DEAR ABBY: I have been married 50 years and recently remembered that my husband cheated on me with several different women. He admitted to one affair but swears he saw her only twice and they had sex only once. He says I'm imagining the other two. He hasn't apologized for the one he admitted to and refuses to discuss it or the other two, though I can see them in my mind's eye and feel it in my gut.

At this point, I'm more angry about his lying than I am about something that happened decades ago. Am I wrong to want the truth so I can get angry, deal with it and then forgive him? I also want a heartfelt apology. -- HEARTSICK IN TEXAS

DEAR HEARTSICK: You do not need "the truth" so you can get angry. You are already as mad as heck. What you want is an apology from your cheating husband, and you aren't going to get it. Discussing this with a licensed marriage and family therapist may help you dissipate some of your anger and move on.

DEAR ABBY: Two of my mom's best friends ended their friendship with her after almost 50 years because of political differences. I grew up spending every holiday with these ladies and their families, in addition to summer lake and winter ski vacations and everything in between.

One of them is my godmother, and they both were like second moms to me. Can it be that simple to act as if they were never friends in the first place? Must Mom just accept the change, or can she try to repair the friendships? -- SAD SON IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR SON: When political differences run so deep that close friendships are destroyed, I am sorry to say they are often not salvageable. I am not sure that time can heal the rift when someone is so entrenched in their political beliefs that they would jettison a 50-year friendship. Suggest to your mom that rather than look backward, she may try to cultivate friends who are less contentious.

DEAR ABBY: I am a 75-year-old therapist who was virtually a single parent. I still struggle with the guilt that I didn't do a good enough job with my three grown children, despite my trying with what energy and resources I continue to have. Their father has been pretty much absent since our divorce 35 years ago.

How can I get rid of the feeling that I am disrespected by my ungrateful adult children, and how do I stop trying to compensate them for their missing parent? There is minimal chance that they will change their attitude or beliefs at this point. -- STRUGGLING IN NEW JERSEY

DEAR STRUGGLING: Thank you for asking. By now you must have realized that you can't buy love. As a psychotherapist, surely you are aware that therapists have therapists of their own (and many need this support). Because you are in pain over something you can't change by yourself, recognize that it's time to become proactive on your own behalf and consult one.

DEAR ABBY: Last year, after several years overseas, my husband and I returned stateside and moved to my hometown. It has been a lonely transition. One of my friends from school, "Skip," has helped, but more and more, he dominates social situations by framing what people first learn about me and my husband. It is usually unflattering or one-dimensional, or he'll include me in a one-time event story but make it sound like it was my whole life, which it isn't.

Skip also dominates a conversation and always has to be right. This interferes with our meeting other people, and it leaves my husband feeling alienated and even more alone. He would like to meet and have conversations with new people, but Skip doesn't take it well when I try to explain that his behavior is stifling.

Should I pull back, or try to broach the subject of allowing my husband and me to interact with new people without Skip framing who we are before we meet them? -- MISREPRESENTED IN THE MIDWEST

DEAR MISREPRESENTED: Carve out time for you and your husband to socialize independently from your old "friend," who does not seem like much of a friend from where I'm sitting. Use that time to look into volunteering opportunities for yourself and your husband, separately if necessary, and joining other social or special interest groups. If you do, those folks will have the opportunity to meet the real you, and your husband may begin to feel less isolated. Please don't wait to start, because if you do, your husband may become depressed from the continued social isolation.

DEAR ABBY: My husband has two grown children from his first marriage and two grandchildren. When I met him, he was still in what he described as a very unhappy and unhealthy marriage of 30 years. Because of this, his family has labeled me a homewrecker. While his children are polite and cordial, we don't have any kind of relationship with each other.

My husband feels that for every holiday, we must host his children for some portion of the day, after which they can go be with their mother and other family. I don't think I should have to open up my home and cook for people who don't like me. Could you please provide me with some guidance? -- LOOKING FOR WHAT'S FAIR

DEAR LOOKING: Please consider a change in attitude. You stated that your husband's children are polite and cordial with you. They may not dislike you as much as fear that getting too close to you might alienate their mother. Your husband should be able to invite his children into the home you share if he wishes, and the atmosphere should be as warm and welcoming as you can manage. ("Kill them with kindness.")

If there is a lot of work involved, your husband should help you with it if he can. If you can manage to do this, you may be able to improve the relationship you have with your stepchildren, which will benefit everyone.

DEAR ABBY: My husband is 76 but doesn't look a day over 60. He has a full head of hair with little graying, no facial wrinkles, and he's fairly fit. I'm 71 and look every day my age, probably older. I have graying hair -- lots of it -- but I like the color and will never dye it. I am fit, but the deep facial wrinkles and turkey neck emphasize my age. I "thank" my husband, a man I've lived with for 40 years, for this. He has given me years of stress and disappointment.

My issue: When we are out together, strangers inevitably tell him how shocked or surprised they are at how he "doesn't look how old he is." I'm left sitting right there feeling as if they think I'm his mother. Every time this happens, for days and sometimes weeks, he will spend time staring at himself in the mirror and reminding me how lucky I am to have such a handsome husband. He has always had an ego problem, but it is getting worse. Is there a response to get him to get over himself? -- MR. HANDSOME'S WIFE

DEAR WIFE: It is my observation that people who compulsively stare into mirrors do it not out of ego but because of insecurity. When your husband does this, does he actually tell you how lucky you are to have such a handsome husband, or is that something you think he is thinking? He is the way his genetics have made him, and the same is true of you.

If you feel bad about yourself because you think people are making unflattering comparisons between the two of you, consider discussing it with your dermatologist to see if there are some simple procedures that might make you feel better about yourself.

DEAR ABBY: My husband is in his 60s. His brother, "Al," (two years younger) has been living in their mother's house for the last 35 years. Before she died seven years ago, she put her house in my husband's name. For all those seven years, Al has been lying to him, promising he's going to move out "any day now." If I try to tell my husband Al may have squatter's rights and is never going to move, my husband becomes verbally abusive and threatens me.

Now that my husband is starting to face the fact that his brother will never move, he has become even more abusive toward me and is trying to drive me out of my own home. He knows I will get half of everything in a divorce because we have been married 31 years. When I suggested mediation, he kicked our dog. We also have loaded weapons in the house. He says he wants a divorce but can't afford one. -- UNEASY IN THE EAST

DEAR UNEASY: You need more help than anyone can give you in a letter. Because your husband's behavior is escalating, you need to get out of there. The next time he becomes violent, instead of kicking the dog, he may hurt you.

Contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline (1-800-799-7233) and talk with an advocate who can help you escape safely. You should also consult an attorney about how to protect yourself and file a police report about your husband's threatening behavior. He may not be able to afford a divorce, but you can't afford not to get one.