DEAR ABBY: A good friend of mine, "Louis," has big problems. He is in his 60s, and although he's 50% disabled, he can still work custodial jobs. His sister, "Gayle," who lives 500 miles away, asked him to move in with her and her husband, saying they would help take care of him.

Louis moved, not realizing his sister was a severe alcoholic. She'd come home from work, have six or eight drinks and become really belligerent with both her husband and Louis. She even gave Louis 30 days to get out of her house. He has nowhere to go because he severed ties with everyone in his prior location.

I loaned Louis enough money to keep him from starving as he tried to find a means of support. He has applied for several custodial jobs. His brother-in-law is a great person but is not strong enough to do anything. Gayle has hit her husband on several occasions. They are at their wits' end and need advice. Gayle refuses to seek any kind of help. -- THERE FOR MY FRIEND IN FLORIDA

DEAR 'THERE': Louis and his brother-in-law might find some support if they start attending Al-Anon or Smart Recovery meetings. Because they are dealing with a raging alcoholic, it may make them feel less isolated.

As to what you should advise Louis about his living situation: Since he burned his bridges in the town from which he relocated and doesn't have the funds to move out of his sister's home, all you can do is continue to listen to him and be as supportive as you can until he finds work. Because Louis is partially disabled, he may qualify for some services and assistance in his new community. Encourage him to look into these potential options further.

DEAR ABBY: My sister-in-law and mother-in-law are going to court against each other. My mother-in-law acknowledges that she wasn't a good mother when her children were younger. My sister-in-law claims her mother was harassing her by dropping off gifts, notes and money on birthdays.

Unfortunately, my fiance and I were dragged into the middle of the situation because we were speaking with both of them prior to the court proceeding. Now, they have both cut us off! I'm pretty sure it was because we wouldn't pick sides, but why should we have to? We love them both.

My fiance had a close relationship with his sister and mother. I know this is hurting him. How can I help bring their relationships back together? My sister-in-law has blocked me from all of her accounts, and if I mail a letter, I'm afraid she will accuse me of harassing her, too. -- TOUGH POSITION IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR TOUGH POSITION: There is no way you can force a reconciliation between two parties who don't want to mend fences. You do not know whether your mother-in-law's motive for dropping off unwanted gifts was to harass her daughter. (It may have been.) My advice is to stay firmly out of the line of fire until after that court case has been resolved.

DEAR READERS: On this day that celebrates love, I want you to know how much I value my long relationship with all of you. Wishing you all a Happy Valentine's Day. -- WITH LOVE, ABBY

DEAR ABBY: I have been married 50 years and recently remembered that my husband cheated on me with several different women. He admitted to one affair but swears he saw her only twice and they had sex only once. He says I'm imagining the other two. He hasn't apologized for the one he admitted to and refuses to discuss it or the other two, though I can see them in my mind's eye and feel it in my gut.

At this point, I'm more angry about his lying than I am about something that happened decades ago. Am I wrong to want the truth so I can get angry, deal with it and then forgive him? I also want a heartfelt apology. -- HEARTSICK IN TEXAS

DEAR HEARTSICK: You do not need "the truth" so you can get angry. You are already as mad as heck. What you want is an apology from your cheating husband, and you aren't going to get it. Discussing this with a licensed marriage and family therapist may help you dissipate some of your anger and move on.

DEAR ABBY: Two of my mom's best friends ended their friendship with her after almost 50 years because of political differences. I grew up spending every holiday with these ladies and their families, in addition to summer lake and winter ski vacations and everything in between.

One of them is my godmother, and they both were like second moms to me. Can it be that simple to act as if they were never friends in the first place? Must Mom just accept the change, or can she try to repair the friendships? -- SAD SON IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR SON: When political differences run so deep that close friendships are destroyed, I am sorry to say they are often not salvageable. I am not sure that time can heal the rift when someone is so entrenched in their political beliefs that they would jettison a 50-year friendship. Suggest to your mom that rather than look backward, she may try to cultivate friends who are less contentious.

DEAR ABBY: I am a 75-year-old therapist who was virtually a single parent. I still struggle with the guilt that I didn't do a good enough job with my three grown children, despite my trying with what energy and resources I continue to have. Their father has been pretty much absent since our divorce 35 years ago.

How can I get rid of the feeling that I am disrespected by my ungrateful adult children, and how do I stop trying to compensate them for their missing parent? There is minimal chance that they will change their attitude or beliefs at this point. -- STRUGGLING IN NEW JERSEY

DEAR STRUGGLING: Thank you for asking. By now you must have realized that you can't buy love. As a psychotherapist, surely you are aware that therapists have therapists of their own (and many need this support). Because you are in pain over something you can't change by yourself, recognize that it's time to become proactive on your own behalf and consult one.

DEAR ABBY: Last year, after several years overseas, my husband and I returned stateside and moved to my hometown. It has been a lonely transition. One of my friends from school, "Skip," has helped, but more and more, he dominates social situations by framing what people first learn about me and my husband. It is usually unflattering or one-dimensional, or he'll include me in a one-time event story but make it sound like it was my whole life, which it isn't.

Skip also dominates a conversation and always has to be right. This interferes with our meeting other people, and it leaves my husband feeling alienated and even more alone. He would like to meet and have conversations with new people, but Skip doesn't take it well when I try to explain that his behavior is stifling.

Should I pull back, or try to broach the subject of allowing my husband and me to interact with new people without Skip framing who we are before we meet them? -- MISREPRESENTED IN THE MIDWEST

DEAR MISREPRESENTED: Carve out time for you and your husband to socialize independently from your old "friend," who does not seem like much of a friend from where I'm sitting. Use that time to look into volunteering opportunities for yourself and your husband, separately if necessary, and joining other social or special interest groups. If you do, those folks will have the opportunity to meet the real you, and your husband may begin to feel less isolated. Please don't wait to start, because if you do, your husband may become depressed from the continued social isolation.

DEAR ABBY: My husband has two grown children from his first marriage and two grandchildren. When I met him, he was still in what he described as a very unhappy and unhealthy marriage of 30 years. Because of this, his family has labeled me a homewrecker. While his children are polite and cordial, we don't have any kind of relationship with each other.

My husband feels that for every holiday, we must host his children for some portion of the day, after which they can go be with their mother and other family. I don't think I should have to open up my home and cook for people who don't like me. Could you please provide me with some guidance? -- LOOKING FOR WHAT'S FAIR

DEAR LOOKING: Please consider a change in attitude. You stated that your husband's children are polite and cordial with you. They may not dislike you as much as fear that getting too close to you might alienate their mother. Your husband should be able to invite his children into the home you share if he wishes, and the atmosphere should be as warm and welcoming as you can manage. ("Kill them with kindness.")

If there is a lot of work involved, your husband should help you with it if he can. If you can manage to do this, you may be able to improve the relationship you have with your stepchildren, which will benefit everyone.