DEAR ABBY: I am 67, and my husband is 68. For the past six years, we have been caring for aging parents. My father-in-law, who had Alzheimer's, passed away a few years ago. We went through a lot with him as his illness progressed. My mother-in-law is 87 and does not want to go into a nursing home. She still lives by herself, but my sister-in-law and I take turns cooking and bringing her food, and my husband works his tail off cutting the grass and doing maintenance and repairs she can no longer do. Although we are retired, our lives revolve around her needs.

I recently had a conversation with my daughter, my only child. She has three sets of parents -- us, my ex and his wife and her husband's parents. She said she loves us, but she doesn't want to take care of any of us. When she retires, she wants to enjoy her retirement, travel and not have to worry about caring for anybody.

Having gone through it myself, I understand her feelings. Nobody WANTS to do this. At the same time, I'm a little hurt. All that we have -- money, cars, house -- is set up to go to her after we pass. Now it looks like we may need it to pay for assisted living. Abby, is it normal for kids these days to refuse to help aging parents? -- REVISING PLANS IN MISSOURI

DEAR REVISING: I don't know whether it has become "normal," but it is not unusual. Woe to any parent who assumes their children will take care of them, because it doesn't always turn out that way. Be glad your daughter is speaking up now, so you can plan accordingly.

DEAR ABBY: I lost my beloved mother-in-law five years ago. Since then, my father-in-law has become engaged to a woman who, frankly, is not liked by anyone in our family. She's unkind and dismissive, and her presence creates tension at family gatherings.

They have now announced their wedding date, which happens to fall on my birthday. This has hit me hard. My parents have both passed away, and my birthday has always been a cherished day, filled with memories and meaning. It was one of the few days I felt truly celebrated. Now, I worry that every future birthday will be overshadowed by their anniversary and the complicated emotions tied to it.

Would it be selfish or inappropriate to ask them to consider a different date? I don't want to cause drama, but I also feel deeply hurt. How do I navigate this without making things worse? -- TORN BETWEEN GRACE AND GRIEF

DEAR TORN: I am sorry for your disappointment, but the date of your birth does not belong solely to you. It's clear that you disapprove of your father-in-law's choice of a second wife, and I sincerely hope you will be able to adjust. I do not think it will go over well if you approach the happy couple and ask them to change the date of their nuptials to accommodate you.

DEAR ABBY: I am 57 and have never been married. I have had many relationships (some good, some bad). Although in the past I experienced heartbreaks, I am now open to meeting someone new.

I recently ended a relationship with "Bill," a man I met at a resort casino three years ago. I was happy in the beginning, until things started to take a turn. Because we go to the same places all the time, it was hard to break it off. I tried, but Bill would run back to me, and I always took him back, mostly because I felt guilty for hurting him. I finally ended things for good four months ago, after he did something very rude. A neighbor later told me that Bill was stalking me. Bill denies this, even though I have proof.

Abby, I am writing because, for some reason, I'm still drawn to him. He's the only man in my life who ever told me he loves me. I'm afraid no one will ever love me the way he does. I know the stalking is a sign that he is mentally unwell, yet we keep bumping into each other, which has caused this pull to want to be with him. I can't afford therapy right now, so any advice you can give me to move beyond this "pull" I have for him would be appreciated. -- HEART RULING THE HEAD

DEAR HEART: Honey, if you no longer frequent the places you used to frequent together and keep running into him anyway, has it occurred to you that it's happening BECAUSE HE'S STILL STALKING YOU? If you're still going to the same places, it's time to change your routine. This troubled individual may be the only person who has said "I love you," but he won't be the last if you open yourself to other relationships.

You say you can't afford therapy, but please be aware that free or low-cost counseling is available from your county's department of mental health services or a local college or university with a psychology department.

DEAR ABBY: I've been talking to a famous pro wrestler who is having marriage problems. He has been hitting on me through Google Chat. I just want to be a supportive friend whom he can vent to. He says his wife "is getting too old for him," if you know what I mean. They have a joint bank account, but he says it's frozen. He has asked me for an Apple card. I told him no and to ask his extended family instead.

Abby, I need my money to help out my brothers and sister. I'd prefer he be like a friend or big brother to me. I need major advice, please, because it feels like my life is going out of control. -- UNCERTAIN IN IDAHO

DEAR UNCERTAIN: People must exercise caution when communicating with strangers online. "Famous pro wrestlers" usually have enough money that they aren't reduced to hitting up women they meet on the internet for Apple cards. Your life will not "go out of control" unless you allow it to. Regain control by ghosting and blocking this person. He's a scammer, and he, not you, should figure out his own financial problems.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I (both male) have been together for 28 years. The last few years have been less than romantic, but we remain close and in love (or so I thought).

A few days ago, he called me from work (I'm retired) crying so hard I could hardly understand him. I rushed to his office, and he told me he had just learned from his doctor that he has AIDS. He then confessed that he'd had an affair with a contractor at his place of employment. He said it happened years ago when we were going through a rough patch, and swore it was the only time he had strayed.

I am awaiting the results of my HIV test, heartbroken and crushed. What now? I'm so hurt; I don't know if I should stay or go. -- CRUSHED IN FLORIDA

DEAR CRUSHED: Your first order of business should be to ensure you and your husband are getting the best medical advice and treatment possible. A diagnosis of HIV-positive does not necessarily mean the disease will progress to full-blown AIDS because with the advances in medication, it can be held in check. Whether you should stay with your husband or leave is a question that should be tabled until you are less traumatized and thinking rationally.

DEAR ABBY: Two of my children are planning weddings two months apart next year. I'm originally from the Netherlands, where my entire family still lives. My kids both want to invite these relatives (which is great), except my parents are 86 and 87 and can make it to only one wedding. For my sisters, nieces and nephews, it's too costly to come to both. They don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, and I have no idea how to advise them about which wedding to attend.

My son said he will help them financially if they need it so they can come to both, but even so, I know it would not be possible for my parents to come to both. Any advice? -- CHALLENGED IN IDAHO

DEAR CHALLENGED: I do have one suggestion: STEP BACK! It should not be your responsibility to orchestrate who will attend which wedding. Invitations should be sent to everyone. After that, I'm sure conversations will ensue. If financial help is needed, your son is offering it.

Should your parents' degree of infirmity prevent them from attending both celebrations, the decision about which they will attend should be theirs. Even if they can't be there in person for both, these days many weddings are livestreamed, and photos and videos can be shared on social media.

TO MY ASIAN READERS WHO CELEBRATE THE LUNAR NEW YEAR: The Lunar New Year begins today. This is the Year of the Horse. According to Asian culture, individuals born in the year of the horse are dynamic, charming and adventurous. They thrive in settings that are bustling with activity and are often seen as natural leaders and motivators. A healthy, happy and prosperous New Year to you all. Tallyho! -- LOVE, ABBY