life

Tips for Dynamite Public Speaking

Harvey Mackay by by Harvey Mackay
by Harvey Mackay
Harvey Mackay | August 3rd, 2015

I am, first and foremost, and will always be, an envelope salesman. My business card says so. But more people probably know me as an author and speaker -- which evolved from my sales career. Who would have thought?

Regardless of the title on your business card, everyone is a salesperson whether you want to admit it or not. Why? Because from the time you get up in the morning until the time you go to bed at night, you are continually communicating, negotiating, persuading, influencing and selling ideas.

When you can get up on your feet and talk extemporaneously on a lot of subjects, it instills confidence, develops poise and breeds conviction. You become more convincing in your meetings and your encounters. And you become a better leader, manager and salesperson.

I never pass up an opportunity to promote Toastmasters International, which started in 1924 and today has more than 300,000 members in 126 countries and nearly 15,000 clubs. Toastmasters changed my life.

Another organization that can dramatically change your life is Dale Carnegie Training.

I am also a proud graduate of Dale Carnegie.

The three most important keys on giving a good speech are: 1) Room size. 2) Room size. 3) Room size. You want the excitement and chemistry of a standing-room-only, bumper-to-bumper crowd. Extra space is a killer. Also try to avoid rooms with high ceilings.

Have the first row set very close to the stage. Too much space between the speaker and the first row can destroy the connection with the audience.

Studies show people remember more and laugh more in bright areas. Turn the lights up full blast, unless you are showing overheads.

Practice, practice, practice. Know your stuff. Don't ever give another speech without it being entertaining as well as educational.

Never, never, never end your program with a question- and-answer session. You cannot control the agenda or the quality of the questions. Start the Q & A five minutes before the end of your talk, and then end with an awesome story.

Find out who the group's last three to five speakers were and how they were received. Ask why they were successful or why they failed.

Contact the Chamber of Commerce of any city you are to speak in. They will give you loads of information to familiarize you with the local surroundings and help you personalize your remarks.

Never mispronounce a person's name. If you're not sure, check with the sponsor. Then double-check.

Stick to your allotted time and don't go over it.

If you don't have a smashing "opener" and "closer," go back to the drawing board. Don't step up to the microphone until you do.

And finally, number 35 on the list: Debrief yourself within 24 hours of a speech, and take 10 minutes to write down what you could do better next time. Try something new every time you speak and you'll never become stale.

Above all, you must know your audience. Here's a slightly risque story that illustrates my point: Harold calls Al and tells him, "I have a problem. My guest speaker for the Rotary meeting just canceled. Might you be able to fill in?" Al says he will be happy to.

Harold says, "What might you talk about?"

Al says, "Oh I don't know ... I'll probably talk about sex."

The next day Al gives his speech and gets a standing ovation. Al goes home and tells his wife that the speech went well.

His wife asks, "What did you talk about?"

Now Al knows his wife doesn't think he knows anything about sex, so Al says, "skiing."

"Oh," she says, "I see, skiing."

The next day Al's wife is at the supermarket and runs into Harold's wife. And Harold's wife says, "I heard your husband gave a great speech at Rotary. He must be terrific."

And Al's wife says, "I don't understand. He has only done it once and his hat blew off."

Mackay's Moral: A public speaker should stand up to be seen, speak up to be heard and shut up to be appreciated.

(Harvey Mackay is the author of the New York Times best-seller "Swim With the Sharks Without Being Eaten Alive." He can be reached through his website, www.harveymackay.com, by emailing harvey@mackay.com or by writing him at MackayMitchell Envelope Co., 2100 Elm St. SE, Minneapolis, MN 55414.)

life

How Not to Be Perfect

Harvey Mackay by by Harvey Mackay
by Harvey Mackay
Harvey Mackay | July 27th, 2015

Two men met on an airplane and began to talk. They asked each other the usual questions, and as it happened, one of the men was married and the other man was not. After a while the married man asked, "Why is it that you never married?"

The single man looked pensive then said, "Well, I think I just never met the right woman."

"Oh, come on," the married man replied. "Surely you've met at least one girl during your lifetime that you wanted to marry."

The single man once again thought about the man's statement. "Well, yes, that's true," he said. "There was one girl once. The perfect girl."

"Well, why on Earth didn't you marry her?" the married man asked.

"She was looking for the perfect man," the other replied.

Perfect is the ultimate praise. But trying to attain perfection can cause stress, hinder efficiency and create unnecessary conflicts. Perfectionists are frequently thought of as critical, overwhelmed, unable to see the big picture, stressed-out, anxious and rarely able to enjoy their accomplishments.

Perfect is also the ultimate impossibility. Most of us are content to settle for almost perfect, or pretty darn close. So it makes sense to focus instead on a goal of excellence: meeting the highest standards agreed upon for oneself or by the group.

As the legendary football coach Vince Lombardi said, "Perfection is not attainable, but if we chase perfection we can catch excellence."

Excellence means continued personal and professional growth, job satisfaction and customer service, clear and reasonable expectations and a strong sense of accomplishment.

To truly keep on the path toward the pursuit of excellence, give these points some consideration:

-- Get real. When you find yourself becoming frantic about a goal, stop and ask, "Is this problem really worth the level of frustration I'm experiencing?" The likelihood that a result can never be good enough is counterproductive to progress.

-- Establish clear expectations. If you know what's expected of you, you can better track your progress and draw boundaries when needed. This will help you move forward with a project instead of obsessing on details that may not ultimately make a difference.

-- Identify your triggers. Learn to recognize the factors that lead or contribute to your perfectionist thinking and behaviors, and avoid them. If you can't figure them out by yourself, ask your colleagues. They will likely be able to tell you what you need to know.

-- Delegate. Many perfectionists mistakenly believe that they, and only they, can complete the task at hand. Allow other people to assist you, which will increase the odds that the group will more easily reach excellence.

-- Know what's important. Ask yourself: "What's most important about this project?" Seek input from supervisors, colleagues and employees. Setting your objectives and then identifying key points allows everyone to contribute to the success of the project.

-- Focus on what you can do, not on what you can't. Do the best job possible within the limits of your resources. Rather than wasting time, energy and money obsessing about how good it could be if you had more to work with, concentrate your efforts on how to get the best result within your limitations.

Longtime readers of this column will suspect I am contradicting one of my favorite aphorisms: "Practice makes perfect -- not true. Perfect practice makes perfect." I still adhere to that philosophy. If you are practicing to improve performance, whether for a presentation or golf swing, you want to improve your performance, not repeatedly practice mistakes.

Management guru Stephen Covey put it this way: "Real excellence does not come cheaply. A certain price must be paid in terms of practice, patience and persistence -- natural ability notwithstanding."

In other words, you have to be willing to pay the price, because excellence in any field is not automatic.

I know people who have bowled perfect games. I have witnessed pitchers throwing perfect games. Not to brag, but I recently got my first hole-in-one. Those are rarities, believe me. And that's why we keep practicing, as perfectly as we can.

Mackay's Moral: Even if you can't achieve perfection, you should never stop trying.

life

A Sure Alphabet for Success

Harvey Mackay by by Harvey Mackay
by Harvey Mackay
Harvey Mackay | July 20th, 2015

I often joke that it takes years to become an overnight success. But it starts with a dream. My dream was to own a factory. I wasn't even sure what kind of product I'd make, or exactly where it would be. But I pictured myself walking the factory floor, talking to workers. The pile of broken-down machines I bought might have looked more like a nightmare at the time. But dreams come true -- with a lot of wide-awake work.

Here are my ABCs for reaching your dreams.

A is for attitude. It is absolutely essential that you have a positive mental attitude in every aspect of life.

B is for believe in yourself, even when no one else does. Don't ever let anyone tell you that you can't accomplish your goals. It doesn't matter if they say you can't do it. The only thing that matters is if you say it.

C is for creativity. Your dream might not even be original. You can start with an existing idea, product or service, and then use your innovative skills to take it to a new level.

D is for determination, what keeps us hammering away. Determined people possess the stamina and courage to pursue their ambitions despite criticism, ridicule or unfavorable circumstances.

E is for enthusiasm. You should be so pumped about your dream that you won't take no for an answer. Get excited about what you can accomplish.

F is for focus. Don't let distractions and interruptions undermine your focus. Keep your eye on the prize.

G is for goal. Goals give you more than a reason to get up in the morning; they are an incentive to keep you going all day. Goals tend to tap the deeper resources and draw the best out of life.

H is for hard work. Be prepared to work long and hard to make your dreams come true. You might lose some sleep achieving your dreams, but rest assured, it will be worth it.

I is for imagination. As you explore possibilities, give your mind some space to wander to new territory.

J is for just do it! Ideas don't work unless you do.

K is for keep dreaming. Oftentimes, one idea will lead to another and then another. Watch your dreams grow.

L is for learn everything that is important to you. Take classes, find mentors, search online -- there's a world of information available just waiting for you.

M is for mentors. Connect with successful people, even if they are not in your chosen field. Pick their brains and find out how they achieved their dreams.

N is for no. Know when to say no and recognize the need to try a different approach.

O is for open mind. Consider options that could improve your ideas, and make adjustments as needed.

P is for perfection. In your dreams, your concept is perfect. Work out the kinks, shake out the wrinkles and keep trying until you can't do any better.

Q is for question. If you ask the right questions, not only will you get good information, you will get it quickly and tailored to your needs.

R is for results. As I often say, they don't pay off on effort; they pay off on results. Your dream may take some time to achieve, but until you produce results, it's still just a dream.

S is for strategy. A strategy connects where you are and where you want to go. Do something every day that puts you a step closer to achieving your dream.

T is for tenacity. Take control of your own destiny. It helps to have a little bulldog in you in order to get things done.

U is for unique. Lots of people may have the same dream as you, but you are unique in your ability, desire and knowledge.

V is for visualize your dreams. I believe that visualization is one of the most powerful means of achieving personal goals. If seeing is believing, visualizing is achieving.

W is for what's next. When you have realized your dream, start dreaming again.

X is for experience. Use your own experience to generate ideas and solutions.

Y is for YOUR dreams. Make sure you are not chasing someone else's dreams.

Z is for ZZZs -- a great place to start dreaming.

Mackay's Moral: May all your dreams come true.

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