life

The Necessity of Persuasion

Harvey Mackay by by Harvey Mackay
by Harvey Mackay
Harvey Mackay | March 14th, 2016

We are in the thick of the most unusual political seasons I can remember. Who would have imagined the slate of presidential hopefuls that spans the spectrum? And what will it take for the candidates to convince voters that they should lead the country?

Qualifications? Sure. Campaign promises? Perhaps. Appearance? Doesn't hurt. The best opposition research? Not necessarily.

But the one factor that will always make the difference? Persuasion -- the same sales skill that sets the successful apart from the competition.

Simply said, it doesn't matter who has the best ideas or the most workable plans or the nicest smile. It all comes down to persuasion. Who can get their point across and bring others over to their side? They could all take a lesson from my favorite president, Abraham Lincoln.

One of Lincoln's most valuable skills was his ability to persuade others to his point of view, no matter how entrenched their position. Lincoln described the art of persuasion in an 1842 speech to the Springfield Washington Temperance Society:

"When the conduct of men is designed to be influenced, persuasion, kind, unassuming persuasion, should ever be adopted. ... If you would win a man to your cause, first convince him that you are his sincere friend. Therein a drop of honey that catches his heart, which, say what he will, is the great high road to his reason, and which, when once granted, you will find but little trouble in convincing his judgment of the justice of your cause, if indeed that cause really be a just one.

"On the contrary, assume to dictate to his judgment, or to command his action, or to mark him as one to be shunned and despised, and he will retreat within himself, close all the avenues to his head and his heart; and though your cause be naked truth itself ... you shall no more be able to reach him than to penetrate the hard shell of a tortoise with a rye straw."

An eloquent argument, for sure, and it is timeless advice. You can bully your way into power, but your effectiveness is greatly reduced. Lincoln understood that you must demonstrate respect for the other party or your efforts will be wasted.

Here are some persuasion techniques that have served me well.

-- Speak their language. Listen to how people express themselves. Acknowledge their concerns and use the same language to respond to them to let them know you hear their concerns. It will help them accept your point more readily.

-- Use their names. What's the sweetest sound in the world? Your name on someone else's lips. Just don't overdo it. For a new acquaintance, make sure you're pronouncing it right, and don't use it before you've established some sort of rapport.

-- Use action words. Be direct. You've got to ask for the response you want. Don't ask someone to try to do something or to think about doing it if you need an immediate response. But if you are negotiating for the longer term, give them time to think about your request so they don't feel pressured.

-- Get your foot in the door. You don't have to lead off with your main point. First get the other person's attention, and then apply some persuasive techniques -- offering an additional benefit, changing your request to what you really want, or letting him or her turn you down now while leaving the door open to agree with you later.

Two key words will make you more persuasive, according to Jerald M. Jellison in his book "Overcoming Resistance." Those words are "if" and "then." Whether you are trying to sell a car or an idea, the message that works is: "If you will take this action, then you'll get this reward."

Let me phrase that another way: If you want to be persuasive, then don't be evasive.

Mackay's Moral: Persuasion is an art. The tongue can paint what the eye can't see.

life

You Can't Get Out What You Don't Put In

Harvey Mackay by by Harvey Mackay
by Harvey Mackay
Harvey Mackay | March 7th, 2016

My friend the motivational speaker Zig Ziglar liked to tell the story of his friend Walter Hailey. Although he became a star salesman, Hailey's early career in insurance sales was rough. He endured frustration, anxiety, slammed doors, low sales figures and uncertainty about his future.

One day he grew so discouraged that he went to his boss and told him that he was going to quit. His boss's response? "You can't."

Hailey repeated that he was quitting. The manager repeated, "You can't."

Angry now, Hailey shouted, "Yes, I can!"

His manager replied, "Walter, you can't get out of the insurance business because you have never really gotten into the insurance business."

The words hit Hailey like a ton of bricks. For the first time in his life he realized that you can't get something out of an endeavor if you never put anything into it. Or as Zig put it, "There are many people who 'join' a sales organization but never get into the business of selling."

As the job market has fluctuated over the last decade, attitudes toward work have changed too. People who have jobs they love consider themselves lucky. But studies have found that up to 70 percent of workers indicated a dislike for their jobs. That's unbelievable! Do you think their hearts are in their work?

Or do you suppose they could find something in that job that would inspire them to do their best?

Harry S Truman was a no-nonsense U.S. president whose attitude toward life was summed up in this sentence: "I found that the men and women who got to the top were those who did the jobs they had in hand, with everything they had of energy and enthusiasm and hard work."

Will Rogers had plenty of witty sayings, but my favorite was what he said about success: "In order to succeed, you must know what you are doing, like what you are doing, and believe in what you are doing."

Let's dig a little deeper into that wisdom.

Know what you are doing. Winners prepare, apply themselves and work to become the best at what they do. They are willing to do what others refuse to do. They have a grasp of the situation and the challenges involved. They make the necessary adjustments and learn the important skills.

Like what you are doing. The bottom line is not doing what you like, but liking what you do. There are good and bad parts of every job, and if the good doesn't outweigh the bad, you are in the wrong job. Most organizations do not have tailor-made jobs designed for specific preferences. They have jobs that need to be done, and need committed people who are willing to do their level best to be successful.

Believe in what you do. Forget the job description, the title and the salary. Focus on what you can accomplish. Trust me, an employer can easily tell the difference between the workers who are there for something to do and those who are there to really do something.

Everyone has to start somewhere. Remember, your first job was probably not your dream job. Maybe your second job wasn't either. But the lessons you learned early on were invaluable in terms of seeing how the world works. Keep learning! The only limit to success is the amount of effort you are willing to invest.

One of my mentors, Curt Carlson, who founded Carlson Companies (now known simply as Carlson), used to tell me: "You work the first five days of the week to keep up with the competition. It's on Saturdays and Sundays that you get ahead of them."

That attitude was not unique to Curt Carlson. I met the son of Kemmons Wilson, founder of Holiday Inn, some years ago, and he shared this story with me about his father. Kemmons Wilson never finished high school, yet his high school later invited him to give the commencement address.

He got up in front of the students and said: "I really don't know why I'm here. I never got a diploma, and I've only worked half-days my entire life. I guess my advice to you is to do the same. Work half-days every day. And it doesn't matter which half ... the first 12 hours or the second 12 hours."

Mackay's Moral: There are many formulas for success -- but none of them work unless you do.

life

The Power and Possibility of Charisma

Harvey Mackay by by Harvey Mackay
by Harvey Mackay
Harvey Mackay | February 29th, 2016

Some people walk into a room and all heads turn. When they begin to speak, people are mesmerized. They instantly gain respect and trust. In a word, they have charisma, one of the most desirable and enviable qualities in the world.

What is charisma? It's hard to define, but it is many things, including likability. If you want to influence people, they must like you and respect you. But charisma is so much more. I believe the definition is found in the letters of the word itself.

Confidence -- Confidence doesn't come naturally to most people. Even the most successful have struggled with it in their careers. The good news is that you can develop confidence, just like any muscle or character trait, if you're willing to work hard. Charismatic people believe in themselves, and share that confidence with the people around them. We want to follow leaders who believe they (and we) can do anything. Don't ignore obstacles, but focus on what you can achieve.

Happiness -- I believe we were born to be happy. The happiest people I know are not the richest or the most attractive or even the best at what they do. The happiest people are those who discover that what they should be doing and what they are doing are the same things. True happiness lies in satisfaction, which is an essential element of charisma. People who are happy are much more pleasant to be around. And they tend to spread happiness.

Authenticity -- Be real, be yourself, be consistent. When people know what to expect from you, they are more comfortable approaching you. Even if there may be disagreement or difference of opinion, they know whom they are dealing with, and that you have values and standards that are constantly demonstrated.

Respect -- Charismatic people not only command respect, they offer it in return. You will never meet a charismatic bully -- no one likes to be pushed around. I think that one of the most important skills to master is learning how to respectfully disagree with someone. Even when you don't agree with people, or you want them to do something different, you should give supporters, potential allies and even adversaries your full attention when they're speaking. Show that you respect their viewpoint, and they'll more readily listen to you and your ideas.

Interest -- Are you the person who walks into a room and announces, "Here I am!" or are you more likely to say, "It's so good to see you!" Putting the emphasis on others is not only charming, it's a wonderful way to acknowledge that they are important to you.

Smile -- It's so simple, yet so significant. People like to be around pleasant people, and nothing communicates a sunny disposition better than a smile.

Mannerisms -- Body language must match speech. Watch how charismatic people walk into a room, how they shake hands, how they hold themselves while listening to others. Good posture and confident body language can win people over on a subliminal level.

Attitude -- The late Steve Jobs, the computer genius who co-founded Apple, was a very charismatic leader of technical people. When his group was designing Apple's Macintosh computer, Jobs flew a pirate flag over his building. Its purpose? To signify his team's determination to blow the competition out of the water. He demonstrated the kind of can-do attitude that is contagious -- with confidence in the people around him to produce successful results. Such validation makes a leader very charismatic indeed.

"The most important single ingredient in the formula for success is knowing how to get along with people," President Theodore Roosevelt said. I believe that statement is timeless. I have never met a successful person who hasn't figured out how to get along with others.

To that end, I have relied on the guidance of two of my favorite authors throughout my career. Here are a couple nuggets of their wisdom:

Norman Vincent Peale, author of "The Power of Positive Thinking," said, "Getting people to like you is merely the other side of liking them."

Dale Carnegie, author of "How to Win Friends and Influence People," said: "You can win more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get people interested in you."

I recommend you put these two authors at the top of your reading -- or re-reading -- list.

Mackay's Moral: Charisma is likability on steroids.

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