My friend Sam is an avid golfer. He plays every chance he gets. He also makes a practice of working out at the gym on weekends, and prefers to get an early start there.

One Saturday, the forecast called for a warm and sunny morning with heavy rain developing by noon. Still, Sam kept to his usual schedule and worked out in the morning, knowing his afternoon golf game would get rained out. When I asked him why he didn't play golf first, he shrugged and said, "I never work out in the afternoon."

"Seriously?" I asked. "You are allowed to break your own rules, you know."

I suspect many of us have rules, or habits, that we follow without giving any thought to why we adhere to them. Rules bring order to life. They give us permission to do the things we want to do, and excuses not to do the things we don't. They are handy.

And sometimes very limiting.

Simple rules, like "I need my morning coffee in order to be productive" or "I always pay my bills on time," are fine. Others, like "I never make plans that I can't break if I get a better offer" or "I need a couple drinks to unwind after work," can be destructive.

Many of us also adhere to rules that jeopardize success at work. Do any of these apply to you?

Bad Rule No. 1: I always eat lunch at my desk to save money and get more work done. Break this one right now! Find another way to economize, and jump at the chance to network and hear the latest scoop on what is happening around the company. It needn't be an everyday event -- but shoot for once or twice a week.

Bad Rule No. 2: I don't need to talk up my accomplishments; I'm sure my boss and everyone else knows what I'm capable of doing. You can take credit without bragging. Own your work, and be proud of it. Keep your boss, or whomever you are working with, up to date with emails or meeting updates. And on the occasion that someone else takes credit for your efforts, be gracious but firm in reminding that person that you shared responsibility for the success.

Bad Rule No. 3: I never disagree with my boss; I go along with whatever he or she says. If you have information or a different idea that would make a project work better, share it. Your boss may or may not act on your suggestion, but you have demonstrated your willingness to step up when needed.

Bad Rule No. 4: I wait to be asked to join committees or take on extra work. Break this rule ASAP! Jump on opportunities to stretch your limits or showcase your talents. Volunteer for a new challenge and increase your visibility within your organization.

Bad Rule No. 5: I never mix business with pleasure. That's like denying that you work with other people. Your work time is a big part of your life, and it should bring you pleasure. Getting together with co-workers away from the office is a great way to forge stronger relationships. It's important to have friends outside your work life, but it is also important to see other dimensions of those you spend so many hours with. That's why many companies schedule regular company outings or volunteer opportunities.

Bad Rule No. 6: I take myself very seriously. Please, please, please break this rule immediately. You can take your work seriously. You can take problems seriously. You can take your boss seriously. But you have to be able to laugh at yourself. You need to step back and see yourself as others see you. You will do yourself a great favor by maintaining a sense of humor and letting go of the need to be in control.

As the old saying goes, rules were made to be broken. Better yet, review the rules you have imposed upon yourself and evaluate whether they are useful or destructive. You could actually be sabotaging your own success by adhering to bad rules.

Let me suggest a couple rules for your consideration. First, I will take risks and stretch beyond my comfort zone to grow in my profession. Second, I will accept new challenges and responsibilities that benefit myself and my company. And third, I will never blame anyone but myself if I break these rules.

Mackay's Moral: Play by the right rules if you want to be a winner.

Last spring, I was playing a great game of golf. I stood on the 18th tee, and with a birdie on the final hole, I would shoot an even par 72. I pulled out my driver one last time. Having hit 13 good drives in a row, I was super excited about telling all my friends ... until I hooked my tee shot into the woods and wound up with a double bogey and a 75.

Now, I would take a three-over-par final score any day of the week, but I was extremely disappointed with the way it happened because I knew I choked. So I called my good friend Lou Holtz and asked him for his definition of choking.

Lou said: "Choking is when you are concentrating on the result and not focusing on the execution."

He went on to tell me about one of his kickers when he coached football at Notre Dame. His teams had not lost to the University of Southern California for 10 straight years, but in the next game the kicker shanked an extra point with 90 seconds to go, costing the Fighting Irish the game.

Choking is described as anxiety or nervousness, a lack of self-confidence, extreme tentativeness under competitive pressure and a tightening of the muscles. In short, people have a mental breakdown and forget what got them there.

This horrible mental monster wreaks havoc with everyone from Little Leaguers to the best of the best. A prime example is this year's U.S. Open tennis tournament. Serena Williams was ready to make tennis history by winning the four major tournaments in a calendar year. She was heavily favored in her semifinal match against Roberta Vinci, who had never made it to the semifinals of a major tournament. Serena cruised through the first set. Suddenly the wheels came off under a mountain of pressure, and she lost to her unranked Italian opponent.

History is full of famous sports chokes, but choking doesn't only happen in sports. It also happens many times in business and all facets of life. It can happen to the top sales rep who botches a million-dollar sale or the seasoned customer service rep who messes up an important account.

Dr. Alan Goldberg is an expert on mental toughness and choking. He has seven guidelines to help loosen the grip that choking may have on you, which he refers to as the First Aid for Choking. Think of it as a businessperson's Heimlich maneuver.

-- Stay in the now. Don't allow your focus to drift. As you get more anxious, your muscles will tense up. Don't think about the past or the future, concentrate on the present.

-- Keep your focus on you. You can't be concerned about what others may think of you. Fear and embarrassment will physically tighten you up and undermine your self-confidence, thus distracting you from doing your job. Quickly return to what you are doing in that moment.

-- Dwell on what you want to happen, not on what you're afraid will happen. If you are worried about what could go wrong, you are unknowingly visualizing what you don't want to happen. This gets you uptight. Try visualizing what you want to happen.

-- Understand that choking is normal. Everyone chokes sometimes, even the best in their field. Remember that you are in good company.

-- Be a good coach to yourself. When you choke, the last thing you should do is get angry with yourself or let people put you down. Be kind to yourself and forgive your failures.

-- Leave your expectations at home. Dr. Goldberg believes that obsessing over future outcome will make you more vulnerable to choking. It's OK to write your goals down and store them away out of sight until after the performance is over.

-- Handle negative thinking with lightness. We all hear that little voice of self-doubt. Just don't take it seriously. You can still perform to your potential with this negativity. Return to your focus and stay calm and loose.

Mackay's Moral: A little hiccup won't end your career, but be careful not to let it choke you.

We've all heard the old adage that you can't buy happiness. Well, it turns out that it's not exactly true. You actually can buy happiness -- when you spend your money or your time on others.

Does that come as a surprise to anyone? It's true for individuals and companies alike. Corporations and organizations often choose a pet charity or cause to support. It's more than just a public relations move. Companies that care make huge impacts on their communities.

Similarly, individuals feel the same effect. A great way to feel happy is to help other people by getting involved in volunteer work that supports a good cause. The experience of helping others can give you the perspective you need to appreciate what you have.

You don't have to look far to find an inspirational opportunity, especially around the holidays. During this traditional time for giving, organizations are clamoring for all kinds of help. Sharing precious time may seem burdensome, but the rewards are immeasurable.

I've written about one of my favorite days every winter, when my elf-assistant Greg Bailey and I take a shift ringing bells for the Salvation Army. Our kettle is proof that even when people can't spare time, they are generous with their money. The Salvation Army is always looking for bell-ringers, and they love having full red kettles. Those donations help buy a lot of happiness for people in need.

Researchers at the University of British Columbia and Harvard University found that people who buy gifts for others or make charitable donations are happier than people who spend their money primarily on themselves.

Researchers also measured the rates of happiness for people who received profit-sharing bonuses of $3,000 to $8,000 from their employers. Again, the researchers found that it was not how much money the participants received that predicted happiness levels, but rather how the recipients spent the money.

As part of the study, researchers gave participants a $20 bill and asked them to spend it that day. Half were instructed to spend the money on themselves, while the other half were to spend it on others.

You guessed it. The people who spent the money on others reported feeling better and happier than those who didn't. Therefore, if you want to improve your feelings of happiness, try spending even a small amount of money or time on someone else during the day.

There are plenty of other ways to be happy and successful without measuring how much money you make. Here's what works for the happiest people on Earth, according to research cited by The Week website:

-- Nurture your relationships. The happiest people have lots of friends and strong family relationships.

-- Work hard (but not too hard). Focus on work you enjoy and tasks that you do well. Stay busy and involved, but not to the point where you feel constantly rushed to finish everything.

-- Don't stay in the wrong job. A job you hate adds stress to your life that no amount of money can erase. If you're unhappy at work, find a new job that suits your temperament and skills better.

-- Plan happy activities. Spontaneity is nice, but people who enjoy life actively plan for fun and recreation. Don't wait until the last minute; decide on a few activities you like and put them on the calendar so they don't get lost in the shuffle.

And I would add:

-- Share willingly. When you share your gifts, whether time or money, you are giving the best gift of all. You may never know the impact your giving has on others. What matters is the impact it has on you. You'll soon find it becomes a habit.

Remember, you are responsible for your own happiness. You can choose to be happy. You can choose to share your joy. You can't force anyone to be happy, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't try!

Mackay's Moral: Unhappiness always seeks to get. Happiness always seeks to give.