There was a little boy with a bad temper. His father gave him a bag of nails and told him, every time he lost his temper, to hammer a nail in the back fence. The first week the boy had driven 37 nails into the fence. It gradually dwindled down as he discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive those nails into the fence.

Finally the day came when the boy didn't lose his temper at all. His father suggested that the boy now pull out one nail for each day that he was able to hold his temper until all the nails were gone.

Then the father led him to the fence and said, "You have done well, my son, but look at the holes in the fence. The fence will never be the same. When you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one. A verbal wound is as bad as a physical one."

With Father's Day coming up Sunday, June 16, I'd like to share some of the fatherly advice I received while growing up, and especially while getting my start in business.

Jack Mackay taught me about time management. I still remember him telling me, "If you want to go fishing tomorrow, be on the dock at 2 p.m. sharp." There I was, at 2:05 p.m., waving bon voyage to my dad who was driving away in the boat without his fishing buddy. Tough love, lesson learned.

My dad insisted that 25 percent of my time should be spent on volunteering, advice I've continued to follow. In addition to the benefit to the organization, you have an unusual opportunity to hone your selling skills, learn how to run meetings, prepare reports, serve on committees, supervise others, handle rejection and many other skills that can help you in your career, all while serving your community.

"One of the most powerful things you can do to influence others is to smile at them," my dad said. Not to be outdone, my mother used to tell me that a smile is an inexpensive way to improve my looks: "If you're happy, tell your face."

About reputation, my dad quoted the adage, "You spend your whole lifetime building a good name and reputation, and one foolish act can destroy it." Dad was a big believer in aphorisms, which is why I end every column with a Mackay's Moral.

Most importantly, Jack Mackay taught me about networking. When I was 18, he told me that everyone I met should go in a Rolodex file along with a little information about that person to help to creatively keep in touch. You never know when your paths might cross again.

Greg Hague, an Arizona attorney and businessman, has come up with a website which he calls Savvy Dad (savvydad.com). Every day, he features a new story from a son or daughter on some special experience with their dad and how it positively impacted their life. His readership is nearing 40,000. His book, "How Fathers Change Lives," is now available from his website.

Greg shared a lesson from his father: "People focus on role models, but it's more effective to find anti-models — people you don't want to resemble when you grow up."

Lise Johnson told the story of her father's devotion to her mom, who became terminally ill. When she was moved to hospice, he stayed with her around the clock. He helped feed and bathe her. One nurse told Lise that she was engaged when she started her mom's care, but no longer. "I didn't know devotion like that existed in this world. I will find a man like your dad."

Our mutual friend Randy Garn, a Utah businessman, remembered how, as a 16-year-old, he asked his dad if he could borrow the car on a Friday night. His dad said yes, but to be home by 11 p.m., or the upcoming prom was at stake. Well, Randy lost track of the time and got home after 1 a.m. He tiptoed upstairs to his room and thought he was safe until he slid into bed and discovered he wasn't alone! His dad was lying there waiting for him.

"I'm not mad, but the prom is now gone," his dad said, without anger. "Randy, I love you so much, but unlike what you did tonight, I do what I say."

Mackay's Moral: It's funny about fatherly advice: The better it is, the harder it is to take.

When the phone rings and the caller is asking for a couple hours of your time to help with a worthy cause, you have two obvious responses: yes or no.

Unless that call is from the Arizona Foundation for Women, a remarkable organization that helps women overcome obstacles, find safe sanctuary, job training and employment, and empower them to say, "Yes I can!"

Of course, I was delighted to answer the call to act as emcee at the AFW's annual Sandra Day O'Connor Luncheon, which was a sold-out event for nearly 900 guests. The foundation honors three people each year for their contributions to the welfare of women and children. This year's Lifetime Achievement honoree was Goldie Hawn, a perfect choice.

I've long admired Ms. Hawn as an Academy Award-winning actress, producer and director. I was less familiar with her work at the Hawn Foundation, which Goldie established to support research into developing ways of helping children become healthy and eager learners. The more I heard, the more I realized that this foundation may be Goldie's best work yet.

After her acceptance speech I was lucky enough to interview her for nearly half an hour about her fascinating projects. She was thought-provoking, content-rich and hilarious.

Her foundation has developed a school curriculum, MindUP, which teaches children vital social and emotional skills that empower them to manage and reduce their own stress, helping them to be happy. The evidence-based program, which is now taught in schools across five continents, combines neuroscience, positive psychology, and social and emotional learning, in tandem with mindfulness. The result is young people who are living smarter, healthier and happier lives.

Among the lessons that enhance learning, children are encouraged to:

-- Learn how their brains react to emotions.

-- Take daily "brain breaks" and focus on breathing.

-- Practice mindful sensing -- exploring sight, taste, smell, hearing and motion.

-- Consider the differences between optimism and pessimism.

-- Learn to savor happiness.

-- Learn perspective and how to view differing results.

-- Focus on compassion and empathy.

-- Discover the importance of generosity and a sense of social responsibility.

-- Perform random acts of kindness.

-- Engage in practical problem-solving and critical thinking.

Does this sound like a program that should be limited to children? I certainly don't think so!

She explains this whole concept in her new book, "10 Mindful Minutes," which I highly recommend. As Goldie says, "What I do know is that MindUP works for children, so its principles can work for parents too." I would extend that to all adults, including those who don't have kids.

Mindfulness, she says, is "the conscious awareness of our current thoughts, feelings and surroundings -- and accepting this awareness with openness and curiosity in a nonjudgmental way. It means focusing on non-doing, a crucial skill in these distracted times. It is more important than ever to teach ourselves and our children how to concentrate, so that we'll become aware when we've lost focus and be able to maintain our attention for longer periods of time."

This differs from thinking in which she says "we often judge each moment by what has been or what could be."

Goldie concludes her book with a "toolbox" for living a more mindful life. The helpful lists and gentle lessons make her program easy to follow and implement. She encourages readers to find 10 mindful minutes each day "to help reduce stress, renew your mind for clearer thinking, and create greater focus and connectivity with your children."

What impressed me most about Goldie's book were the personal reflections that are sprinkled throughout. She shares observations from experts, educators, parents and children who explain the positive effects of the program.

I was particularly interested in how she turned her entrepreneurial skills, which she didn't even know she had, into a powerhouse foundation helping millions of children.

When you think about it, she's been an entrepreneur all her life. She had to go out and get jobs, use her sales and marketing prowess in heavy competition with other actors, producers and directors, hire staff, and use creativity, passion and vision to do all these things. Now she's put together all these skills to establish her foundation with an impressive board of directors. That's mindfulness at its finest!

Mackay's Moral: Goldie's book and program are solid gold!

When I am hired to speak to a company or association, I typically talk ahead of time to six to eight people who will be in the audience to get a better sense of the group. I ask them a series of questions about creative selling, teamwork, negotiations, how they get close to their customers and so on. Then I surprise them and ask what they do to get better at their jobs.

Over the years some of the typical answers I've received include: going back to school to learn new skills or get another degree, joining trade organizations and attending events, networking, listening to speakers, reading everything they can get their hands on, being more available, working harder and smarter, improving people skills and many more.

These are all great ideas, but I'd like to add to the list and share some of my ideas:

-- Improve your time management. Most people fail because they let time manage them. Time becomes a crook. Often it's the people who make the worst use of their time who complain there is never enough of it.

-- Get organized. This will not only improve your productivity, but it will streamline your life, lower your stress and save you money. The Wall Street Journal reported that the average U.S. executive wastes six weeks per year retrieving misplaced information from messy desks and files. (I'm still working on this.)

-- Stay positive. Positive thinking is more than just a tagline; it changes the way we behave. And I firmly believe that when I'm positive, it not only makes me better, but it also makes those around me better. Positive thinking turns obstacles into opportunities.

-- Write down your goals. Goals not only give you more than a reason to get up in the morning, but they are an incentive to keep you going all day. Goals tend to tap deeper resources and draw the best out of life. Achieving goals produces significant accomplishments.

-- Learn to compromise. When you observe the politics in Washington, compromise appears to be a lost art. Maybe that's because it often is looked upon as weakness. Nothing could be further from the truth. Business involves constant compromise -- negotiating contracts, hiring, closing sales and so on. Compromise is the art of dividing a cake in such a way that all parties think they got the biggest piece.

-- Exercise your mind and body. Taking care of business starts with taking care of yourself. Exercise makes me feel better and gives me energy to work more productively. My philosophy is, exercise doesn't take time; it makes time.

-- Develop your confidence. Confidence doesn't come naturally to most people. Even the most successful people have struggled with it in their careers. The good news is that you can develop confidence just like any muscle or character trait. Some tips: Improve your skills, keep track of your success, practice being assertive and step out of your comfort zone.

-- Improve your relationship with your boss. A good relationship with your boss is the foundation of a successful career. Your boss is the person most likely to recognize your contributions and achievements and potentially recommend you for promotions. Strive for a positive work environment.

-- Surround yourself with mentors and coaches. You can't do it all by yourself. Seek out the very best help you can find to take your game to the next level. On the flip side, don't shy away from mentoring younger workers because business is a team sport.

-- Practice public speaking. Most people dread public speaking, but few skills are more important. Public speaking improves your confidence and communication skills and helps you think better on your feet. How you say things can be as important as what you say. Join Toastmasters International, one of the best-kept secrets in the world. (I did.)

-- Learn to love feedback. You can learn from anyone if you are open to accepting feedback from not only your manager, but also from colleagues and customers. If you really believe in yourself, you'll be open to criticism, learn from it and improve your performance.

The main thing is that you keep working on you. Life is like riding a bicycle. You don't fall off unless you stop pedaling.

Mackay's Moral: Improvement begins with I.