DEAR ABBY: I am 57 and have never been married. I have had many relationships (some good, some bad). Although in the past I experienced heartbreaks, I am now open to meeting someone new.
I recently ended a relationship with "Bill," a man I met at a resort casino three years ago. I was happy in the beginning, until things started to take a turn. Because we go to the same places all the time, it was hard to break it off. I tried, but Bill would run back to me, and I always took him back, mostly because I felt guilty for hurting him. I finally ended things for good four months ago, after he did something very rude. A neighbor later told me that Bill was stalking me. Bill denies this, even though I have proof.
Abby, I am writing because, for some reason, I'm still drawn to him. He's the only man in my life who ever told me he loves me. I'm afraid no one will ever love me the way he does. I know the stalking is a sign that he is mentally unwell, yet we keep bumping into each other, which has caused this pull to want to be with him. I can't afford therapy right now, so any advice you can give me to move beyond this "pull" I have for him would be appreciated. -- HEART RULING THE HEAD
DEAR HEART: Honey, if you no longer frequent the places you used to frequent together and keep running into him anyway, has it occurred to you that it's happening BECAUSE HE'S STILL STALKING YOU? If you're still going to the same places, it's time to change your routine. This troubled individual may be the only person who has said "I love you," but he won't be the last if you open yourself to other relationships.
You say you can't afford therapy, but please be aware that free or low-cost counseling is available from your county's department of mental health services or a local college or university with a psychology department.