DEAR ABBY: I am a widow who has been dating a widower for the past eight years. He's a wonderful man and the love of my life. We both have children, so we have been extremely careful not to cause them any distress with our relationship, and we have kept our home lives pretty separate.

At first, I thought that when the kids graduated from high school, we would maybe change our living situation, but now with all of our kids in college, the kids are going back and forth. One has moved home with me, so a change still doesn't seem appropriate.

However, even when the kids are all out of college and living on their own, I'm still not sure I want to move into his house. It's an amazing home in a wonderful town with lots of room for me, but it was built with his deceased wife, and all of her things and decorations permeate the place.

I just don't feel I could ever make it my home, as it was their family home from the time they were married and where they raised their daughter. Moving into my house is not an option because it is small, and I don't think he would want to do that.

I thought we could possibly sell both places and buy something together, but, again, his house is such an amazing place that I doubt we could find anything comparable. What should I do? -- MAKING A CHANGE, OR NOT

DEAR MAKING: I think it is time you and your longtime partner have a serious, honest conversation about what your options are after all the children are finally independent. Express that as beautiful as his home is, you have qualms because it was the home in which he and his late wife raised a family. Tell him you fear any changes would be resented, and the house you live in is just too small. Then listen to what he has to say.

DEAR ABBY: I recently became aware that someone I know through various community groups is married to a man who is on the local sex offender list (involving a child under 13). This information was confirmed by another community group member as we needed to see how it would affect his volunteer status and our location near a school.

I don't know how to respond to this information. The man is pleasant and friendly. If I had not known this information, I would have suggested he and his wife get together with my husband and other friends. There are no children in my household, so no one would be endangered by his presence.

Should this information about his sex offender status change how I see or respect him? Neither he nor his wife know that I know, and I don't plan to tell them or anyone else. What are my responsibilities if I see him around children? -- ON ALERT IN MICHIGAN

DEAR ON ALERT: Whether or not to see or respect this person is a decision only you can make. No one can do that for you. However, if you see a sex offender in the presence of minor children, you are morally and ethically bound to report it.

DEAR ABBY: My daughter-in-law, "Louise," died of cancer five years ago. She was 45; my son, "Pete," was 48. They'd been married for 15 years and had no children.

Three years ago, Pete met "Shelly" through a mutual friend, and they were immediately attracted to each other. Within a year, they were living together and seem very happy. Shelly has two grown children and three grandchildren. Her mother is also in the picture. I have met her a few times, and she was very pleasant.

What bothers me is that Pete's "new family" doesn't include me. They're aware that I'm on social media and can see all the photos they post -- doing things with the kids and their great-grandma -- which is lovely. I'd just like to be included once in a while.

This past weekend, I saw another post of all of them, with photos captioned: "Enjoying a leisurely brunch with the whole family." I was stunned when I realized they were in a cafe that is literally across the street from my apartment, but I wasn't asked to join them. I won't bring it up because I'm afraid I'll be seen as a whiny, insecure old lady. But still, it felt like a deliberate snub.

I have kept a low profile and tried not to be "that" relative who always finds things to meddle in or gripe about. Is there a way to express my feelings without a "poor pitiful me" attitude? -- SNUBBED IN ILLINOIS

DEAR SNUBBED: It is possible that the dominant person in your son's household is his lady friend, and she arranges their activities. Talk to your son. Ask if you might have said or done something that has put Shelly off, which is why you have been sidelined. And then, instead of waiting to be asked, start doing some of the inviting yourself. (Be sure to include Shelly's mother when you do.)

DEAR ABBY: I'm stuck with an alcoholic husband. I do love him, but it's complicated. I don't have any family. My mom is 96, and I would never burden her with my problems. His family is in denial or whatever you call it. I have only my disability check, which isn't much. I can't find part-time work because of my age (I am 63). When my husband drinks, he becomes impossible to be around, packs up his stuff and leaves, and then demands that I apologize for his mistakes. I'm trapped. What can I do? -- PRISONER IN TEXAS

DEAR PRISONER: Go online and search for the location of the nearest Al-Anon meeting (al-anon.org/info). Al-Anon is an offshoot of AA. There are many meetings, so it shouldn't be too hard to find one near you. These meetings are free; they do not charge. Once there, start listening and share what you are going through. If you do, you may learn methods for coping with your alcoholic husband. You may think you are alone right now, but you will soon realize you are far from it.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have been married for 15 years. He is former military, suffers from PTSD, and has been verbally abusive and controlling since our wedding. I have always worked to support us, sometimes with two jobs. We have a 14-year-old son.

My husband has a sister who bought a house. I picked up items for her new home and looked at his phone to double-check the address. Among the recent messages my husband had sent to her was one in which he told her he was in hell living with me and he didn't give a damn about me. He also asked his sister if he could move in with her! (She was fine with that.) He said he would figure a way out, and that there was always a way out.

I am beyond devastated. I have always been supportive of him; now this. Part of me says I should be relieved. Why does it hurt so much? -- SHOCKED IN TEXAS

DEAR SHOCKED: This "hurts so much" because you were caught flat-footed, without a clue that your husband is planning on leaving you. Be glad you know, because you haven't a moment to waste. Schedule an appointment with an attorney who can help you protect yourself from the financial assault that's coming. If there are assets in the marriage, find out exactly what they are and take your cues from your lawyer. I am rooting for you.

DEAR ABBY: As a single parent with two children, ages 9 and 10, I am in a challenging situation. I have been diagnosed with pulmonary arterial hypertension, a serious heart-lung illness that progressively worsens. Although I am classified as physically disabled, advancements in new medications have significantly improved my condition compared to when my children were younger.

My mother helps me with cleaning my apartment each week, and I truly appreciate and often need her support. She holds a key to my home for emergencies. However, during her visits when we are out, she has removed items from my apartment without my consent. When I have mentioned this to her, she has manipulated my feelings and denied any wrongdoing, despite being caught in the act several times. Am I wrong for being angry about this? -- VIOLATED IN OREGON

DEAR VIOLATED: You are right for feeling your trust has been violated. It has been. Your mother's gaslighting you about it is shameful. If there is an alternative to your mother helping with the housekeeping, please consider availing yourself of it. Contact your state department of social services (as well as your doctor) to find out if there are programs to help you with maintaining your household. If that is not possible, you will have to lock up any items of value you don't want to go missing because of your light-fingered, entitled mother.