life

Motivation Lets You Be Your Best Self

Harvey Mackay by by Harvey Mackay
by Harvey Mackay
Harvey Mackay | November 3rd, 2014

I began a second or third career as a motivational business speaker about 26 years ago. Several times a month, I have the privilege of speaking to a Fortune 1,000 company, offering business advice and inspiring stories to stir people to capitalize on their abilities and reach their full potential.

I love this part of my job. I've met thousands of people who are looking for help getting started -- a little extra motivation. But what they perhaps don't understand is that while I may be a good storyteller and enthusiastic cheerleader, the motivation doesn't actually come from me. It's the "fire in the belly" of the listeners that will eventually determine whether they achieve more than they thought they could.

That's right -- motivation must come from within. You have to ignite your own passion. Otherwise, how do you explain that in a roomful of people who hear the same message, some will just go back to the office, grateful for the break, while others go on to accomplish great things.

I am fascinated with the science of what makes people tick. Let me share an example from a pioneering thinker in the field of workplace motivation, David McClelland, who developed many of his theories in the 1950s and '60s.

With no stipulated rules, volunteers were asked to throw rings over pegs just like in the carnival game. Most people seemed to throw from arbitrary, random distances, sometimes close, sometimes farther away. But a small group of volunteers, who McClelland suggested were strongly achievement-motivated, carefully measured and tested distances that would produce a challenge that was not too easy, but not impossible.

McClelland identified the need for a "balanced challenge" in the approach of achievement-motivated people. People with strong achievement motivation need to set themselves challenging but realistic goals.

That makes perfect sense to me. I have an easier time getting motivated to sell to an account that I have a reasonable expectation of landing, even if it takes several -- or many -- calls. I can talk myself into going back again and again if I want it bad enough, and if I think I have a chance of success.

As humorist Oscar Wilde put it, "My great mistake, the fault for which I cannot forgive myself, is that one day I ceased my obstinate pursuit of my own individuality." In other words, the day he lost motivation to be his best self.

My friend Brendon Burchard has set out a plan that demonstrates how to avoid that trap. His new book, "The Motivation Manifesto: 9 Declarations to Claim Your Personal Power," is based on the theory that "a vibrant, genuine, and purposeful life is the right of all humankind. ... Humankind's main motivation is to seek and experience personal freedom."

Personal freedom, he says, is important because "when controlled by others, life loses its flair, and we are cast into melancholy and mediocrity."

That sounds to me like the opposite of motivation. So we need to be free to be motivated. But, Burchard says, that presents a difficult choice, "between the comforts of fitting in and pleasing others and our higher motive for personal freedom."

He says: "To achieve personal freedom, we must dedicate ourselves to self-mastery; we must determine and discipline our own motivations to stay true to our sense of self, to our own path."

Overcoming fear -- specifically fear of failure -- is essential to freedom. Burchard encourages readers to repeat this mantra: "Fear wins or freedom wins, and I choose freedom."

And perhaps his boldest statement is this: "Our entire human value system rests on motivation. None of the great human values that keep us and society in check -- kindness, love, honesty, fairness, unity, tolerance, respect, responsibility -- would flourish if we were not motivated to bring them to life."

Sustaining motivation requires real effort. In order to claim the personal power required for motivation, Burchard presents and expands on these nine declarations:

-- We Shall Meet Life with Full Presence and Power

-- We Shall Reclaim Our Agenda

-- We Shall Defeat Our Demons

-- We Shall Advance with Abandon

-- We Shall Practice Joy and Gratitude

-- We Shall Not Break Integrity

-- We Shall Amplify Love

-- We Shall Inspire Greatness

-- We Shall Slow Time

Motivation is a daily challenge. But understanding the rewards makes the effort worthwhile.

Mackay's Moral: (with thanks to Chinese philosopher Lao Tzu) "When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be."

life

Pressure Can Be an Opportunity to Excel

Harvey Mackay by by Harvey Mackay
by Harvey Mackay
Harvey Mackay | October 27th, 2014

Pressure. The very word strikes fear into many people. Winners thrive on pressure, while losers fear it.

What is pressure? My definition of pressure is when you absolutely have to do something you are not prepared to do. If you have to kick a field goal to win a big football game and you aren't prepared to do it, you are going to be nervous. You're going to feel pressure. But if you're really prepared for it, you can't wait to show people how good you are.

That's why winners look forward to pressure. It brings out their best. People who welcome pressure are more successful.

Conversely, pressure can cripple you if you're not prepared. When pressure is self-inflicted, it can control you. Pressure is an attitude. It's 10 percent of what is happening and 90 percent of how you handle it.

Don't be like my friend Mark. They used to call him "Jigsaw" because every time he was faced with a problem, he went to pieces.

To be a champion in sports, business or any realm of life, you have to learn to handle pressure. If you've prepared mentally and physically, you don't have to worry.

During my corporate speeches I repeat one of my favorite aphorisms: "Practice makes perfect -- not true. You have to add one word: Perfect practice makes perfect." I wish that I had coined that phrase, but I didn't. It's often credited to legendary pro football coach Vince Lombardi.

This is why, over my lifetime, I've had numerous coaches to help me develop whatever natural talent I have. I've had coaches for public speaking, writing, ideas/creativity, running marathons, golf, tennis, water skiing, swimming, bowling and basketball, to name only a few. I've even had a dance coach ... thanks to my wife.

Why do I have all of these coaches? Because whatever my God-given talent is, whatever my God-given potential is -- that's it. I can't do any better. But I will still try to do the best I can, with the best help I can get.

If I have a project, I'll have a time and action calendar, get the best coaching I can find and then try my hardest, focus and give it all I've got.

Should I feel pressure? Yes, but I will use it to my advantage. I'm as prepared as I can be. I can't do any more.

Research shows that one of the key ways to deal with pressure is to have a feeling of control. And what better way to be in control than to be prepared and experienced?

Take NASA as an example. NASA puts all its astronauts through situations they might encounter in space. Who can even begin to think about what might happen out there in the starry void? The moon is more than 238,000 miles away from Earth! Pressure? You better believe it. But they are prepared. If you are familiar with what is happening to and around you, you will have a powerful feeling of confidence.

Let's face it: No matter what, you are going to be in high-pressure situations. No one is free from pressure. It can't be avoided. Don't panic. Don't lose your cool. Concentrate. Return to fundamentals. Get your confidence back.

As simple as it sounds, try taking deep, relaxing breaths. Pressure often causes people to breathe more quickly and shallowly. Deep breathing allows oxygen to more efficiently enter the blood and the brain, which will help you think more clearly.

Don't stress over what you cannot control. Everybody gets a curveball now and then. Shake it off the best you can. Be flexible and appreciate adversity. It will help you grow stronger.

As Jacques Plante, a former professional hockey goalie for the Montreal Canadiens once said, "How would you like it in your job if every time you made a small mistake, a red light went on over your desk and 15,000 people stood up and yelled at you?"

Try to relax. Things could be worse.

Mackay's Moral: A diamond is a chunk of coal that made good under pressure.

life

Discover Your Values for a Greater Life

Harvey Mackay by by Harvey Mackay
by Harvey Mackay
Harvey Mackay | October 20th, 2014

One of the most important traits of any person is the value system by which he or she lives. I wonder how many of us ever take the time to sit down and really think through the moral precepts that consciously or unconsciously guide our lives.

I stumbled across this personal creed of 12 values -- often attributed to writer Robert Louis Stevenson ("Treasure Island") and certainly based on many of his writings -- many years ago, and I've always wanted to write about it because it is as true today as it was whenever it was written.

1. Make up your mind to be happy. Learn to find pleasure in simple things.

2. Make the best of your circumstances. No one has everything, and everyone has something of sorrow intermingled with the gladness of life. The trick is to make the laughter outweigh the tears.

3. Don't take yourself too seriously. Don't think that somehow you should be protected from misfortunes that befall others.

4. You can't please everybody. Don't let criticism worry you.

5. Don't let your neighbor set your standards. Be yourself.

6. Do the things you enjoy doing, but stay out of debt.

7. Don't borrow trouble. Imaginary things are harder to bear than the actual ones.

8. Since hate poisons the soul, do not cherish enmities and grudges. Avoid people who make you unhappy.

9. Have many interests. If you can't travel, read about new places.

10. Don't hold postmortems. Don't spend your life brooding over sorrows and mistakes. Don't be one who never gets over things.

11. Do what you can for those less fortunate than yourself.

12. Keep busy at something. A very busy person never has time to be unhappy.

What a terrific list! Can you imagine what the world would look like if we all followed such a code?

While I agree with all of these thoughts, I suspect we could all add a thing or two to fit our own needs. And I would encourage you to take some time to do just that in the near future. See if doing so doesn't help you define your goals and dreams.

What is really important to you? How do you want to conduct your life? What are you willing to do -- or not do -- in order to have the life you want? Is there a line you will not cross?

It is reasonable to expect that most adults would do their best to do the right thing. And that has taken on a new importance in the world we live in, where our words and deeds are often subject to cameras and shared online for the world to see. But having an established value system goes beyond that -- it takes the guesswork out. Because you have already thought about how you want to live and be perceived, your responses and reactions can often be automatic. You won't even have to think about them.

A remarkable book by retired Navy SEAL Mark Divine might provide the inspiration you need to organize your thoughts. In "The Way of the SEAL," Divine recalls his own experience of defining his purpose at officer candidate school.

His SEAL commander asked him what he stood for. His answer: "Justice, integrity and leadership," was not enough for the commander.

After some reflection, Divine wrote his personal stand:

-- "Destiny will favor me if I am prepared in mind, body, and spirit."

-- "I must work harder than expected and be more patient than others."

-- "Leadership is a privilege, not a right."

-- "As a warrior, I will be the last to pick up my sword but will fight to protect myself, my family, my country and my way of life."

-- "I will find my peace and happiness through seeking truth, wisdom and love, and not by chasing thrills, wealth, titles or fame."

-- "I will seek to improve myself, my team and the world every day."

So there you have it: two shining examples of personal values that -- even though separated by multiple decades -- still ring true. I challenge you to take some time and take a stand.

Mackay's Moral: If you live by a great value system, your life will have great value.

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