DEAR ABBY: I work in a place where being friendly to customers is part of my job requirement, but I feel like many guys interpret this the wrong way. It seems I am a "jerk attractor," and I don't know how to make it stop. The worst of these jerks can't take a hint that I'm not interested. One of them is a co-worker who sexually harasses me all day. Please help me so I stop attracting these losers. -- FRIENDLY IN MASSACHUSETTS

DEAR FRIENDLY: While this is certainly not your fault in any way, many women in the hospitality industry wear a wedding ring to discourage the kind of unwelcome attention you have described. However, a co-worker doing this is a different story. There are workplace rules to protect women and men, and they should be listed in your employee handbook.

Start documenting what this person has been doing and warn the other female employees. The next time it happens, inform him that the name for what he's doing is harassment, it's unwelcome and you will report it to your boss. If that doesn't discourage him, follow through, because it could cost him his job.

DEAR ABBY: I have a longtime friend with whom I had a wonderful relationship. Over the last couple of years, he has made some bad life decisions. He is now without a job, without a girlfriend and in an apartment that's less than desirable. For a long time, I kept my opinions to myself. But, finally, I started offering advice with the hope he'd see that his decisions are causing him grief and hardship. I always do it with love, but he becomes very upset when I try to help him. Am I wrong for trying to guide a dear friend toward a better path? -- IN A DILEMMA IN NEW JERSEY

DEAR DILEMMA: Your friend may not be ready to listen to someone telling him he has chosen the wrong path. Because the guidance you have so generously offered has fallen on deaf ears, recognize you are wasting your time and turn off your fountain of wisdom.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I are seniors. We got married in 2020. When we were dating, things were fun and good. Now, however, I'm in a no-talk, no-response nightmare. After the first two years, he changed. He never starts conversations and never says "thank you" for anything. He simply doesn't talk.

If I ask questions, he won't respond or acknowledge me in any way. If someone calls, he talks and talks with them. Does he hate me? I speak my mind and voice my disappointment. Should I still try to fix it or get out? -- STUCK IN SILENCE

DEAR STUCK: You can't fix something that may not be your fault. However, before calling it quits, you can offer your husband the opportunity to get your marriage back on track with the help of a licensed marriage and family therapist. Schedule an appointment with one, and if your husband refuses to go with you, go alone.

DEAR ABBY: I have been dating "Rita" for four months. We peck on the lips, hug and hold hands, but we have had only one real kiss so far. Rita was first married for 22 years to an emotionally abusive man and then remarried to a manipulative one. She said we were going too fast and she wanted to slow down. I understood and have exerted no pressure on her.

Rita has cancelled dates for various reasons and gone silent for a day here and there. She says she's not talking to anyone else, and neither am I. I have told her she is worth the wait. I have fallen hard for her and have serious intentions about her.

Rita says she has strong feelings for me and that I treat her better than any man she has ever been involved with, but she doesn't know how to handle the feelings. How long should I give her to figure out what she wants this relationship to be?

I'm not worried about sex or anything like that, but four months without even calling us "dating" or "girlfriend and boyfriend" has me worried that I am, for a lack of a better description, wasting my time with her. What would you advise me to do? -- TAKING IT SLOW IN VIRGINIA

DEAR TAKING IT SLOW: Continue allowing your relationship with Rita to develop slowly. The woman has had two unsuccessful marriages, so it's no wonder she's slow to commit. If, after a year (eight months from now), Rita still feels uncomfortable calling you "boyfriend" or "companion," revisit the conversation and decide then if you have invested enough time.

DEAR ABBY: After reading so many horrible letters sent to you from people about their mothers-in-law, I feel compelled to write to you about mine. I met her 43 years ago when I was dating her oldest son (now my husband). From the moment we met, she treated me with caring, acceptance and love. She and my father-in-law raised five amazing children, and they treated their children's spouses as if we were their own. She devoted her entire life to caring for and nurturing her husband, children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren.

Unfortunately, we just lost this beautiful woman at the age of 89 to a long and difficult battle with Parkinson's and dementia. We watched her "sparkle" slowly fade away, but we will carry her amazing legacy with us always. I hope I can be half the MIL to my children's spouses that she was to me.

I also hope that all those who aren't as lucky as I was can find some common ground with their mothers-in-law -- especially if there are children involved. I LOVE YOU, MOM! -- FORTUNATE IN NEW YORK

DEAR FORTUNATE: Thank you for sharing this beautiful tribute to a woman who made such a positive difference in the lives of those she touched. Not only were you fortunate to be a member of such a warm and loving family, but she was also lucky to have a daughter-in-law like you.

DEAR ABBY: A good friend of mine, "Louis," has big problems. He is in his 60s, and although he's 50% disabled, he can still work custodial jobs. His sister, "Gayle," who lives 500 miles away, asked him to move in with her and her husband, saying they would help take care of him.

Louis moved, not realizing his sister was a severe alcoholic. She'd come home from work, have six or eight drinks and become really belligerent with both her husband and Louis. She even gave Louis 30 days to get out of her house. He has nowhere to go because he severed ties with everyone in his prior location.

I loaned Louis enough money to keep him from starving as he tried to find a means of support. He has applied for several custodial jobs. His brother-in-law is a great person but is not strong enough to do anything. Gayle has hit her husband on several occasions. They are at their wits' end and need advice. Gayle refuses to seek any kind of help. -- THERE FOR MY FRIEND IN FLORIDA

DEAR 'THERE': Louis and his brother-in-law might find some support if they start attending Al-Anon or Smart Recovery meetings. Because they are dealing with a raging alcoholic, it may make them feel less isolated.

As to what you should advise Louis about his living situation: Since he burned his bridges in the town from which he relocated and doesn't have the funds to move out of his sister's home, all you can do is continue to listen to him and be as supportive as you can until he finds work. Because Louis is partially disabled, he may qualify for some services and assistance in his new community. Encourage him to look into these potential options further.

DEAR ABBY: My sister-in-law and mother-in-law are going to court against each other. My mother-in-law acknowledges that she wasn't a good mother when her children were younger. My sister-in-law claims her mother was harassing her by dropping off gifts, notes and money on birthdays.

Unfortunately, my fiance and I were dragged into the middle of the situation because we were speaking with both of them prior to the court proceeding. Now, they have both cut us off! I'm pretty sure it was because we wouldn't pick sides, but why should we have to? We love them both.

My fiance had a close relationship with his sister and mother. I know this is hurting him. How can I help bring their relationships back together? My sister-in-law has blocked me from all of her accounts, and if I mail a letter, I'm afraid she will accuse me of harassing her, too. -- TOUGH POSITION IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR TOUGH POSITION: There is no way you can force a reconciliation between two parties who don't want to mend fences. You do not know whether your mother-in-law's motive for dropping off unwanted gifts was to harass her daughter. (It may have been.) My advice is to stay firmly out of the line of fire until after that court case has been resolved.

DEAR READERS: On this day that celebrates love, I want you to know how much I value my long relationship with all of you. Wishing you all a Happy Valentine's Day. -- WITH LOVE, ABBY