A son and his father are walking in the mountains. Suddenly, the boy falls, scrapes his knee and screams.

To the son's surprise, he hears his scream repeating somwhere in the mountains.

Curious, he yells, "Who are you?" He receives the same answer. Angered at the response, he screams, "Coward," and hears the same thing in return.

He looks to his father and asks, "What's going on?"

The father smiles and says, "My son, pay attention." And he screams to the mountain, "I admire you!" Again the man screams, "You are a champion," both times hearing his words echoed back to him. The boy is surprised, but does not understand.

Then the father explains: "People call this echo, but really this is life. It gives you back everything you say and do. Our life is simply a reflection of our actions. If you want more love in the world, create more love in your heart. If you want competence in your team, improve your competence. This relationship applies to everything, in all aspects of life. Life will give you back everything you have given it."

Graduation season is upon us, and today I will devote my column to those who are about to embark on a new chapter in their lives. That isn't limited to new grads, by the way -– every day is a new chapter for each of us.

Waking up every morning hoping something wonderful will happen or someone will appear who will change your life is the equivalent of letting something or someone else control your life.

You need to be in charge. You need to decide what actions you will take that will come back to you. And then, you need to integrate those actions into your daily life. That may be a tall order for someone just starting out in a career, but you do have choices.

Let me remind you of a few basic rules of life.

-- Life isn't fair. You've heard this over and over, and yet when someone else gets the promotion, makes more money or takes credit for your work, you beat yourself up wondering what happened. Don't! If the situation is beyond your control, get over it and move on to the next opportunity. Wasting time being bitter will never make you better.

-- Don't just let things happen to you when you can make things happen for you. If you need more training or education, find a way to make it happen. If you truly hate your job, figure out where the problem is and fix it if you can. If you can't, look for other employment or let your entrepreneurial instincts take over.

-- Sometimes it's risky not to take a risk. Making a dream come true only happens when you step outside your comfort zone and chart new territory. And a funny thing will happen: After you start taking small risks, you will become more comfortable taking larger -- and more rewarding -- risks.

-- Pay attention. Stay on top of trends, developments, technology and opportunities. If you can see changes ahead, you can plan and position yourself rather than reacting and regretting. Few things in business stay secret for long. Listen and observe so you can be prepared.

-- Give back. My father drilled this lesson into my head from the beginning. There is always someone somewhere who needs your help, financial support or expertise. Give without expecting anything in return. You'll benefit in ways you never anticipated.

These rules are simple enough. Following them is not. You need to decide what is truly important to you, what values you will live by. Give serious thought to how you want to live so that you can be content with what life gives you back.

For all the new graduates staring at their futures and wondering what's ahead, as well as students of life in general, my wish is that you will never feel like life just happened to you. I wish you success, happiness, wisdom in your decisions and the power to live your dreams.

Mackay's Moral: Life is what you make it. Make it great!

As we celebrate Mother's Day and Father's Day, I get a little nostalgic thinking about some of the life lessons I learned from these two remarkable people in my life.

When I speak to corporate audiences, I often include a lesson about integrity and corporate ethics: "Act like your mother is watching." I've lived my life that way, and it's never failed me.

My mother was a schoolteacher who taught me the power of education. I didn't always listen eagerly, but it instilled in me a desire for continuous education throughout my life. You are not in school during childhood and adolescence; you are in school all of your life. Education is an investment, not an expense.

My father taught me about time management. I still remember him telling me if I wanted to go fishing, I should be on the dock at 2 p.m. sharp. There I was at 2:05 p.m., waving bon voyage to my dad who was driving away in the boat without his fishing buddy. Tough love, lesson learned.

There were several tough love lessons that really helped me in business. I remember one in particular:

"Just slide down the banister, and I'll catch you," he urged.

"But how do I know you'll catch me?" I asked.

"Because I'm your father, and I said I would catch you."

I slid and landed on the carpet. As I dusted myself off, my dad announced, "Be careful whom you trust when it comes to business. Remember that business is business." This bumpy lesson stuck with me and helped me make sure that any business arrangements are backed up with yards of paper. Agreements prevent disagreements.

My folks also taught me that I could make a difference in the world. They always pointed out how ordinary people did wonderful things. It only takes one person to make things better.

My dad insisted that 25 percent of my time should be spent on volunteering, advice I've continued to follow. When you volunteer, in addition to the benefit to your chosen cause, you have an unusual opportunity to hone your selling skills, learn how to run meetings, prepare reports, serve on committees, supervise others, handle rejection and many other skills that can help you in your career, all while serving your community.

One of the most powerful things you can do to influence others is to smile at them, my dad said. Not to be outdone, my mother used to tell me that a smile is an inexpensive way to improve my looks.

My dad often quoted the adage "You spend your whole lifetime building a good name and reputation, and one foolish act can destroy it."

I took his words to heart, and aside from building long-term relationships, there is nothing more important than a good reputation in building a successful business. Without a positive reputation, success is elusive. There are many people who were at the top of their game when they made one fatal mistake -- due to poor judgment, arrogance or the inability to do the right thing. Reputations are destroyed, and all the money in the world can't buy them back.

Also important, Jack Mackay taught me about networking. I was fortunate. My father headed the Associated Press in St. Paul, and was a master networker. He got me started at age 18. He sat me down and gave me the simple yet effective suggestion of putting every person I met for the rest of my life onto a Rolodex card, now called a contact management system. He told me to put a little information about each person on the back of the card, and to update it.

And now here is the real key. You must find a creative way to keep in touch. Little did I know how much my father's advice would dramatically help me in the future and actually change my life.

When I was a kid, my dad would take me to his office. It was a wonderful place. The walls were covered with photos, tickets and other memorabilia. Linking everything together were my dad's favorite aphorisms. Some were straight from fortune cookies. I discovered that these little gems were a great way to remember a lesson. As a result, I've been an aphorism junkie all my life, and end all my book chapters and columns with a Mackay's Moral. Thanks, Mom and Dad.

Mackay's Moral: Lessons learned in childhood are anything but child's play.

Success isn't always about dominating the landscape. Sometimes, to be successful, you have to be prepared to give up some counterproductive behaviors that are holding you back -- behaviors you may not even be aware you possess.

Old habits are hard to break. And if you don't realize that you are practicing some of these behaviors, you may not see a problem. But if others perceive you as a difficult co-worker, it's time to take another look at what you are doing.

Be brutally honest with yourself or ask a trusted associate, and see if any of these traits describe you. If the answer is yes, an attitude adjustment may be in order.

-- The need to be right. Concentrate on getting results, not on proving your own intelligence and accuracy. Be open about your mistakes. Don't worry about who gets the credit for victory. Help others succeed, and you'll share in the glory.

-- Speaking first. You don't have to dominate every meeting and conversation. Ask for others' ideas and opinions. Give them the opportunity to share their thoughts, and they'll become more comfortable communicating with you.

-- Making every decision. Ask others what they would do, and be willing to accept that there may be more than one way to accomplish a task. Don't insist that everyone do things your way.

-- Control. You can't stay on top of every task and decision. Identify what you really need to handle, and delegate responsibility for tasks that others can do just as well. Accept that some things are beyond your control so you can concentrate on the influence you have.

-- Inflexibility. If you find yourself balking at new ideas, or resisting change with "but we've always done it this way," it's time for a change. Different situations demand different solutions. And it's better to be part of the solution than part of the problem.

-- Disloyalty. Bad-mouthing your company, co-workers, products or services never improves any situation. Disagreement is not disloyalty. It's natural to have differences of opinion. But it is not professional to disparage another in an attempt to make yourself look better. Criticism must be constructive, not destructive.

-- Dishonesty. Just tell the truth. Honor confidential conversations. If you prefer not to answer a question, say so, but don't lie or evade questions. Trust is the most important word in business, in my opinion.

-- Tunnel vision. Projects that require cooperation among departments should not provoke competition but teamwork. But if each department sees its contribution as the most important rather than focusing on the big picture, the big picture will be way out of focus.

-- No sense of humor. It's important to take your work seriously, but that doesn't mean you can't have fun at work. In fact, I'm a big fan of enjoying your job and making work enjoyable for those around you. As long as the language is appropriate, i.e., not offensive, demeaning or vulgar, a dose of humor can bring people together and make situations more comfortable.

-- Poor listening skills. There is a difference between hearing and listening. Pay attention to what's being said, and ask questions if you are unclear about the message. Avoid interrupting, evading eye contact, rushing the speaker and letting your attention wander. You can win more friends with your ears than with your mouth.

-- Disorganization. A messy workspace does not demonstrate how busy you are. Clutter gets in the way of clear thinking. If you can't find what you need the moment you need it, you need to get organized.

-- Lack of accountability. Blaming mistakes or poor results on others, refusing to take responsibility for obvious errors, making excuses instead of finding solutions -- it can't always be someone else's fault.

-- Poor time management. First things first. Setting priorities and meeting deadlines is fundamental to the success of an organization. If one of the key players operates on a different schedule, the whole project suffers. Wasting time is wasting money.

-- Impulsiveness. Learn to think before you speak or act. You can't un-say words, and apologies often ring hollow. Count to 10, count to 100, count to whatever it takes to prevent rash and regrettable actions.

-- Vulgarity. Watch your language. Even as more and more four-letter words creep into everyday use, they have no place in a respectable business.

Mackay's Moral: Clean up your act, or be prepared to clean out your desk.