their environments.

According to conventional wisdom, optimists and pessimists are both right about the same number of times, but optimists get to enjoy their lives more. Optimists help create some of the good they come to expect, so they are probably right more than not. And they don’t waste time worrying about what they’re not right about.

If you want to maintain the right attitude in the face of adversity, start by telling yourself you can change. Think of how you’ve changed throughout your life emotionally. You’re probably a different person today than you were five years ago, so don’t assume you can’t evolve further.

Use positive language. Replace words and phrases like “impossible” and “I can’t” with words that emphasize strength and success: “challenging” and “I must.”

Create the right environment. Listen to music that uplifts you. Watch inspirational movies and shows. Read motivational books. Don’t spend too much time on downbeat material. Mix it up, with a leaning toward the positive.

Appreciate your life. Take some time to enjoy what you’ve already achieved with your life. Think about what you did to get where you are, and use that as a reminder of your capabilities.

Let go of mistakes. You’re bound to fail at some things. Learn what you can and move on instead of beating yourself up over and over.

In the autumn of 1994, animated film studio Pixar was in trouble. According to “Likeonomics” by Rohit Bhargava, Pixar was deep in the red, due in part because its upcoming movie “Toy Story” was way over budget. Microsoft had expressed interest in buying the company to gain access to some of its 3-D graphic-design software. The deal fell through, and Pixar’s prospects were shaky in advance of the movie’s release.

That didn’t deter the team, though. As they were putting the finishing touches on “Toy Story,” the filmmakers met for lunch to discuss possible new projects.

The three ideas they came up with? “A Bug’s Life,” “Monsters Inc.” and “WALL-E,” all of which became blockbuster hits. Despite their financial uncertainty, the “creative types” retained their optimism about the future.

Do you suppose they ordered their eggs “sunny-side up”?

Mackay’s Moral: It’s just as easy to look for the good things in life as the bad.

When you offer criticism, be aware of whom you are criticizing, how you are delivering it and how they might receive it.

Case in point: A number of years ago, my son David was entering his senior year at Stanford University. He thought it might be fun to spend his last college summer freewheeling in San Francisco, working five or six shifts a week as a waiter. He figured he would earn enough money to really enjoy his leisure hours. He was pretty driven, and interviewed at a swanky brand-new restaurant called Stars, being opened by renowned chef Jeremiah Tower. It was scheduled to open three weeks later. Stars was a posh restaurant with a great location, catering to San Francisco’s elite.

David figured that what he lacked in experience, he could make up in enthusiasm and education. He got the job and started training a few days later surrounded by experienced, sophisticated servers twice his age with resumes at some of the best restaurants in the country. After three weeks of intensive training, the restaurant opened.

Things were going great and David was rewarded with generous tips. One night alone, he made more than a month’s rent. That same night, the headwaiter pointed out a classic service error to my son: failing to clear unused glassware. If someone wasn’t drinking wine or water, their glasses should be removed from the table. David told me this was like finding a needle in a haystack, considering that each place setting had three glasses even before anyone sat down -- add cocktails to that and a table of six would start out with 24 crystal glasses.

After the restaurant was open to the public for a week or so, my wife and I came to town and decided to check out the new restaurant and let David experience it from the other side, as a customer. He would have a chance to sample some of the food, assess the service and, in turn, become a better server himself.

My wife, Carol Ann, who has her master's in cooking and a doctorate in ordering, got the ball rolling with five questions regarding the menu selections. It seemed like we ordered almost everything on the menu. Carol Ann pointed out to us that the dressing on the salad was particularly oily, with much less vinegar than normal vinaigrette. Then when the entrees came, the food was not very hot. It was tepid at best. Everything was edible, but not spectacular. My veal stew was particularly bland.

The next day at work, David went right up to Jeremiah Tower and described the little experiment he’d done. First off, David asked him about the “oily salad dressing.” The chef explained that he thought that a heavy vinegar dressing was too hard on the palate, too early in the meal, so he created a dressing that was “soft on the palate.”

“Great, great!” David said, “This will be very helpful to know as a front waiter.”

As he turned to leave, David continued, “One more thing ... The food wasn’t very hot. Are you concerned that people might burn their tongues?”

“What?” exclaimed Tower. “The food should be piping hot, and it’s your job as a server to get it out there quickly!”

“Yes, sir, you got it. I will,” David said. So now he’s thinking he is two for two in valuable, practical observations.

The head chef again turned to leave, but David stopped him in his tracks. “Oh, one more thing. I wanted to talk to you about the veal stew ... I found it somewhat bland.” At this point, Tower looked David in the eye, then spun on his heels and marched into the kitchen.

David’s shift that night went well -- 20 percent in tips from seemingly very satisfied customers. At the end of the night, as he was tallying up his earnings, the headwaiter came up to him and mentioned that twice that evening he had failed to clear glassware. He was fired, effective immediately.

David was crushed. He had poured his heart into this job. As he was walking to the cable car, he heard a voice shout out his name. He turned around to see the headwaiter, jogging up to him. He looked upset and he quietly said, “David, it wasn’t the glassware. Next time, just be careful what you say to the head chef.”

Mackay’s Moral: Never tell a mother her baby is ugly.