A little boy was spending his Saturday morning playing in his sandbox. He had cars and trucks, his plastic pail, and a shiny red shovel. In the process of creating roads and tunnels in the soft sand, he discovered a large rock in the middle of the sandbox.

The boy dug around the rock, managing to dislodge it from the dirt. With a little bit of struggle, he pushed and nudged the large rock across the sandbox by using his feet. When the boy got the rock to the edge of the sandbox, he found that he couldn't roll it up and over the wall of the sandbox. Every time he made some progress, the rock tipped and then fell back into the sandbox.

Frustrated, he burst into tears. All this time the boy's father watched from his living room window. As the tears fell, a large shadow fell across the boy and the sandbox. It was his father. Gently but firmly he said, "Son, why didn't you use all the strength that you had available?"

Defeated, the boy sobbed back, "But I did, Daddy, I did! I used all the strength that I had!"

"No, son," corrected the father kindly. "You didn't use all the strength you had. You didn't ask me." With that, the father reached down, picked up the rock and removed it from the sandbox.

We all need help at some time. Don't be afraid to ask for it. As I like to say, don't say no for the other person.

Successful people rarely reach the top without a lot of help along the way. The ability -- and willingness -- to ask for help is one trait that really stands out among those who are truly committed to success.

I can personally attest to the necessity of asking for help. When I was a struggling 26-year-old with the dream of running my own factory, I quickly learned that there were plenty of people whose advice and help would move me toward my goal -- but only if I asked. And to my surprise, they were eager to share their wisdom, help me steer clear of potential bankrupting mistakes, and nudge me toward success.

As one who is often on the other side now, I appreciate the opportunity to advise and mentor entrepreneurs and emerging talents. When you are seeking advice from the experts, here are some items to consider:

-- Don't waste their time. Once they've agreed to help, get to the point quickly. Don't go through your life story in excruciating detail, or spend an hour explaining your business plan or the plot of your novel. Plan what you want to ask so you can make a clear, succinct request. Take notes so they know you value their input.

-- Get specific. Don't just ask, "What should I do?" Imagine you can ask only one question (because that may be the case). Identify the most important issue you're facing that your expert is qualified to address, and build your question around that. Be prepared in case you get a chance to ask a follow-up or move on to another subject. Don't assume you'll have all the time in the world to get to what you need.

-- Save one general question for the end. The corollary to the rule above is to save a few minutes to ask something like, "Is there anything else you'd recommend?" once you've gotten the answer to your essential question. This gives the expert a chance to expand on whatever information he or she has shared, and provides the opportunity to start building more of a relationship than a one-time transaction.

-- Give people options. When you approach an expert, ask for permission to probe his or her mind before starting to fire off questions. Give the other person some control over how to respond. It's polite and shows your consideration for the expert's time and workload.

-- Offer something in return. You're asking for a favor. Be ready to trade services, buy lunch, offer your own expertise, or reciprocate in some other form. This demonstrates your professionalism and commitment to building relationships; it shows that you're not just grabbing information and leaving right away.

Mackay's Moral: The fool asks the wise for advice, but the wise ask the experienced.

CNN recently interviewed a young woman doctor who had just returned from working in Africa. The reporter asked her the principal difference between practicing medicine in Mozambique and in the United States. "In Mozambique the people bring me little gifts," she told the interviewer. "A fistful of walnuts, some eggs, a chicken, whatever they can to express their gratitude.

"In the States," she said, "I get sued."

What kind of gratitude is that?

"Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all the others," said the Roman philosopher Cicero.

In America, we put gratitude on the calendar -- the fourth Thursday of November each year. You may recall your early American history -- two-thirds of the Pilgrims did not make it to the first Thanksgiving they celebrated. Harsh conditions and little food were daily challenges. According to H.U. Westermayer: "The Pilgrims made seven times more graves than huts. No Americans have been more impoverished than these who, nevertheless, set aside a day of thanksgiving."

But is one day really enough?

Two psychologists, Michael McCollough of Southern Methodist University in Dallas and Robert Emmons of the University of California at Davis, conducted an experiment on gratitude and its impact on well-being. Participants were divided into three different groups and asked to keep diaries. The first group wrote what happened during the day without being told specifically to write about either the good or bad things. The second group was told to record their unpleasant experiences. And the last group was instructed to make a daily list of things for which they were grateful.

The results of the study indicated that daily gratitude exercises resulted in higher reported levels of alertness, enthusiasm, determination, optimism and energy. In addition, the gratitude group also experienced less depression and stress, while helping others more and making greater progress toward achieving personal goals.

This is just one of the studies that gratitude expert Lisa Ryan writes about in her new book, "The Upside of Down Times: Discovering the Power of Gratitude." Ryan says: "Gratitude is not a now-and-then thing. We need a consistent practice of acknowledgement to keep our appreciation muscles strong."

She recommends keeping a gratitude journal, sending thank-you notes and cards, and consistently acknowledging and appreciating the people who make a difference in our lives.

Ryan writes: "Because the mind cannot experience two opposite emotions at the same time, it's important to keep yourself in a state of gratitude as often as you can. For instance, the next time you are having a bad day, take a moment to think about something that you're grateful for and you will start to move into a happier place."

She divides her book into four sections using the acronym SHOW. "S" is for Self because gratitude improves your attitude and outlook. "H" is for Health -- improved physical health results from appreciation. "O" is for Others -- acknowledgement influences and improves our relationships. "W" is for Wealth -- gratefulness has a positive impact on your bottom line.

One of the points that really struck me in her book is how people respond to receiving a "thank you" today. People now say, "It's no problem" ... "It's nothing" ... "Don't worry about it." Ryan says that's the same as taking a gift and throwing it back. We should accept the gift with a simple, "You're welcome."

Even when you can't acknowledge the gift-giver, you should still adopt an attitude of gratitude. Here's a story you might remember by Daniel Defoe.

When Robinson Crusoe was shipwrecked on his lonely isle, he drew up in two columns what he called the evil and the good. He was cast on a desolate island, but still alive -- not drowned, as all his ship's company were. He was divided from mankind and banished from human society, but he was not starving. He had no clothes, but he was in a hot climate where he didn't need them. He was without means of defense, but he saw no wild beasts, such as he had seen on the coast of Africa. He had no soul to speak to, but God had sent the ship so near to the shore that he could get out of it all things necessary for his wants. So he concluded that there was not any condition in the world so miserable that it didn't contain something positive for which to be thankful.

Mackay's Moral: Gratitude should be a continuous attitude.

Many times, in order to survive, we have to start a change process. Change, for most people, is an unnerving experience. But as the old saying goes, change is inevitable. It's one of the only constants in life.

I have said before that it is easy to change things. It is not so easy to change people. And therein lies the rub. As author Bruce Barton observed, "When you are through changing, you are through."

Most organizations won't survive if they don't learn how to change as they grow and adapt to market conditions. But employees sometimes resist anything new -- not because they're stubborn or old-fashioned, but for these basic reasons:

-- They don't see the need. Management must explain why the change is necessary -- how it will help the company, customers and employees themselves. Set the stage for people. If employees don't know what's happening in the company and in its industry, they won't see any reason to do things differently. Share as much as possible about finances, problems the organization is facing, and what's likely to happen if nothing is done.

-- They're afraid of the unknown. Employees may not understand exactly what they'll have to do differently, or how the change will affect their daily lives. Or they may worry that they don't have the skills they'll need to adapt. Tell them what's changing, and give them the training and support required.

-- Management didn't seek their input. Employees need a sense of control over their work and their careers. Include them in planning from the beginning. Employees who know how the organization functions at the ground level will be able to help target the right areas for change, and they'll be more comfortable with the result. Consider everyone who'll be affected, from front-line employees to high management, as well as customers and other stakeholders. Provide them with updates on progress. Ask them how it's going and what could speed things along.

-- They're exhausted. Downsizings, reorganizations, new products and revamped org charts can take their toll. Employees may feel they don't have it in them to go through another major overhaul. Take their feelings into account when announcing any new direction so they know management understands what they're going through.

-- They aren't focused on the long term. Change is a process, not a single event. Emphasize that it will take time, and to be successful, people will have to look to the future, not to short-term gains and losses. Remember that performance won't be transformed overnight. Once a company has restructured, implemented new systems or launched new strategies, allow adequate time for a learning curve. Don't be so impatient for results so as to sabotage people's efforts.

-- They don't see commitment from the top. Change needs to start at the highest levels of the organization. If management is not setting a spectacular example, demonstrating an absolutely united front, then the rank and file has no reason to jump on board. Will every manager immediately embrace new practices and procedures? They will if they value their jobs!

Be prepared for some resistance, and be willing to periodically assess changes to see if they are really producing the expected results. Then, and only then, if the outcome isn't satisfactory, reassess and figure out how to change things for the better.

In his best-selling book "Who Moved My Cheese?" Spencer Johnson used a parable to dramatize human resistance to change. The story contains four imaginary characters named Sniff, Scurry, Hem and Haw.

Sniff and Scurry are two mice. Hem and Haw are "little people," small as mice but containing all the qualities of human beings. All four characters are intended to represent the simple and the complex parts of ourselves, regardless of our age, gender, race or nationality.

According to the book's introduction, sometimes we may act like:

-- Sniff, who sniffs out change early, or

-- Scurry, who scurries into action at the slightest provocation, or

-- Hem, who denies and resists change as he fears it will lead to something worse, or

-- Haw, who learns to adapt in time when he sees changing leads to something better.

"Whatever parts of us we choose to use," Johnson writes, "we all share something in common: a need to find our way in the maze and succeed in changing times."

Mackay's Moral: The only people who like change are wet babies.