life

The Important Things in Life Aren't Things

Harvey Mackay by by Harvey Mackay
by Harvey Mackay
Harvey Mackay | October 17th, 2016

Because I have a birthday coming up, I get plenty of ribbing about getting older from my peers. (For the record, I usually reciprocate.)

But one of my closest friends recently forwarded an email that took a more serious view of life. It said: "Available for a limited time only. Limit one per person. Subject to change without notice. Provided 'as is' and without any warranties. Nontransferable and is the sole responsibility of the recipient. May incur damages arising from use or misuse. Additional parts sold separately. Your mileage may vary. Subject to all applicable fees and taxes. Terms and conditions apply. Other restrictions apply."

I had to read and reread this several times. This got me thinking about how fragile life is. I usually don't pass along messages about personal feelings, but this email really resonated with me.

What does this have to do with business? Nothing -- and everything. As the saying goes, "Don't spend so much time making a living that you forget to make a life."

Sometimes, what we care about the most gets all used up and goes away. So while we have it, we should love it, care for it, fix it when it's broken and heal it when it's sick. This is true for marriage, children with bad report cards, aging parents and grandparents, co-workers and anyone close to us. We keep them because they are worth it, because we are worth it.

Life is important, just like the people we know who are special. Do your friends know you care about them? Maybe it's time to let them know how you feel.

When things get tough, are you the kind of person who starts complaining? If you are, you might want to stop and take note of the things in your life that are good, instead of focusing on the things that seem to be going wrong. It's easy to fall into whining. But it can become a bad habit if you don't take stock of the good things in your life once in a while.

The trick is to not take things for granted, and though that sounds simple, people often cannot master this way of thinking. Sometimes this arises from the idea that life owes us better than we are receiving. Sometimes it arises from habits we have mindlessly picked up from other people. But whining and complaining won't likely change your situation or your feelings. When you are stricken by the poor-little-me blues, you can rescue yourself by trying some of the tactics I use:

-- Stop and smell the roses. My sister, Margie, is always telling me this. Take some time out to acknowledge the good things in life. Take the day off and go to the zoo, take a bike ride or a walk to enjoy the beauty of nature.

-- Get up and do something for someone else. If you are lying around your house ruminating about your problems, one of the best ways to get back on track is to find a way to help someone who needs it. Volunteer at a food bank, cook dinner for an ailing neighbor or just give a stranger on the street $5. The point is to change your focus and do something good for another person. These types of activities can radically change your mood.

-- Talk about the good things in life. Even if it feels awkward or even silly, say something positive. Break through the barrier of negativity that you are trapped in. Fake it if you have to, but force yourself to say something positive at least once a day for a week. You likely will be surprised by the power of your thoughts and words on your mood.

One of my favorite "Peanuts" cartoons featured Charlie Brown saying, "I learned something at school today. I signed up for folk guitar, computer programming, stained glass, art, shoemaking and a natural foods workshop.

"Instead, I got spelling, history, arithmetic and two study periods."

Charlie's friend asks, "So what did you learn?"

"I learned that what you sign up for in life and what you get are two different things."

Mackay's Moral: Don't worry about what you could do if you lived your life over; get busy with what's left.

life

Can't Stop, Won't Stop: The Power of Persistence

Harvey Mackay by by Harvey Mackay
by Harvey Mackay
Harvey Mackay | October 10th, 2016

A poor boy named Harlan with only a sixth-grade education wouldn't have made anyone's list of the most likely to succeed. His first major success came at the age of 39, when he was able to come up with the financing to open a small-town gas station and restaurant.

He did pretty well, but with the onset of World War II, Harlan's once-solid customer base left the small town to enlist in the military or take factory jobs in the city. He managed to hold on until a new interstate highway eliminated his drive-by trade. Then, after nearly 30 years in business, Harlan was forced to sell his business to pay off his debts.

Almost broke and approaching age 70, Harlan could have walked away from his dreams. Instead, he hit the road, offering to share his pressure-cooking techniques with other restaurant owners if they'd agree to become his franchises. He sold only five in the first two years, but he stuck it out.

Four years later, Col. Sanders had sold more than 600 Kentucky Fried Chicken franchises. And by the time Harlan Sanders died at age 90 in 1980, KFC was a worldwide brand. Today, KFC is the world's second-largest restaurant chain (measured by sales) after McDonald's, with thousands of stores around the world.

Persistence is one of the traits I look for in hiring any new employee, especially a sales rep. There is no substitute.

I remember when I was first starting out as an envelope salesman and asked an experienced colleague I respected how many calls he would make on a prospect before giving up. He said, "It depends on which one of us dies first."

When giving up is not an option, you have to find ways to maintain your motivation. Give yourself a pep talk, and then roll up your sleeves and look for the next reasonable steps you need to take. Do you need more education? Do you need more staff? Do you need to tweak your idea to make it more attractive to potential clients? Do you need to channel your efforts in a completely different direction?

Bob Nelson, author of "1001 Ways to Take Initiative at Work," says it's best to focus on what you can accomplish rather than on what you can't. This will help you stay positive. Use your energy to work toward a goal, rather than wasting it butting up against an obstacle, he suggests.

If you identify a roadblock to your goal, develop a plan to address whatever is in your way. Be patient; remember Col. Sanders' example. Success may be elusive at first, but give it time.

Some of Ross' other pointers include finding ways to make it easy, even desirable, for your colleagues to say yes to your requests. When you give co-workers options, they should be able to choose how they can best help you.

Be assertive, but not aggressive. Always be polite, but don't give up on your direction in order to be liked. If you believe in what you are doing, you need to be able to stand firm when naysayers try to shoot down your plans.

A prime example of shooting down plans came when the early space explorers were trying to send rockets up into the great unknown. One of America's space pioneers was a physicist named Robert Goddard. His story is one of unwavering persistence in the face of "learned" skepticism.

Professor Goddard helped launch the Space Age by experimenting with a 10-foot rocket in a New England cabbage field. His belief in rocketry as a viable technology for flight was met with great cynicism. Even The New York Times dismissed his plans in a 1920 editorial.

Yet Goddard persevered until he proved his firm belief that rocket engines can create thrust in a vacuum. Two of his 214 patented inventions -- a multistage rocket and a liquid-fuel rocket (both patented in 1914) -- were important milestones toward spaceflight.

The theory was proved 40 years later by other space pioneers who did indeed reach extreme altitudes. Years after his death, at the dawn of the Space Age, Goddard came to be recognized as the founding father of modern rocketry.

Unless you are Robert Goddard, persistence is not rocket science. If you are willing to stick with it, you can take your ideas to the moon!

Mackay's Moral: When you feel like giving up, remember why you held on for so long in the first place.

life

Gossip Has No Place in the Office

Harvey Mackay by by Harvey Mackay
by Harvey Mackay
Harvey Mackay | October 3rd, 2016

Four psychiatrists shared a hotel suite at a convention. Talking one night, one of them said, "You know, people are always telling us their troubles, but we have no one to talk to about our problems."

Another psychiatrist agreed. "Let's tell each other our biggest problems and see if that makes us feel better. I'll start. I confess that sometimes I want to laugh at my patients for being so naive."

The second one said, "My problem is that I'm usually drunk when I see my patients, and half the time I can't follow what they're saying, so I just nod and say, 'Go on.'"

The third psychiatrist admitted, "I overcharge my patients so I can afford my big house, my fancy car and my vices."

The last one said, "My biggest problem is that I can't keep a secret."

And who wouldn't be tempted to share those juicy tidbits? Well, if you want to be successful, the wisest action would be to forget you ever heard them, and never repeat one syllable of those confessions. But we live in an imperfect world where gossip is often the only form of conversation that some people seem able to conduct.

Gossip has replaced news in many media. It's big business. Outlets like TMZ and celebrity gossip programs get huge ratings. Social media has made the truth a rare commodity, as people can share harmful gossip and rumors in an instant from anywhere in the world. And the truth gets lost in the whirlwind.

The gossip business may be red-hot, but office gossip is mostly bad for business. The workplace should be a no-gossip zone. But when it is not, consequences include lost productivity and wasted time, erosion of trust and morale, damaged reputations, dissension among employees and even the loss of good employees who leave companies due to unhealthy work environments.

Gossip and rumors have been part of the workplace culture since ancient Egypt. Although a certain amount of personal chitchat goes on in any workplace, gossiping employees can erode trust among co-workers and infect a team with hostility.

Before rumors gain a foothold in your organization, take some proactive steps.

Make sure your general company communications are efficient and as complete as possible. Employees will believe rumors if they don't have access to facts. Even in tough times, give your people as much information as you can so they can rely on solid data, not half-truths. If you can't share news, explain why, so you don't appear to be hiding anything.

Always confront rumors directly. If you catch wind of an untrue rumor, address it promptly. Go to the source and set him or her straight, explaining the damage that false information can cause. Clear up any confusion with your entire workforce right away. They may think twice about spreading or believing rumors if they know you're ready to step in.

Set the right example. Don't listen to gossip that comes your way. Either correct any misinformation immediately, or explain that you're not interested in rumors. Don't pass along any unsubstantiated stories yourself. Let the gossip stop with you. If people persist in spreading rumors, suggest that they need more work to do.

Sometimes the harm that gossip inflicts is irrevocable. It is critical to nip it in the bud.

Perhaps you are familiar with this Hasidic folktale: For months, a man slandered the rabbi of his village. When the High Holy Days approached, the man realized the enormous evil he had committed and, overcome with remorse, sought out the rabbi and begged for forgiveness.

The rabbi told the man he would forgive him on one condition: that he go back to his house, cut up a feather pillow, scatter the feathers to the wind and then return. The man raced home, followed the rabbi's instructions and returned to the rabbi's residence.

"Am I forgiven now?" he asked.

"One more thing," the rabbi answered. "Now I want you to go out and gather up all the feathers."

"But that's impossible," the man said. "They are scattered everywhere."

"Precisely," said the rabbi. "And though you truly wish to correct the evil you have done, it's just as impossible to repair the damage done by your words as it is to recover the feathers."

Mackay's Moral: People who gossip are usually caught in their own mouth traps.

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