DEAR ABBY: Eighteen months ago, I was staying with my son and his family when they had a get-together with his wife, "Corrine's," father. His wife, Corrine's stepmother, had just finished chemo for several different types of cancer. When Corrine's dad went to leave, I offered to put together a small plate for his wife, hoping it would make her feel better.

When Corrine saw this from the outside, she came in and accused me of "giving away family food that her son might want." They have lots of money, and I replied that I just thought it would be nice for the recovering woman, and if Corrine thought she needed more food for her son, I'd be happy to get it.

My son and his wife have barely spoken to me since. I have offered to meet them for counseling and have sent my grandson little gifts every month, which have gone unacknowledged. I saw them for the first time last month at a family wedding. They barely said a word, and my son avoided me. The rest of the family could not believe how rude they were to me.

I don't know what else to do. I have reached out. I've written notes. When I talk with my son on the phone, he's receptive. Then he talks to his wife, and all of a sudden, nothing is acceptable. Please help. -- ESTRANGED IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR ESTRANGED: Could there be more behind this than you have mentioned -- perhaps hurt feelings that drove Corinne over the edge? You have done all you can to make up with your super-sensitive daughter-in-law (who appears to be uniquely possessive of her food). Take a step back. Sometimes, things get better with time, and that is what I am hoping will happen for you.

DEAR ABBY: A year ago, I got out of a verbally abusive relationship. Five months later, I met the man of my dreams, who had also been in a very bad marriage. We are really good together, but if something bad happens, he flies off the handle and accuses me of being stupid and not normal. He also threatens to leave me if I don't change my behavior. This was the same threat I got from my ex. I suspect that when I get upset about a problem, he thinks I'm his ex-wife. What should I do? I love him, but I don't want to be back in the same kind of relationship as before. -- SCARED AND CONFUSED IN MICHIGAN

DEAR SCARED: You may not want to be back in the same kind of relationship that you had before, but it looks like that's almost exactly where you are. I don't blame you for being scared and confused because there is something wrong with your manpicker. You have now been with two emotional abusers. Before involving yourself in any more romantic relationships, it's important that you discuss this with a psychologist or other licensed mental health professional who can help you break this pattern. If you do, you'll spare yourself years of bad choices and heartache.

DEAR ABBY: I work in an office with a man who has expressed an interest in me in various subtle (and not-so-subtle) ways, including winks. I have also caught him staring at me with intense longing. We communicate well, and he has told me I have influenced him. We are both disciplined, determined and accomplished men. I envy him for his easy smile, his self-confidence and his effortless, universal appeal.

This man is married with grown children. I am a widower, 21 years his senior. I am prepared to say to him, "You are spoken for, and I'm not a homewrecker. If you are ever single again, you and I should have a serious conversation. But unless that day comes, much will remain unsaid." I suspect the two of us would have a good life together. I do not believe I am misreading his intent. Have you any advice for me? -- INTERESTED IN WASHINGTON

DEAR INTERESTED: This younger colleague may be as attracted to you as you are to him. However, he could also consider you nothing more than a valued mentor. Because he is married, I'm concerned that if you say what you are thinking to him, it could disrupt your working relationship or even be considered harassment. Do not jeopardize your job by doing it.

DEAR ABBY: My husband vapes in our home, and I have run out of ways to get it through his thick skull that this is unhealthy, not only for his health, but for mine. Even more upsetting is that he vapes when our grandchildren are here and when he drives them in his truck.

I have printed reliable scientific information for him, yet his response is always, "I know, I'm sorry, I need to stop." It's been seven years, so that's how sincere his response is. He just continues trying to hide what he's doing.

I'm not wealthy enough to pack his bags and change the locks. But maybe someone will read this and smarten up before they damage their loved ones' health. Do you have any advice? -- THINKING ABOUT MY GRANDS

DEAR THINKING: I do, actually. You imply that your husband is addicted to nicotine, which is why he is vaping. Tell him that you will quit nagging him about it on one condition: that when he vapes, he must step outside to do it, which will ensure that you are not affected by it. As to his vaping with the grands in the vehicle, how do their parents feel about it? Do they realize what Gramps is doing? Your next step should be to make sure they know exactly what is going on so they can put a stop to it.

DEAR READERS: This is my timely reminder for all of you who live where daylight saving time is observed: Don't forget to turn your clocks forward one hour tonight at bedtime. Daylight saving time begins at 2 a.m. Sunday. I look forward to it each year because it signals longer, brighter days and warmer weather. I find the extra light to be a mood elevator and an energizer. Spring has almost sprung! -- LOVE, ABBY

DEAR ABBY: My son took out a couple of education loans, which I cosigned when he was starting college 10 years ago. A couple of years ago, I found out (from someone else) that he never finished college. When I confronted him, he mentioned that he "intends" to finish college and is working toward it. He did not mention how many credits he has completed, what made him quit or why he didn't consult me before dropping out. Shortly after that conversation, he stopped talking to or visiting me for a different reason. We haven't seen each other in two years.

Recently, I received a notice from a debt collector regarding the loan. I tried to contact my son to figure out what he plans to do about the payments, but to no avail. He has always had terrible money habits. Until he stopped talking to me, he relied on me to rescue him whenever he got into money trouble. I had to pay off another of his education loans when he started defaulting a few years back.

Because of all of this, he owes me a significant amount of money. I am at an age where it is important that I build a retirement fund. If I have to pay off this loan, it will put a big dent into my savings. A few people have recommended I take legal action against him. I am, however, reluctant to do so for fear of severing my relationship with him forever. Is there a less aggressive way to have him take accountability for this loan? -- MOM ON THE HOOK

DEAR MOM: Face it, Mom. The son you have bailed out repeatedly is a deadbeat. He is avoiding you because he has no intention of paying back the money for which you so caringly cosigned 10 years ago. Contact an attorney and see what your options may be. Doing that is not aggressive or punitive. It may give you a road map to pull yourself out of this hole.

DEAR ABBY: I recently saw a TV commercial in which a family of four was sitting at a table in a restaurant. The two kids were watching their parents text on their phones instead of socializing with each other and making pleasant conversation. It made me furious. Why? I was taught that it's disrespectful not to give people your exclusive, undivided attention and that there is a time and a place for everything. I think it's one of the reasons why so many people today lack appropriate social skills. Do you agree? -- PRESENT IN RHODE ISLAND

DEAR PRESENT: I agree with you 100%. What you saw in that commercial was a textbook example of lazy parenting. You cannot teach young people communication skills without modeling them. This has been a subject of concern for educators and behavioral specialists for at least 30 years. The result has been two generations of adults who have trouble making eye contact when trying to relate with others.