Hercules, according to legend, grew increasingly irritated by a strange, menacing animal that kept blocking his path. In a fit of anger, he struck the animal with his club, killing it. As he continued his path, he kept encountering the same animal, each time larger and more menacing than before. At last, a wise messenger appeared and warned Hercules to stop his furious assaults.

"The monster is Strife, and you are stirring it up," said the messenger. "Just let it alone and it will shrivel and cease to trouble you."

We all have conflict in our lives, whether at home or at work. How we deal with it determines whether it conquers us.

Conflict in the workplace means less commitment in the workforce.

Human resources managers report that they spend anywhere from 24 percent to 60 percent of their time trying to resolve workplace conflicts, according to a survey by the Society for Human Resource Management (SHRM). SHRM says that almost 60 percent of survey respondents have seen violent incidents in their workplace over the last three years, with "personality conflicts" as the main cause.

More troubling results from researchers at the University of North Carolina revealed:

-- Fifty-three percent of workers have lost time at work over worries about a previous or potential confrontation with a colleague.

-- Twenty-eight percent have lost work time in their attempts to avoid confrontations.

-- Thirty-seven percent are less committed to their employer because of a hostile workplace altercation.

-- Twenty-two percent say they're putting less effort into their work due to conflicts at work.

So why can't we all just get along?

Unless you work in a one-person operation, conflict is inevitable. There will be as many opinions as there are people. Most often, differences can be set aside and somehow, the work gets done.

While it is not unheard of for people to disagree, conflicts with co-workers or customers don't have to turn unpleasant. Peaceful resolution of issues starts with rational behavior, which requires all parties to put emotions aside.

But when a serious conflict arises, circumstances can change dramatically. Unresolved disagreements can cripple a workplace.

Before you blow your top, pause and listen. Stop whatever else you may be doing and focus on the situation. Pay attention to what the other person is saying, and demonstrate that you are listening carefully.

Make sure you know the real issue, and validate the other person's feelings with a response. Talk about how the two -- or three or more -- of you might solve the problem cooperatively. If the solution is your responsibility, tell the other person what you plan to do to resolve the problem, and when he or she can expect the matter to be settled.

And it's often effective to repeat yourself. When you have a point to get across and the other person is evasive and avoids it by bringing up side issues, changing the subject, asking you nonproductive questions, or intimidating you with his or her point of view, calmly keep repeating your point of view or question. Keep the discussion focused on the central issue and refuse to be drawn into a spitting match.

If you come to the realization that your actions may have initiated the problem, accept or recognize your error or mistake. Everyone is entitled to an occasional mistake, but taking responsibility is an important first step. It is better to acknowledge the situation than to feel guilty or defensive about what has happened.

When someone makes a negative statement about you, ask for specific information. Use it to correct your behavior. However, if you feel someone is manipulating you, or just using you as a convenient target, keep asking for specifics. Chances are, they will get tired of the whole thing and give up.

Remember, it's no fun to fight with people who won't fight back. Show some restraint, and your attacker will likely move on to his or her next victim -- and will leave you alone.

One final piece of advice: Don't involve other co-workers in your disagreement. Recruiting supporters should be limited to political campaigns and athletic teams. Drawing battle lines in the workplace is immature and unprofessional. And it will eventually lead to an unproductive environment that will snowball into yet another conflict: Who will be willing to give me a recommendation when I am looking for my next job?

Mackay's Moral: Conflict resolution doesn't have to be a Herculean task -- but it requires inner strength.

No one ever accused Larry Winget of mincing words. Larry, who is often referred to as the Pitbull of Personal Development, wouldn't take kindly to it anyway. His books, speeches and television appearances leave no doubt about where he stands and why he feels the way he does.

I admire Larry's courage to speak plainly and without concern for "political correctness," particularly when writing about a topic that involves convictions and self-confidence.

His latest book is bound to pop a few eyeballs, probably starting with the title: "Grow a Pair: How to Stop Being a Victim and Take Back Your Life, Your Business, and Your Sanity." Larry assures readers that the title refers to an attitude, not anatomy.

"Growing a pair is a state of mind, an attitude, and a way of thinking," he writes. "It's about giving up being a victim and taking control of your life at every level.

He adds: "It is the willingness to do the right thing even when everyone else is doing the wrong thing. It has roots in personal responsibility. It's about drawing lines in the sand. It's about knowing yourself, knowing your values, and becoming uncompromising in your willingness to do whatever it takes to stand up for them ... Don't you agree that our society is in desperate need of developing that mindset?"

I will happily answer: Yes.

Larry attributes the social shift in part to the entitlement mentality, attitudes developed during the hippie generation, and the idea that people will do whatever they can get away with. He says: "People will do anything and everything they can until someone stops them from doing it and sets limits and imposes consequences. Therefore, the solution to this problem is to let people get away with less."

He writes: "Stop tolerating stupidity and poor performance. Stop letting people get away with bad behavior. Break this natural cycle with yourself, your family, and with your co-workers and employees. It won't change the world, but it just might change your world."

He offers a list of 16 questions to determine whether you have "a pair." Among them: Do you allow people to take advantage of you? Do you find yourself picking up the slack for lazy co-workers? Do you often feel responsible for other people and their feelings? Do you find yourself compromising your opinions and beliefs in an effort to get along? Do people mistreat you emotionally, verbally, psychologically or physically?

Answer those questions with a "yes, but" and Larry will remind you that you need to work on yourself.

On the other hand, he wants readers to answer "yes" to questions such as: Do you stand up for yourself and your beliefs even in the face of conflict? Do you recognize your problems as problems but know that with some hard work and a little sweat you will get through it? Do you speak up when you see someone else being mistreated?

I was fascinated at the variety of inspirational sources Larry quotes in his book, ranging from Mahatma Gandhi to Benjamin Franklin to Winston Churchill. Those are role models of honesty and courage for any age.

Larry offers very practical advice for developing the gumption to change your life. In fact, he breaks it into two dozen categories and explains them very clearly.

The one that stands out for me is "Make big, bold, brash, ballsy plans." He says: "No one ever wrote down a plan to be fat, broke, stupid, lazy, unhappy, and mediocre. These are the things that happen when you don't have a plan."

I am an inveterate planner. My mantra has always been "Prepare to win." As I like to say, people don't plan to fail; they fail to plan. Larry puts it this way: "Most people never expect anything bad to ever happen to them until it already has."

Larry also insists that setting clear priorities signals that you are in control of your own life. "People don't live the life they dream of because it isn't important enough for them to do what it takes to live that kind of life. Priorities determine your actions, and your actions determine your results ... Your time, energy, and money always go to what's important to you."

Now you see why Larry Winget is known as the Pitbull of Personal Development. Read his gripping advice, and you won't roll over and play dead ever again.

Mackay's Moral: Control your life or it will control you.

I will go to the ends of the earth to find ways to improve communication and salesmanship, so I was delighted to be invited to Israel in July to be briefed by the creme-de-la-creme of Israel's intelligence community. Wall-to-wall meetings introduced me to 25 top strategists, military commanders and technology entrepreneurs. Why is the Israeli intelligence gathering so widely envied and emulated? Its discipline, attention to detail and passion are breathtaking. These same traits that distinguish Israel's national intelligence program are easy to spot in the country's economy, which is increasingly dominated by entrepreneurial, high-tech innovators in breakthrough industries like 3D printing.

Israel's leading "serial entrepreneur," Yossi Vardi, has built more than 60 companies and sold a couple of them to the likes of Microsoft and AOL. He believes an appreciation for risk and opportunity fuels the drive to innovate. Israelis have learned to focus on innovation with a practical payback. Yossi told me: "In the U.S., risk means the chance you'll lose your money. In Israel, risk means missiles will be buzzing around your head if you make a mistake."

According to The Economist, Israeli military spending is the fifth highest per capita worldwide. However, as a percent of GDP, it's dived from 17.7 percent in 1991 to 6 percent today. The priority battlefield concerns now downplay the traditional tanks-and-troops profile. Cyber-warfare has soared in importance, along with pre-emptive intelligence.

Israel may be swimming in advanced technology, but the sway of tradition is unmistakable. World-renowned activist Natan Sharansky invited me to Sabbath dinner with his family. Originally, I planned to step through a bevy of questions I had entered on my iPad. Instead I had to work from memory. As custom has it, the only lights on a Sabbath dinner table flicker from the candles.

The high point of my visit was a rousing hour-long one-on-one with Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu. In August 1999, I first met with Netanyahu when I was honored by the AISH Hatorah organization, along with then U.S. Senator John Kerry and then U.S. House Speaker Newt Gingrich. After his first term as prime minister, Netanyahu had turned his attention to plans to retool Israel's economy to its dazzling new look.

Before I began my recent meeting in the Prime Minister's office, Ron Dermer, Israel's new ambassador to the United States, confided in me: "Harvey, this is the first time in my career I've had a boss who works harder than I do. He's simply 24/7." I suspected I would be talking with a leader as dedicated to successful meeting preparation as I am. Netanyahu did not disappoint.

Time and again, I've emphasized how much any leader today has to be a consummate salesperson. Netanyahu may be unmatched in his salesmanship flair among the many senior statesmen I've met. He used his time with me to step through his national agenda with ease and impact.

Netanyahu's account of whittling down tax rates and making telephone costs competitive was exact. His economics were as precise as his passion for preserving Jewish history was intense. The seemingly endless supply of facts and ideas made their mark. None, though, resonated as much as the fact that I was experiencing a gifted communicator at his best.

What made the prime minister's communication so forceful yet appealing? I captured my reactions immediately after the meeting. I listed signature points that summed up Netanyahu's expert communications command.

The first indications could be considered primarily stylistic:

-- Firm handshake.

-- Penetrating eye contact.

-- Easy, laid-back humor.

-- Modulated speaking, ranging from a haunting whisper to a bellowing laugh.

-- Engaging smile.

-- Poise.

These highly appealing trimmings only worked because the meat-and-potatoes of the prime minister's comments were so solid. That's where the second set of traits played such a powerful part:

-- Authoritative command of content.

-- Focus in clearly making each of his points.

-- Passion for his messages.

-- Conviction that his course was right.

-- Confidence that he and his team knew how to prevail.

-- Charisma in presenting his message so it registered on the emotions as much as intellect.

Guess what? You don't need to clock time at the United Nations General Assembly to develop this sort of expertise. These are the same skills that are the stock-in-trade of communications training outfits like Toastmasters International and Dale Carnegie. Go investigate. Whether it's widgets or world policy, salesmanship skills work wonders.

Mackay's Moral: You don't have to be a prime minister to be a prime mover.