Some people walk into a room and all heads turn. When they begin to speak, people are mesmerized. They instantly gain respect and trust. In a word, they have charisma, one of the most desirable and enviable qualities in the world.

What is charisma? It's hard to define, but it is many things, including likability. If you want to influence people, they must like you and respect you. But charisma is so much more. I believe the definition is found in the letters of the word itself.

Confidence -- Confidence doesn't come naturally to most people. Even the most successful have struggled with it in their careers. The good news is that you can develop confidence, just like any muscle or character trait, if you're willing to work hard. Charismatic people believe in themselves, and share that confidence with the people around them. We want to follow leaders who believe they (and we) can do anything. Don't ignore obstacles, but focus on what you can achieve.

Happiness -- I believe we were born to be happy. The happiest people I know are not the richest or the most attractive or even the best at what they do. The happiest people are those who discover that what they should be doing and what they are doing are the same things. True happiness lies in satisfaction, which is an essential element of charisma. People who are happy are much more pleasant to be around. And they tend to spread happiness.

Authenticity -- Be real, be yourself, be consistent. When people know what to expect from you, they are more comfortable approaching you. Even if there may be disagreement or difference of opinion, they know whom they are dealing with, and that you have values and standards that are constantly demonstrated.

Respect -- Charismatic people not only command respect, they offer it in return. You will never meet a charismatic bully -- no one likes to be pushed around. I think that one of the most important skills to master is learning how to respectfully disagree with someone. Even when you don't agree with people, or you want them to do something different, you should give supporters, potential allies and even adversaries your full attention when they're speaking. Show that you respect their viewpoint, and they'll more readily listen to you and your ideas.

Interest -- Are you the person who walks into a room and announces, "Here I am!" or are you more likely to say, "It's so good to see you!" Putting the emphasis on others is not only charming, it's a wonderful way to acknowledge that they are important to you.

Smile -- It's so simple, yet so significant. People like to be around pleasant people, and nothing communicates a sunny disposition better than a smile.

Mannerisms -- Body language must match speech. Watch how charismatic people walk into a room, how they shake hands, how they hold themselves while listening to others. Good posture and confident body language can win people over on a subliminal level.

Attitude -- The late Steve Jobs, the computer genius who co-founded Apple, was a very charismatic leader of technical people. When his group was designing Apple's Macintosh computer, Jobs flew a pirate flag over his building. Its purpose? To signify his team's determination to blow the competition out of the water. He demonstrated the kind of can-do attitude that is contagious -- with confidence in the people around him to produce successful results. Such validation makes a leader very charismatic indeed.

"The most important single ingredient in the formula for success is knowing how to get along with people," President Theodore Roosevelt said. I believe that statement is timeless. I have never met a successful person who hasn't figured out how to get along with others.

To that end, I have relied on the guidance of two of my favorite authors throughout my career. Here are a couple nuggets of their wisdom:

Norman Vincent Peale, author of "The Power of Positive Thinking," said, "Getting people to like you is merely the other side of liking them."

Dale Carnegie, author of "How to Win Friends and Influence People," said: "You can win more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get people interested in you."

I recommend you put these two authors at the top of your reading -- or re-reading -- list.

Mackay's Moral: Charisma is likability on steroids.

When you are fired, you're rejected -- it's as simple as that. It's the end of the road for that job. But it might put you on the superhighway to the Super Bowl!

Look no further than Gary Kubiak, who is the newest poster child for rebounding from adversity. He was fired as head coach of the NFL's Houston Texans in the middle of the 2013 season, when the team won only two of 16 games. If you had predicted that less than two years later, he would coach the Denver Broncos to a Super Bowl championship, people would think you were delusional. But good things happen to people with experience who continue to work on improvement.

Professional sports, entertainment and the business world are filled with stories of people who got second, third, fourth and more chances. That's because there is no substitute for experience.

Kubiak also exhibited a strong leadership trait in loyalty. He brought seven assistant coaches from his previous head-coaching job in Houston with him to Denver, and he also signed a few players who were cut from his previous team after he left.

It's interesting that the two competing coaches in last year's Super Bowl -- Bill Belichick of New England and Pete Carroll of Seattle -- were both fired from previous jobs as well.

I interviewed Bill Belichick for my 2004 book "We Got Fired! … and It's the Best Thing That Ever Happened To Us." Belichick was axed by the Cleveland Browns after the 1995 season and became head coach of the New England Patriots in 2000, after Pete Carroll had the job for three seasons and was fired.

Belichick said: "I think every game, every week, every year is a great experience. I'd say I've learned every year I've been in the league no matter what capacity it's been in. Hopefully I'll keep learning. I've got a lot to learn." And this from one of only two NFL coaches with four Super Bowl championships.

One thing Belichick mentioned, which I also heard Gary Kubiak talk about, was about delegating. Belichick said that he learned to delegate more with the Patriots, focusing more time and energy into some bigger-picture things and less on the details.

After a small stroke during a game in 2013, Kubiak also said he has learned to delegate more and not be a control freak, as he was in his previous job. He empowered veteran players to make decisions and impose team policy. It helps that he inherited a veteran team, including his quarterback, Peyton Manning.

Yes, the same Peyton Manning who won a Super Bowl in 2007 with the Indianapolis Colts and was also later "fired" when the Colts were able to draft Stanford quarterback Andrew Luck.

For the rest of us, getting fired may not be as public an affair. So it's important to figure out why you were fired. Most people are mistaken in their beliefs about why they lost their jobs. Some will say that they're failures, others that their boss had it in for them, and others that they were sure their career ended because of a faux pas they made at the company picnic.

Often, firing is a straightforward cost-cutting measure. When you're fired, it's easy to weave fantasies and imagine villains. But if you are going to spend even an hour feeling miserable, make sure that you are miserable for the right reason.

Tony Dungy, whom I was instrumental in recruiting to the University of Minnesota and who was recently elected to the Pro Football Hall of Fame, is another Super-Bowl-winning coach who was fired. For the record, he coached the Indianapolis Colts to the 2007 championship after being fired by the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. Dungy said: "When I got my first head coaching job at 40 years old, I thought I was ready. I was shocked at how much better I was at 47."

"Because you get fired doesn't mean you were a bad coach," Tony added. "It doesn't mean you weren't smart. It means it just wasn't the right situation."

Mackay's Moral: The way to douse a firing is to use what you have learned for an even better hiring.

Lord Chesterfield, in his famous letters to his son, wrote: "Here is the way to get people to like you. Make every person like himself a little better, and I promise that he or she will like you very much."

Most of us are aware of the tremendous power of encouragement, yet we fail to make use of it. Helping others feel important and better about themselves should be a driving force in our relationships.

Mahatma Gandhi inspired millions of people to go beyond their limitations to accomplish great things. It was said of Gandhi that he refused to see the bad in people. He inspired, even changed, human beings by regarding them not as what they were but rather as they wished to be.

"People have a way of becoming what you encourage them to be -- not what you nag them to be," said politician Scudder Parker.

Growing up I studied people like Dale Carnegie, who said: "Tell a child, a husband or an employee that he is stupid or dumb at a certain thing, that he has no gift for it and that he is doing it all wrong, and you have destroyed almost every incentive to try to improve. But use the opposite technique, be liberal with encouragement ... let the other person know that you have faith in his ability to do it ... and he will practice until the dawn comes in at the window in order to excel."

Smart organizations understand that on a local scale, operating in an atmosphere of support and encouragement will improve not only morale, but in many instances, their bottom line. They encourage employees to take risks that will move the company forward.

When we eliminate unrealistic expectations, allow for failure without punishment and appreciate and encourage people's efforts, we lay a foundation for people to excel. Creating a supportive environment should be a central pillar of any business plan. Otherwise, why bother to hire the best people?

Legendary Alabama football coach Paul "Bear" Bryant shared his secret for encouraging players to come together as a team, how to lift some up and how to calm some down. "There are just three things I'd ever say," he stated. "If anything goes bad, I did it. If anything goes semi-good, then we did it. If anything goes real good, then you did it. That's all it takes to get people to win football games for you." Or do their best work for your company.

Inspirational author Glenn Van Ekeren tells the story of what happened many years ago in a Paris opera house. A famous singer was to perform to a sold-out audience. The feeling of anticipation and excitement was in the air as the theater manager took the stage and said, "Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for your enthusiastic support. I am afraid that due to illness, the man you have all come to hear will not be performing tonight. However, we have a suitable substitute we hope will provide you with comparable entertainment."

The crowd groaned in disappointment. The environment turned from excitement to frustration. The stand-in performer gave the performance everything he had. When he finished, there was nothing but uncomfortable silence. No one applauded. Suddenly, from the balcony, a little boy stood up and shouted, "Daddy, I think you are wonderful." The crowd broke into thunderous applause.

Who wouldn't love to hear, "I think you are wonderful" every now and then?

Mackay's Moral: A person may not be as good as you tell her she is, but she'll try harder thereafter.