Follow the leader. It's more than just a child's game; it's a fundamental skill in business.

John Maxwell is one of the most respected experts in the field of leadership. He's written more than 70 books, most of which focus on leadership. Many have graced the New York Times best-seller list.

You may have heard John preach on the Hour of Power broadcasts from the Crystal Cathedral. John's clients range from a National Football League team to West Point and a Fortune 500 company. More than 100,000 people listen to him every month and are members of the Maximum Impact Club. He's the source of countless quotes that inspire the lives of millions of people.

John Maxwell offered up so many golden nuggets when I recently interviewed him that I want to share some of them with you.

John warns: "Too often we get to the top of the mountain and say, 'Here we are as leaders. Come up here and join me.' We don't understand that you've got to go to where the people are.

"The first responsibility of a leader is to find out where people are and connect with them. Then when you connect with them, you can relate to them, and you can move them."

Relationships are the foundation of leadership. You have to develop trust. As John says, "People won't go along with you until they get along with you." You have to get close to your people and connect with them. This goes against the previous generation, which felt there needed to be distance between leaders and their people.

I asked John, "What kinds of leadership experiences do businesspeople often lack?"

He talked about how most people believe that experience is the best teacher, but he disagrees.

"Experience is essential to successful leadership, although I don't think experience is the best teacher. Just because you are getting older and more experienced, doesn't mean you're getting better,” John said. “I know a lot of people who are getting older, but even if they've done the job for 30 years, they're not getting any better. They're not growing. They're not learning."

John also talked about the Achilles heel for a lot of leaders: They get a little momentum going, and they celebrate but don't reflect. He thinks leaders should do more reflection and less celebration.

To reflect on his experiences, John asks, "What did I learn? What am I learning at this stage? And what am I going to change?"

He even has a reflection chair! "If you have a place to think, you'll start thinking," John reasons.

One of John's most memorable quotes is, "Change is inevitable; growth is optional." So I asked him to explain.

"Growth is not an automatic process. You and I will not grow automatically. It just doesn't happen,” he said. “We don't grow because we live. We don't grow because we breathe. We don't grow because we get a day older. If we're going to grow, we're going to grow because we're intentional about it. I've found that when I stop learning, I stop leading."

John feels everyone should have a growth plan. He believes you need to discover your strengths and grow them through a daily plan.

"Don't take the time to focus on your weak areas, because all you will do is get to average," he warns. "And people don't pay for average."

In addition to growing your strengths, John believes you have to do one more thing. Every morning you have to ask yourself the question, "Who can I add value to today?"

"When you do this, all of a sudden the influence index on your life just takes off like a rocket. People want to be around you. They like to be with you.

"I started teaching leadership because I truly believe that if a person could learn to lead, they would be successful. I began to realize that if I could help people change their thinking, they could change their life.

"It all goes back to the Zig Ziglar quote," he said. "'If you help people get what they want, guess what, they help you get what you want.'"

Mackay's Moral: "A successful person finds the right place for himself. But a successful leader finds the right place for others." -- John Maxwell

A few months ago I wrote a column about what they don't teach you in school. From the positive responses and suggestions I received, it became quite apparent that formal education is a good beginning, but real world experience is also necessary to get ahead.

The prior list included concepts such as taking responsibility for promoting yourself, maintaining a positive attitude, the importance of a smile and handling rejection.

Here's my additional list:

-- Life isn't fair. How many times do you hear this phrase, especially from young people? It's true, and you still have to deal with it. Whining about it rarely levels the playing field, but learning to rise above it is the ultimate reward.

-- Think outside the box. There is no substitute for creativity. Take stock of your usual practices and look for new and better ways to do things. When something has been done the same way for a long period of time, sometimes it's a good sign that it's being done the wrong way.

-- Exercise is good for you. I've always been active in sports, but one of the best decisions I ever made was when I became a runner more than 50 years ago. Being in shape keeps my energy high and my attitude positive. Studies show that companies that promote exercise have decreased absenteeism, greater productivity, better performance and improved morale.

-- Be nice to everyone. It's nice to be important, but more important to be nice. You don't know who your top customers will be five years from now or where you will be in 10 years. You may have a fancy title, but you will always need help from the people around you.

-- You do not get what you want, you get what you negotiate. One of the skills that has made the biggest difference in my career is negotiating. It applies to selling, purchasing, hiring, firing, expanding, downsizing and every other phase of business.

-- Good manners never go out of style. Whether it's responding to an invitation, answering the phone or email, or showing simple respect, we expose our own weaknesses when we display thoughtless or boorish behavior. One of the nastiest names someone can call you is "rude." Especially because it doesn't take any more effort to be polite -- and it takes a whole lot of work to restore your good reputation.

-- Visualization. I believe that visualization is one of the most powerful means of achieving personal goals. Many people, especially athletes and celebrities, have discovered the amazing power of visualization and have used it to enhance their careers and achieve their goals and dreams. They visualize that they are not quitters. They will not allow circumstances to keep them down. If seeing is believing, visualizing is achieving.

-- Practice humility. Humility is becoming a lost art in an era of self-promotion and making sure you get all the credit you deserve. Humility is not difficult to practice. It doesn't involve downplaying your achievements. It doesn't mean that you won't be recognized for your contributions. It does mean that you realize that others have been involved in your success and you are prepared to be involved in theirs. Anyone who thinks he or she is indispensable should stick a finger in a bowl of water and notice the hole it leaves when the finger is pulled out.

-- Encouragement is oxygen for the soul. People love us not for who we are but for how we make them feel. People appreciate sincere recognition and praise. People tend to live up to the recognition they receive. Encouraging words have tremendous power.

-- Enthusiasm is the spark that ignites lives. If you aren't excited about hitting the pavement every day, it will show in your performance. Pros are always enthusiastic about doing their job to the best of their ability. Napoleon Hill, one of my favorite authors, writes, "You have absolute control over but one thing, and that is your thoughts." You can control your own destiny.

-- Teamwork is not just important in sports. There are few human endeavors that are truly solo acts. I have been on all sorts of teams, and those that yielded the most successful results recognized the contributions of those at every level. A capable team captain plays on the strengths of all the team members -- and understands the value of a well-delivered pep talk.

Mackay's Moral: An old dog can learn new tricks, and a new dog can learn old tricks.

During the Civil War, President Lincoln was urged by a friend to give up Forts Sumter and Pickens and all government property in the Southern states. In reply, Lincoln said, "Do you remember the fable of the lion and the woodsman's daughter?"

Aesop writes that a lion was very much in love with a woodsman's daughter. The fair maid referred him to her father. And the lion went to the father and asked for her hand.

The father replied: "Your teeth are too long."

The lion went to a dentist and had them extracted. Returning, he asked again for his bride.

"No," said the woodsman. "Your claws are too long."

Going to the doctor, he had the claws removed. Then he returned to claim his bride, and the woodsman, seeing that he was unarmed, beat out his brains.

"May it not be so with me," concluded Lincoln, "if I give up all that is asked?"

I learned a long time ago that you can't give anything away in negotiations without receiving something in return. I also know that the most important term in any contract isn't the contract. It's dealing with people who are honest.

Before you start any negotiation, look beyond the title and make sure that the person you're dealing with is in a position of authority to sign off on the agreement.

No matter what industry you're in, or how far you go in your career, the ability to effectively negotiate can make the difference between success and mediocrity. It doesn't matter whether it's a multimillion-dollar contract, a job offer or a house sale. The rules of good negotiating are the same:

Know what you want. Don't go to the table without a clear, realistic idea of what you want to achieve. It will help you negotiate with confidence.

Ask for what you want. Don't be afraid to make the first offer. You'll set the tone for the discussion, and studies suggest that the negotiator who goes first usually comes closer to getting what he or she wants. While I often counsel people to let the other person go first, someone has to start the process. I have found that either way, I need to be clear about my expectations or I will be disappointed.

Understand what your adversary wants. A successful negotiation should satisfy both sides. Instead of trying to crush your competition, find out what he or she hopes to get, and try to work together toward a solution that works for you both.

Don't concede unilaterally. Usually, one side or the other has to give up something. If you offer something, be sure to get a comparable concession from the other person. Giving away something for nothing will be taken as a weakness to be exploited. The playing field needs to be level. You don't have to accept being bullied.

Don't rush. Time can be your friend if you're willing to wait for the right deal. If the other side senses a deadline, he or she may be motivated to hold out until the last minute, or try to force you into accepting unreasonable terms. Be patient and let the time pressure work against the other side.

Be ready to walk away. This can take a certain amount of courage, but it's necessary to avoid being backed into an agreement you don't want. If possible, keep an ally in reserve -- someone with the power to approve or reject the deal. This can give you an out if you need to turn down a deal, or motivate the other side to make the best offer possible.

Listen. Sometimes what the other side says is not the same as what they want. They say the price is too high, but their most important demand is quality, which almost always costs a little (or a lot) more. Pay attention for cues that will help you direct your response to a better outcome for all.

Financier J.P. Morgan once wanted to buy a large Minnesota ore mine from John D. Rockefeller. So Rockefeller sent his son, John D. Jr., to talk to Morgan.

Morgan asked, "Well, what's your price?"

He was unprepared for the response. Junior said: "Mr. Morgan, I think there must be some mistake. I did not come here to sell; I understood you wanted to buy."

Mackay's Moral: There is no such thing as a final offer.