life

Self-Talk the Talk to Walk the Walk

Harvey Mackay by by Harvey Mackay
by Harvey Mackay
Harvey Mackay | August 15th, 2016

There once was a strange storekeeper who talked to himself. He talked to himself while he rang up groceries. He talked to himself whenever he leaned into the candy case for the children who wanted to purchase a treat.

One day, a woman named Francie came in and watched the storekeeper talking to himself.

"What's wrong with you?" asked Francie.

"Ain't nothing wrong with me," answered the storekeeper.

"Well, then, why are you going around acting like a fool and talking to yourself?" probed Francie.

"I reckon I got two reasons," said the storekeeper. "First off, I like to talk to a sensible person. And second, I like to hear a sensible person talk."

Now I don't recommend going around talking out loud to yourself in public, but I do recommend talking to yourself.

During most of my corporate speeches, I ask the audience, How many people talk to themselves? People are uneasy acknowledging this, but I do typically get about a third of the room to raise their hands. Then I say, "To the two-thirds of you who didn't raise your hands, I can just hear you say to yourself: 'Who me? I don't talk to myself.'" It always gets a good laugh.

But the point is, I want you to talk to yourself. Self-talk can have a great impact on your confidence. It can be positive or negative, and have a great effect on how you feel. Obviously, I want to focus on the positive self-talk.

Some of the smartest people in history have talked to themselves. Albert Einstein talked to himself. According to Einstein.org, he "used to repeat his sentences to himself softly." If it worked for Einstein, it's good enough for me.

Talking to yourself makes your brain work more efficiently. It boosts your memory, organizes your thoughts and helps you to achieve your goals.

In a study printed in the Quarterly Journal of Experimental Psychology, psychologists Daniel Swingley and Gary Lupyan discovered that talking to yourself is beneficial. Swingley and Lupyan found that allowing people to repeat an object's name to themselves helped them find the object in a crowded tableau.

Can I ever relate to that research! Whenever I make a to-do list or plan my day, I make sure I not only write it down, but also say it out loud. Use as many triggers as you can to help you remember or to reinforce your message.

Let me give you another important reason to "think out loud." You are your own best and toughest critic -- and most enthusiastic cheerleader. You serve two significant roles. You can assess your abilities and chances for success because you can be brutally honest with yourself.

So when you talk to yourself, you will know the difference between true potential and flattery, commitment and apathy. You can only fool yourself so long. In your heart of hearts, you know what you can and cannot do.

In her book "Recreating Yourself," Nancy J. Napier discusses self-talk: "It is the dialogue you have with yourself about who you are, what you are doing, how well you're doing, whether you're good enough, what people think of you and so on." Your self-talk is a reflection of what you took in about yourself as a child, "particularly those things that were reinforced time and again."

Napier says that in cognitive therapy, identifying negative self-talk and challenging it can bring about positive change. You question the assumptions underlying the statements. Napier uses this example: "Joe stood me up for a date last night. I guess I'm not attractive enough to get the man I want."

Once you become aware of what you are telling yourself, Napier suggests you replace the statement with a positive statement. "Yes, Joe did stand me up. I guess that's reason enough to realize that Joe isn't the kind of guy I want to have around."

I will never stop talking to myself. After all, I have a captive audience.

Mackay's Moral: When you talk to yourself, make sure you listen carefully.

life

Swimming With Sharks Outside of the Tank

Harvey Mackay by by Harvey Mackay
by Harvey Mackay
Harvey Mackay | August 8th, 2016

While I was perusing the business section in a bookstore recently, I was immediately attracted to one with "shark" in the title. I am referring to Robert Herjavec's new book, "You Don't Have to Be a Shark: Creating Your Own Success." Robert is one of the stars of the popular TV show "Shark Tank."

As the author of the book "Swim With the Sharks Without Being Eaten Alive," I take great delight in anyone who reintroduces sharks back into our lexicon. I originally wrote "Swim With the Sharks" back in 1988, and then updated it with new material in 2005.

Robert has wonderful advice in his book. I rather enjoyed reading it because I couldn't help but notice some of the similarities in our ways of thinking. I highly recommend it for folks from all walks of life.

Robert has said, "A goal without a timeline is just a dream." I phrase it a little differently: "A goal is a dream with a deadline." Goals must be measurable, identifiable, attainable, specific and in writing. Winners set and achieve goals; losers make excuses. Goals give you more than a reason to get up in the morning; they are an incentive to keep you going all day.

Robert also notes: "Sales are the beginning of everything that business strives to achieve." I am firm in my belief that there are no jobs unless someone brings the business through the front door. Many people think "sales" is a negative word, but we have no jobs without sales. Sales provide the lifeblood of any business.

The second chapter of Robert's book is titled "Everyone Is Selling Somebody Something." My version: "Everyone is in sales." Why? Because from the moment we get up in the morning until we go to bed, what are we doing all day? We are selling ideas, communicating, negotiating, persuading and influencing.

The fourth chapter is all about the art of selling. Robert makes the point that the "story does not end with a sale." The way I put it is "The sale begins when the customer says yes." In other words, you have to service the account and make sure that you get the reorder. There are plenty of sharks out there working to take your business.

Robert is absolutely correct when he observes, "Salespeople enjoy the company of people." I like to say, "You must be a people person," because people buy from other people because of likability, chemistry and people skills.

And this piece of his advice is solid gold: "Salespeople spend more time listening than talking." I constantly remind people "Many people hear, but very few actually listen." You don't learn anything if you are doing all the talking. When you talk, you repeat what you already know. When you listen, you often learn something. Being a good listener can make or break a career.

Robert makes the following point: "Good salespeople learn everything possible about buyers and their interests ... And good salespeople work at building relationships." The most important lesson in "Swim With the Sharks" is "People don't care how much you know about them, once they realize how much you care about them." This describes my Mackay 66 Customer Profile, which is the cornerstone of all my speeches. You can find a copy of the Mackay 66 on my website, harveymackay.com.

You have to learn as much about your customers and suppliers as you possibly can, because you can't talk about business all the time. You have to build those relationships and take it from a business level to a personal level. Knowing something about your customer is just as important as knowing everything about your product.

Salespeople, Robert writes, "visualize their success." This is so true. I believe that visualization is one of the most powerful means of achieving personal goals. The ability to project is a common trait among all great athletes and business people. Such high achievers have future vision. Success is no surprise to visionary people. They know what they want, determine a plan to achieve it and expect positive results.

Visualization allows you to see your ideal tomorrow. It gives you a real idea of what is possible, if only you want it bad enough.

Take it from one who has spent a career swimming with sharks: Robert Herjavec's advice will keep you from becoming shark bait.

Mackay's Moral: You'd better be a great "sale-r" to get through shark-infested waters.

life

Success Means Being In It for the Long Haul

Harvey Mackay by by Harvey Mackay
by Harvey Mackay
Harvey Mackay | August 1st, 2016

Watching the Olympic trials for long-distance-running events, I was again struck by how little margin there is for error in making the U.S. team. Athletes who had trained for years lost by fractions of seconds. The winners go to Rio for the Summer Olympics, and the losers go home heartbroken.

Individual sports like long-distance running are especially tough because runners are on their own. They are not playing as a team. They must have tremendous desire, determination, dedication and discipline, notwithstanding commitment, enthusiasm and mental toughness. They have to set goals and prepare. It's the same in business.

To become a winning athlete or businessperson, you must be a hungry fighter -- hungry for success, hungry for victory and hungry to simply be the best. A coach can show you what to do, how to practice and how often, and offer motivational tips. But the bottom line is that it is up to you. Sometimes, desire is more important than talent. You must want to succeed more than anything. And sometimes even that is not enough, as the Olympic trials proved.

I'm as competitive as anyone. Close friends might even say more. But I've always approached life with the desire to do the best I can. If I do that, I'm usually satisfied.

I ran my first marathon after my 50th birthday. I've run nine more since then, for a total of five New York marathons, four Twin Cities marathons and the 100th Boston marathon. I've also completed three half-marathons in the last three years. I'm proud of these accomplishments, not because I ever came close to earning a spot on the Olympic team or even winning the race. I was just happy that I finished, did the best that I could do and left it all out on the course.

For amateur runners like me, the key to running a marathon is that it is not so much a physical challenge as a mental one. Your body does not want you to run a marathon. Your mind must make you do it. Therefore, you have to develop a rationale so powerful, a determination so strong, that it will enable your mind to overcome the vigorous protests of your body.

The important thing is that you start off on the right foot, if you'll pardon the pun. Preparation is the difference between dropping out of the race and finishing it.

Bill Rodgers, winner of four Boston and four New York marathons, said, "To be a consistent winner means preparing not just one day, one month, or even one year -- but for a lifetime."

To run a marathon is to practice a form of self-discipline based entirely on visualization. You must imagine yourself doing the impossible. And that enables you to do it. Time? It's not always important. Anyone who finishes has won. They have beaten the competition -- themselves.

There is only one thing runners really compete against: It is the little voice inside us that grows louder and says, "Stop." It is, unfortunately, a familiar sound. We hear it all our lives -- at work, at school, in all areas of our lives. It tells us we cannot succeed. We cannot finish. The boss expects too much. The company is too demanding. The homework assignment takes too long. My family is too unappreciative.

The truth is that many successful people are no more talented than unsuccessful people. The difference between them lies in the old axiom that successful people do those things that unsuccessful people don't like to do.

Successful people have the determination, the will, the focus and the drive to complete the tough jobs. When I am hiring employees, I must admit that I take a longer look at resumes that include experiences demonstrating the kind of commitment required of runners.

Running may not be your thing, but all of us have to earn a living one way or another. The majority will work anywhere from 35 to 45 years. The average person will have three to five career changes and perhaps 10 jobs before their 40th birthday.

Statistics like these make a foot race pale in comparison to the treadmill so many workers must master just to bring home a paycheck. Good training and the right mental preparation will help you find a job you love, one that challenges you and satisfies you and makes you want to get back in the race every day.

Mackay's Moral: Dedication and commitment are what will carry you through the long run.

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