life

FROM ANDREWS MCMEEL SYNDICATION

Harvey Mackay by by Harvey Mackay
by Harvey Mackay
Harvey Mackay | January 9th, 2017

The Necessity of Accurate Perspective

Perspective has many definitions, one being the ability to understand what is important and what isn't, and another being the capacity to view things in their true relations of relative importance.

Consider this excellent example of how differently people view the same subject in this ancient fable.

Four blind men were asked to examine an elephant and to describe its appearance.

The first blind man felt the elephant's leg and declared that the creature was like a tree.

The second blind man felt the elephant's enormous side and said that it was like a wall.

The third man felt the tail and was positive that the elephant was like a rope.

The fourth felt the tusk and likened it to a spear.

Each man's notion of reality was limited by the number and kind of attributes he had been able to perceive. Four different perspectives, four different conclusions. None of them had enough information to arrive at a reasonable answer. Acting on limited information is one of the biggest mistakes we can make.

Take, for example, the golf ball. For years, golf balls were smooth little orbs. But at some point, perhaps a golfer who couldn't afford to replace his golf balls when they got a little beat up kept playing with them long after his more skilled companions would have discarded them.

These more skilled players might have noticed that his drives always flew farther and more accurately than theirs, despite their superior skills. From their perspectives, that should not have happened given their superior experience. Their only explanation could be the nicks and dings on the golf balls.

You won't find a smooth golf ball in any pro shop now. In fact, modern golf balls have as many as 450 dimples. The rough spots enhance the ball's accuracy and capacity for flight.

I encourage you take advantage of the rough spots you encounter, for they can indeed sharpen your perspective as well as your performance.

Those rough spots often force us to look at other options, to see things from another perspective. They upset the status quo. They challenge our tunnel vision and open new doors and windows. In many ways, they are a blessing in disguise.

As hard as that may be to believe, trust me. I've had to revise my perspective many times over my lifetime. It got easier every time as I realized that what I was doing wasn't working, and maybe I needed to adjust my approach. When I widened my perspective, solutions seemed to fall into place.

Professional development coach Rich Gee offers two exercises to get started on the next step in your life or career. What I like about his advice is that it encourages you to get a fresh perspective on your situation.

First, he says, explain where you are right now compared to where you were five years ago. Tell your past self what to expect, both good and bad. He says this will help you gain insight into what you could have done differently that may help influence your future decisions. Looking back, you will realize that you can survive just about anything that comes your way.

Next, look to your future. Imagine that you are talking to a version of yourself five years from now. Think about where you want to be and what advice you might give yourself. This exercise will help you form a positive vision to work toward your personal and professional goals from a new perspective. George Bernard Shaw, the famous playwright and critic, was a popular philosopher in the early 20th century. Here are some of his thoughts on the necessity of perspective, as cited by Charles Francis in his collection "Wisdom Well Said":

"If a man sees with only one eye, the world appears flat to him, objects and people become mere two-dimensional images. And he cannot discern any meaning in life beyond the crassness of superficial existence.

"If he uses both eyes, he gains perspective and can perceive a third dimension of depth, ideas and activities assume relative importance and value, and he understands that there is no more than one way of living.

"How deep his understanding and how acute his perception, then, if he sees through four or six or seven different eyes, each distinct and yet each focused on the same situation and the same conflict."

Mackay's Moral: When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at often change.

life

The Power of the Voice

Harvey Mackay by by Harvey Mackay
by Harvey Mackay
Harvey Mackay | January 2nd, 2017

When I was embarking on my "second career," public speaking, I had a little experience under my belt -- member of a Toastmasters group, graduate of Dale Carnegie and a long list of speeches I'd made to community groups and on behalf of various causes like getting a stadium built.

Sometimes, I would speak several times in a day, trying to reach as many groups as possible. My message was often only as good as my voice.

So I did what I always do when I know I can do better: I went out and hired a public speaking coach. As it turns out, the fellow I have been working with is more than a coach. He is just a few ticks shy of being a miracle worker.

I'm talking about Roger Love, who has coached speakers, singers, internet marketers and plenty of folks who understand the power of the voice and the impact it has on careers. His updated version of "Set Your Voice Free," first published in 1999, presents material that helps readers "showcase the best of yourself -- your talents, your passion, your originality, your authenticity."

I was quite fascinated by the anatomy lessons that form the basis of Roger's research and teaching. When you know how your voice works from the inside out and how to best take care of it, your attitude will change. As Roger says, "The human voice is set up to speak or sing 24 hours a day without getting hoarse or strained or creating any physical problems."

That information was especially helpful to me, because my voice is my living. Whether I am delivering a speech, making a sales call, making contacts for charitable or community causes or mentoring future entrepreneurs, my voice needs to be strong and convincing.

He helped Reese Witherspoon and Jeff Bridges find their singing voices when they were preparing for movie roles that required them to stretch their limits. He worked with John Mayer and Gwen Stefani to expand their ranges and keep their voices in top shape despite demanding performance schedules.

Roger's techniques are clearly explained in his book, which makes it simple to practice them on your own. He says, "If you know how to control the pitch, pace, tone, volume and melody of your voice, you can consciously use them to guide the emotions of your listeners and magnify the impact of every communication you have."

He acknowledges that great speaking and singing are not about being the best, but about being unique. "It's about expressing who you are and what's particularly special about you," he says. "If you learn to use your own instrument with confidence, people will open their ears to you and recognize what sets you apart from everyone else."

This updated edition includes techniques he has developed to help people with speech disorders such as stuttering and spasmodic dysphonia.

"True artistry in speaking comes from creating a convincing blend of three elements: what you say, the way you say it and who you are," Roger says.

The real take-home for me is that how I use my voice is nearly as important as my message. We learn how to talk at a very young age, and I suppose we figure out soon after which cute little voices will help us get our way. But through years of school and career, are we really using our voices to generate the best effects?

Roger discusses four key feelings you need to evoke in people to make them like and believe you: happiness, gratefulness, passion and confidence. But his explanations take readers beyond typical descriptions of these emotions. Learning how to project these key feelings will have marked effects on how your message is received.

The impetus for updating his masterwork now is the result of an interesting observation: The advent of television singing competitions and videos that go viral have "changed the landscape for singers, offering them new opportunities ... and opening the public's imagination to the possibilities of where our voices can be."

Coincidentally, he credits the revolution to "The Voice," the television competition that asked its judges to do blind auditions, facing away from the contestants while they sang. The voice alone did the selling, he said. "All of us realized that no matter what you look like, no matter what your age or background, if you can create the right sounds, people will see beauty, kindness, intelligence and uniqueness in you."

Mackay's Moral: How you use your voice speaks volumes about you.

life

Coach Cal's Rules of the Game

Harvey Mackay by by Harvey Mackay
by Harvey Mackay
Harvey Mackay | December 26th, 2016

My definition of success is having a predetermined plan, successfully carrying it out over a long period of time and having a good time doing it.

That's what John Calipari does as the men's basketball coach at the University of Kentucky. Coach Cal is able to recruit the country's top high-school talent with this simple message: "Commit to each other, be about each other without sacrificing your goals and by doing this you can achieve all your dreams and more."

Because many of his players are one and done -- meaning they leave for the pros after their freshman season -- Coach Cal views each new team like a start-up business, as the constant flow of new players brings new relationships and new challenges. His job is to mold them into championship material when the season comes to an end in the spring.

I read Coach Cal's new book, "Success Is the Only Option: The Art of Coaching Extreme Talent," and discovered that it contains lessons for CEOs, business owners, coaches, teachers and leaders of all kinds.

First, you have to assemble the talent, as Coach Cal writes: "Talent matters. There's no way around it. But the gold standard is to get your talented team to play with desperation." He says that he looks for players who have a purpose.

"I always ask my players: What's your why? Why do you want to have success? Is it just for fame and fortune, and if you attained that, who would it be for? ... What's driving them forward is a cause bigger than their own self-interest."

When I was building my envelope manufacturing company, I looked for employees who embraced TGIM -- Thank God It's Monday. I wanted people who were excited to come to work.

Similarly, Coach Cal writes: "When I'm recruiting, I'm looking for a kid who's alive. He's got a bounce in his step. A smile on his face. Love for his teammates." He mentions a former player who "came into the gym every day like it was Christmas morning."

Passion and persistence are common themes at the top of the list of skills you need to excel, whether you're in sales, playing basketball or any other profession. There simply is no substitute. If you don't have an intense, burning desire for what you are doing, there's no way you'll be able to work the long, hard hours it takes to become successful.

Calipari looks for an athlete's spirit and appetite for work. He wants players who have a pure love of the game and a fierce will to get better, plus the right physical attributes.

"You have to learn to love the grind," Calipari writes. "Loving the grind and feeling fulfilled at the end of a hard day should be part of the culture that extreme talent embraces."

Another important business principle that Coach Cal touches on is trust. He writes, "For a coach, there is nothing more unsettling than having a point guard you can't trust."

To me, trust is the most important word in business. Trust is central to doing business with anyone. Without it, you have another word that begins with T: Trouble.

Coach Cal also touches on self-confidence, which I believe is extremely important in almost every aspect of our lives. Confidence enables you to perform to the best of your abilities, without the fear of failure holding you back.

He talks about "red flags," starting with disrespect. When he is recruiting someone, he takes note of how the player treats family members. If he shows any disrespect, Coach Cal moves on.

I've found that treating people with respect begins at the top of an organization. Senior managers set the stage by treating each other and their subordinates with respect. Be respectful or be regretful.

Another red flag is playing the blame game. We live in a rampant culture of blaming others for our problems. "Truly owning up to our mistakes is a learned behavior, a part of growing up," writes Calipari.

Finally, Coach Cal talks about creating joy. "From the moment my players arrive, we talk about the concept of how we create joy in our lives. True joy, I tell them, comes from being a giver. On the court, among their teammates, when they are off the court and out in the world, I want every one of them to be a person who lifts up others."

Mackay's Moral: Success is not just the only option; it's the best option.

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