A lecturer on stress management raised a glass of water and asked, "How heavy is this?" Answers from the audience ranged from 20 to 500 grams.

"The absolute weight doesn't matter," replied the lecturer. "It depends on how long you try to hold it.

"If I hold it for a minute," he said, "that's not a problem. If I hold it for an hour, I'll have an ache in my right arm. If I hold it for a day, you'll have to call an ambulance. In each case, it's the same weight, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes."

The lecturer continued: "That's the way it is with stress management. If we carry our burdens all the time, sooner or later, as the burden becomes increasingly heavy, we won't be able to carry on. As with the glass of water, you have to put it down for a while and rest before holding it again. When we're refreshed, we can carry on with the burden."

I used this story in my column nine years ago, and I feel it's just as important today. So when you leave work today, put the burden of work down. Don't carry it home. You can pick it up tomorrow. Whatever burdens you're carrying now, let them down for a moment if you can. Relax -- pick them up later after you've rested. Life is short; enjoy it.

Stress is part of life. A certain amount of stress is normal, even useful. Deadlines are stressful for many, but they also motivate people to finish projects and even feel a sense of accomplishment. Sometimes such pressure is effective in fostering teamwork -- the notion that we're all in this together. Team members share the stress, empathize with each other and feed off each other's energy.

That's the upside of stress. But when stress results from overwork, unreasonable demands and impossible expectations, it can affect everything from customer relations to personal problems to health issues. Can anything be worth that?

While your mind may still be on a holiday schedule, you may not feel ready to get back into the groove. Your job (and your boss) won't wait, though. Here's how to get past the holiday bustle and New Year's doldrums:

-- Review your goals. Look back at what you accomplished the previous year. What remains to be done? Spend some time setting new objectives for the coming 12 months. This should help you get charged up for the future.

-- Adjust your energy level. Log your activities for a few days and identify tasks that waste time and leave you feeling drained. Eliminate what you can, and look for strategies to manage what you're stuck with.

-- Set priorities. Look at what's most important to get done now. Achieving a fresh goal will improve your spirits and remind you of what you're good at.

-- Commit to a work/life balance. Make one of your resolutions to balance the demands of your job and your personal life more equitably. You'll be less likely to crash after a holiday if you're not stressed out before it begins.

-- Get enough sleep. Lack of sleep diminishes your ability to deal with stress. Seven or eight hours of sleep every night will help you stay calm and patient throughout the day.

-- Resist the urge to vent. Expressing your feelings isn't the same as losing control. Lashing out at others can intensify your sense of frustration, especially if you can't do anything about the situation. Focus on solving problems without exploding.

-- Find your stress triggers. By observing what's likely to make you nervous, impatient or angry, you'll be able to head off an ugly incident with your co-workers.

-- Exercise. Regular exercise keeps you healthier overall. Start slowly, if you need to. Low-impact exercises such as yoga can help you relax your mind as well as your body.

-- Recognize the symptoms. If you're suffering from warning signs like lingering headaches, sleep disturbances, difficulty concentrating or stomach problems, you may be hiding from a very real threat to your health. Pay attention to what your body is telling you before stress takes its toll.

And if all else fails, just remember: Stressed spelled backward is desserts.

Mackay's Moral: Don't let excess stress get in the way of extreme success.

One of my favorite "Peanuts" cartoons by Charles Schulz has Charlie Brown saying, "I learned something in school today. I signed up for folk guitar, computer programming, stained glass, art, shoemaking and a natural foods workshop.

"Instead," he said, "I got spelling, history, arithmetic and two study periods."

The last panel has Charlie's companion asking, "So, what did you learn?"

And Charlie replies: "I learned that what you sign up for in life, and what you get, are two different things."

Most years around this time, I write a column about New Year's resolutions and why they can make such a difference in our lives. But breaking them often makes us feel like failures.

Some days are tougher than others, it's true. But if you suffer from a general feeling that your life isn't quite what you had hoped it would be, you may benefit from spending some time thinking about what you need to do differently, no matter what time of year.

Think about what your perfect day would be like. Don't hold back ideas, even if they seem far-fetched. Then take it a step further: What would your perfect life be like?

When you've finished, ask yourself if there is a big gap between how you would like your life to be and how it is. After you have established what seems to be missing from your life, see what you can do, realistically, to take your life just one step closer to your ideals. Don't just quit your job to travel around the world –-- unless you have the means -- but consider what you need to do to make that possible, if that's your dream.

Would more education make a difference? Is a career change in the future? Do you need to devote more time to family and friends? Are you doing anything to help others? These are all big changes, and will require serious planning and willingness to make life alterations. But if you know what you truly want and can reasonably accomplish, you will find a way to make it work.

Write your plan or goals down and put them where you can see them often. Remind yourself that you are worth the effort. And if you slide a little, remember that you can start again. These are your plans, not someone else's.

In the meantime, work with what you have. Expand your experience and enjoy things that are within reach now -- not someday when you finally have enough money, which might take a while to accomplish.

Now, instead of making some resolutions that you have little chance of keeping, you can start to make some life changes that will be rewarding every single day.

"There are three constants in life: change, choice and principles," said my friend, the late management guru Stephen Covey. The third element he mentions is critical to making the best choices about the changes you want to make.

Our third president, Thomas Jefferson, lived by his "Ten Rules for the Good Life," a set of guidelines that helped him stay on course. In my mind, Jefferson was one of the smartest men who ever lived. His rules may seem very general, but that is the beauty of their message: a simple framework for making broader decisions in everyday life. Here are his rules:

1. Never put off till tomorrow what you can do today.

2. Never trouble another for what you can do yourself.

3. Never spend your money before you have it.

4. Never buy what you do not want because it is cheap; it will never be dear to you.

5. Pride costs us more than hunger, thirst and cold.

6. Never repent of having eaten too little.

7. Nothing is troublesome that we do willingly.

8. Don't let the evils that have never happened cost you pain.

9. Always take things by their smooth handle.

10. When angry, count to 10 before you speak; if very angry, count to 100.

Whether you use these rules written more than two centuries ago as a starting point or define your own, making changes will be easier some days than others. You already know, as Charlie Brown says, that what you sign up for in life and what you get are not always the same. But you have the power to change that. Use it!

Mackay's Moral: Confucius says: Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated.

Life is funny -- or at least, I think it should be.

Finding humor in everyday things is a gift. Our very serious world can be depressing and overwhelming. Problems at work can seem insurmountable. Your car is making a disturbing noise, and the kids' school just called to let you know that your daughter, who was perfectly healthy this morning, is in the nurse's office with a fever. None of this is funny.

But ...

You've had issues at work before, and getting angry or throwing a tantrum only makes things worse. What did help break the tension was the clever observation from the office grouch: "I suppose this is a bad time to ask for a raise?"

We've all had days that test our patience. When circumstances are beyond our control, the only thing we can master is our reaction. A sense of humor realigns our perspective so that we can avoid blowing things out of proportion.

In other words, when you are tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the fire department usually uses water. Throw a little water on those tough situations and douse the anxieties before they spread like wildfire into other areas of your life.

Stories and humor were nearly as important as oxygen and water to our 16th president, Abraham Lincoln, according to the Lincoln Institute. Humor helped offset his natural sadness and escape from the internal and external pressures and events of his life.

Journalist and author Norman Cousins wrote of Lincoln: "Laughter to him was not merely a random physical response to humor but a physiological reality that was essential for restoration and rejuvenation."

A terrific resource on maintaining a sense of humor is Rita Davenport's inspiring book "Funny Side Up." In it, she describes her multifaceted career, as a teacher, social worker, television host, best-selling author, motivational speaker and corporate president. I might add that Rita has been incredibly successful at all of them. She led the large network marketing company Arbonne International to $980 million in sales from 1991-2011. Rita is a speaker who delivers life-changing success principles with a sense of humor.

Her book draws on her life experiences, starting with her dirt-poor youth in Tennessee. She credits her success to her ability to dream big when faced with the life of struggle and poverty that her parents knew. Her positive attitude has carried her through plenty of challenges. Among her pearls of wisdom, she advises bringing a sense of humor to the table, whatever table that might be. She says: "Laughter is internal jogging. It causes the muscles around the face to vibrate, which causes blood to rush to that area, which in turn improves brain function. You think better and you feel better, and your health is improved ... Besides, if you hold those chuckles back, the air tends to go back down and expand the hips!"

Rita's book, like her speeches, is punctuated with humor. Her theory is that it's important to develop a sense of humor because it is something that none of us are born with. As proof, she offers this explanation: "I have given birth twice and distinctly remember that neither baby was laughing when he came out. Come to think of it, neither was their mama."

What saved her, she says, is "the ever-ready capacity of laughter when your impulse is to cry or scream."

"Failure is also one more opportunity to develop a strong sense of humor," Rita writes. "Have you ever had something happen that seemed just awful at the time, yet months or years later you found yourself laughing at it?" she asks.

"Here's what you do. First, get in the habit of saying, 'Someday, we're going to laugh about this.' And after you've said that, then say, 'Hey, why wait?' The secret is to laugh sooner."

What terrific advice! Laugh sooner -- and share the joy!