Two old friends met at a local social gathering and one was struck with how sad and depressed the other was.

"You look like your world is about to end," said Jack.

With a sad face, Joe replied, "You don't know the half of it. Three weeks ago, an aunt of mine died and left me $100,000."

"That's terrific!" Jack said.

Scarcely pausing, Joe added, "Two weeks ago, this cousin I never heard of died, and I was his closest relative, so the lawyer said I'd inherited $95,000, all tax free."

"So why is that bad?"

"Then, last week, a grandfather I haven't spoken to in 10 years passed away, and he left me almost half a million dollars!"

"So what's your problem?"

"This week: Nothing!"

The moral of the above anecdote is that you just can't please everyone.

I'm an eternal optimist. Where there is an optimist, there is a way. Success requires irrepressible optimism.

Just ask corporate giant Michael Eisner, former Walt Disney Company CEO, how he became so successful, and in a heartbeat, he'll say optimism. In his book, "Work in Progress," Eisner says he has been upbeat for as far back as he can remember. As a kid, he went to New York Giants football games with a firm belief that his team would win. In those days the squad was mediocre at best, and by the fourth quarter the Giants would usually be down by four or five touchdowns. When his friends would want to leave early to beat the crowds out of the stadium, Eisner insisted on staying, sure that the team could mount a last-minute comeback. Even though the Giants invariably lost, Eisner would attend every game certain the Giants would win. It was this kind of irrepressible optimism that propelled Eisner into the highest ranks of some of the most successful companies in the world.

M.J. Ryan, life coach and author of "The Happiness Makeover," says that it's possible for just about anyone to revamp their thinking. "Training your brain is like training a puppy," she says. "It wanders everywhere, but you need to keep bringing it back to the upside."

But being too optimistic has its problems, say researchers at Duke University's Fuqua School of Business. The study, originally published in the Journal of Financial Economics, discovered that people who are generally optimistic usually display prudent financial behaviors, but people with too much optimism tend to have short planning horizons and often do things that are considered unwise.

The researchers asked survey participants how long they expected to live. Anyone who reported expecting to live longer than the statistical life expectancies was categorized as an optimist. Those who thought they would live 20 years longer than statistical life expectancies were considered extreme optimists.

The study found that optimists work longer hours, save more money, are more likely to pay their credit card balances on time, believe their income will grow over the next five years and plan to retire later (or not at all). But extreme optimists work significantly fewer hours, save less money and are less likely to pay off their credit card balances on a regular basis.

You have the power to control your outlook. Just remember these three things.

-- Tell yourself you can change. Consider how you've changed throughout your life emotionally. Don't assume you can't evolve further.

-- Use positive language. Banish words and phrases like "impossible" and "I can't" from your vocabulary. Replace them with words that emphasize strength and success: "challenging" and "I must."

-- Let go of mistakes. You're bound to fail at some things; don't obsess over them. Learn what you can and move on.

Mackay's Moral: Optimists are people who make the best of it when they get the worst of it.

The other day I was with a friend who was telling me how stressed he was. He felt that everyone wanted a piece of him and he was spread too thin. He didn't want to disappoint people, especially family. I told him he needed to learn how to say no.

Like most of us, he had no idea how to gracefully but firmly decline requests.

Why is it so hard? It's just a tiny two-letter word that is tremendously liberating. So why do we feel so guilty saying no? Do you recognize these descriptions paraphrased from Michelle Tullier's "The Complete Idiot's Guide to Overcoming Procrastination":

Some people have a great sense of duty and obligation. They feel like they have to say yes to almost anything they are asked to do -- and end up feeling resentful and burned out. Others just want everyone to like them. They're afraid if they say no, they might cause the person making the request to reject them. Some are afraid they'll miss out on a big opportunity if they say no. Then there are those who feel flattered when they are asked to do something. Some people hate confrontation so much they will do almost anything to avoid it. They are called pushovers.

Inevitably, someone will ask you to do something you don't have the time or ability to do. In an effort to please everyone, you may say yes. While your intentions may be honorable, the result may be falling short of completing any obligation well. So everyone might be better served if you just say no.

You probably can't turn down orders from your boss, but you can take more control of your time by not letting co-workers bury you with requests. Help when you can, but remind people politely that you've got to stick to priorities. Don't let extraneous tasks overtake your calendar.

And while it's great to be needed, don't try too hard to become your organization's "go-to" person whenever something needs to be done. You won't get ahead if you're too busy to do good work. Before you get stretched too far, consider how to say "no" without alienating your boss and your co-workers:

-- Explore the assignment. Find out why you're being asked to take on this job. Are you really the only person who can do it? Is it really urgent? The more you know, the more negotiating room you have.

-- Clarify your own priorities. Explain what else is on your plate and why it's important. Other people may not realize what your priorities really are, and won't press the question once they understand the scope of your other responsibilities.

-- Adjust your workflow. If your boss wants you to do something extra, use the request as an opportunity to shift your other projects: "I can do that, but my report on the Jones Project will be late -- is that OK?" This shows you're thinking about priorities, and may make your boss rethink his assumptions about your workload.

-- Don't say anything when you're put on the spot. Take some time to think it over.

-- Be polite, but firm. Don't build false hope about what you can do. Don't say, "I'll try." You'll just worry about squeezing the request into your schedule or how you're going to say in the end that you didn't get it done.

Let me just add, from a management perspective, I love when people are willing to take on extra tasks when necessary. I do not love when their work is substandard or their usual responsibilities suffer, just to prove how many balls they could juggle at one time. That tells me that they are weak on time management.

Saying no is not the same as saying never. It's an acknowledgement that you respect yourself as well as the person doing the asking. Believe me, it won't stop him or her from asking again!

Mackay's Moral: Know when to say no.

January is National Mentoring Month. Mentoring can change your life -- and the lives of your mentees. Mentoring means helping less-experienced people observe, experiment with and evaluate different work strategies. And the benefits are not limited to young people. People of all ages can gain from the guidance of a more-experienced person. A mentor can help even experienced managers boost their job performance and advance their careers.

I've had the privilege of mentoring hundreds of people over the course of my career. With some, it consisted of a few meetings. With others, the relationship lasted over months or years, with an occasional check-in when questions arose. Those are some of the most rewarding experiences of my decades in business.

At the same time, I am grateful for two mentors whom I have occasionally mentioned: my University of Minnesota history professor, Harold Deutsch, and golf coach, Les Bolstad. Both men taught me as much about life as about their particular subjects. Over my business career, I've had many great mentors.

Growing up, were there people in your life who encouraged you, showed you the ropes and helped you become the person you are today? Think about individuals who offered you encouragement, shared their experiences and knowledge, and sometimes just listened when you needed to talk.

Most successful people say they had mentors along the way who guided and encouraged them. For example, poet Maya Angelou cited a grade-school teacher who sparked her love of poetry; music producer Quincy Jones points to the powerful influence of musician Ray Charles; and musician Sting credits a teacher whose energy inspired a lifelong passion for learning.

Establishing the right relationship is critical to the mentor/mentee relationship. You know how important mentoring can be to younger or inexperienced employees. But how do you know if you're cut out to be a good mentor? Here are five key characteristics of an effective mentor:

-- Commitment. Are you willing to dedicate the time and effort necessary to a mentoring relationship? You should already be involved in helping employees learn new skills and develop professionally.

-- Courage. Do you have the courage to take risks, admit mistakes and let others do the same? You'll have to tolerate the occasional error and use it as a learning experience, and at the same time teach your staff or co-workers how to tell the difference between a reasonable risk and an unacceptable one.

-- Curiosity. Are you hungry for knowledge? Don't limit your answer to professional areas. If you're always asking questions, trying to find out how things work and why, you'll be a good mentor.

-- Compassion. Are you patient with others when they make mistakes? Do you try to understand situations from the other person's point of view? As a mentor, your job isn't to pass judgment but to create opportunities for insight and growth in other people.

-- Communication. Explain what works for you and why. Telling a protege what to do in a specific situation doesn't really teach him or her much. You'll be more effective if you communicate as explicitly as you can what strategies and techniques have worked best for you. After a meeting with a client, for instance, you might tell the protege why you took the approach you did.

When you are on the other side of the equation, how do you go about finding a good mentor? To find the right match, look for someone with skills similar to yours but who has progressed further up the professional ladder. He or she doesn't even have to be in the same city. With email, teleconferencing and the phone, location is immaterial.

Don't limit yourself to one mentor. You may want to have several mentors to help with different aspects of your life, a kind of mentoring "board of directors." And remember, mentors change over a lifetime.

Manage your time together. Be mindful of the amount of time a mentor can commit to the relationship. Ask for referrals if you feel like you're imposing. Let your mentors know that you are grateful for their guidance.

Mentoring presents a tremendous win-win opportunity that few business relationships offer. And who doesn't want to be a winner?

Mackay's Moral: Show that you care with the knowledge you share.