DEAR ABBY: I have been happily married for 30 years. Unfortunately, my wife's family (two older sisters and her mother, who is 97) have rejected not only me, but now my wife. While our relationship with my mother-in-law is cordial, our relationship with her sisters is poor.

Recently, her sisters put their mother into an elder care facility without informing us, much less inviting us to tour the facility. By the time we found out, the paperwork had already been signed. The facility is two hours away from where she had been living (closer to the oldest sister), meaning my MIL will be forced to give up her social life and her doctors of 30-plus years. (She lived in a big city, so finding a facility near her apartment would have been easy.)

Starting anew is hard at any age. My mother-in-law says she's depressed about this. It is unclear whether she was competent to make this decision, but litigation seems futile and out of our budget. Ranting at my wife's sisters would be a waste of time, but sitting here in silent anger is untenable as well. I guess we are looking for validation that it is reasonable to be angry, even if we don't act on that anger, unless you have better advice for this situation. -- UPSET IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR UPSET: I will assume that your sister-in-law has power of attorney for your mother-in-law, who has reached the point that she needs an increasing amount of care. By age 97, it stands to reason that most of her friends have passed on. It makes sense that she would be moved into assisted living close enough that your sisters-in-law could see her often.

While it would have been nice had your wife been kept in the loop about the move, her relationship with her sisters isn't cordial. You both are entitled to your feelings about what has happened, but please don't let it rule your lives.

DEAR ABBY: Recently, our good friends of 35 years, "Cherise" and "Robert," announced the upcoming wedding of their daughter. Our children grew up together. Invitations have not been sent out, but they have let us know the date and location of the destination wedding. My husband and I will go, but my children won't be able to make it because of their jobs, kids, etc.

Cherise called me today, very upset, to tell me how hurt she is. Abby, our children went their separate ways 20 years ago. They never see each other! My son had planned a destination wedding five years ago (which didn't happen because of COVID), and Cherise's entire family declined, which I completely understood. I'm confused about why her reaction was so strong. I'm not telling my children about this because they will feel bad. Should I let this go? -- THROWN IN OREGON

DEAR THROWN: Yes, let it go. Your children are adults and have their own priorities. You can't control them, nor should you try. I'm sorry Cherise is upset, but your children are not responsible for it. The "kids" are not as close as she assumed they were, and she is going to have to learn to accept that.

DEAR ABBY: My longtime boyfriend has been divorced for more than 20 years. Every year, his ex comes to stay at his house for a week or two and brings along another female friend. He caters to them, driving them around and entertaining them at restaurants, etc.

I am never included, even though I have expressed an interest in doing so. Am I wrong in thinking this is disrespectful to me and for feeling resentful over having never been introduced to his annual houseguests? I include him when I have houseguests. -- LEFT OUT IN FLORIDA

DEAR LEFT OUT: Your longtime boyfriend is acting like you are his guilty secret rather than his lady friend. (Is his ex aware that he has a girlfriend?) I can't blame you for feeling disrespected and excluded. Because this is an annual event, it may be time to consider taking a vacation of your own during the time your boyfriend will be AWOL.

DEAR ABBY: I am 76 and live in a great neighborhood. However, there are almost as many canines as there are houses. As a result, many of them are walked by my house at least twice a day. I like to go for walks in my neighborhood, but I'm afraid of dogs.

If I meet someone walking their dog, they usually want me to pet their dog. If I tell them I'm afraid of dogs, they often say I shouldn't worry because their dog is friendly and would rather lick me than harm me. However, I don't want to be licked either.

I've tried timing my walks to avoid these encounters, and I don't want to drive elsewhere and waste gas to go for a walk. Suggestions, please. -- SOLITARY STROLLER IN THE EAST

DEAR STROLLER: I do have a suggestion for you. Smile at the dog walkers and keep walking. That way, you will project friendliness but won't be forced into an extended encounter that is unpleasant for you. It's no sin to not want a licking.

DEAR ABBY: How do I ratchet down gift-giving? I am 80 years old. I have just about everything I want and far more than I need. Yet, I have a daughter-in-law and a sister-in-law who lavish me with a half dozen or more gifts each holiday and birthday -- books I will not read, clothes I will not wear, items I already have. All of them are new and not inexpensive.

I do not wish to cause a schism. Any suggestions on how to approach these ladies to suggest that, while it is nice to be remembered, one is enough? -- STUFFED WITH STUFF IN MASSACHUSETTS

DEAR STUFFED: Talk to your daughter-in-law and sister-in-law individually. Tell them how grateful (and touched) you are that they are so generous with you, but explain that it is causing a problem. You no longer have space for more things and, if they feel they must give you birthday and holiday gifts, you would appreciate it if they would donate the money to a charity of your choosing. It's honest, and I'm sure the funds would be welcomed.

DEAR ABBY: I am a widow who has been dating a widower for the past eight years. He's a wonderful man and the love of my life. We both have children, so we have been extremely careful not to cause them any distress with our relationship, and we have kept our home lives pretty separate.

At first, I thought that when the kids graduated from high school, we would maybe change our living situation, but now with all of our kids in college, the kids are going back and forth. One has moved home with me, so a change still doesn't seem appropriate.

However, even when the kids are all out of college and living on their own, I'm still not sure I want to move into his house. It's an amazing home in a wonderful town with lots of room for me, but it was built with his deceased wife, and all of her things and decorations permeate the place.

I just don't feel I could ever make it my home, as it was their family home from the time they were married and where they raised their daughter. Moving into my house is not an option because it is small, and I don't think he would want to do that.

I thought we could possibly sell both places and buy something together, but, again, his house is such an amazing place that I doubt we could find anything comparable. What should I do? -- MAKING A CHANGE, OR NOT

DEAR MAKING: I think it is time you and your longtime partner have a serious, honest conversation about what your options are after all the children are finally independent. Express that as beautiful as his home is, you have qualms because it was the home in which he and his late wife raised a family. Tell him you fear any changes would be resented, and the house you live in is just too small. Then listen to what he has to say.

DEAR ABBY: I recently became aware that someone I know through various community groups is married to a man who is on the local sex offender list (involving a child under 13). This information was confirmed by another community group member as we needed to see how it would affect his volunteer status and our location near a school.

I don't know how to respond to this information. The man is pleasant and friendly. If I had not known this information, I would have suggested he and his wife get together with my husband and other friends. There are no children in my household, so no one would be endangered by his presence.

Should this information about his sex offender status change how I see or respect him? Neither he nor his wife know that I know, and I don't plan to tell them or anyone else. What are my responsibilities if I see him around children? -- ON ALERT IN MICHIGAN

DEAR ON ALERT: Whether or not to see or respect this person is a decision only you can make. No one can do that for you. However, if you see a sex offender in the presence of minor children, you are morally and ethically bound to report it.