DEAR ABBY: It seems that everywhere I go, people expect tips. Yesterday, I pulled up to the drive-through at a cookie store, and before I paid or was handed my cookies, the clerk asked, "Would you like to leave a tip?" My niece recently told me that after she left a tip at a restaurant, the server followed her outside and asked if she hadn't been a very good server because the tip was small. I can give you more examples just from my family regarding their experience with tipping.

In this economy, I don't feel the 20% rule should apply. For the price of a lunch for two at a sit-down restaurant these days, the tip costs as much as a small entree. When I go through a drive-through, I don't feel I need to tip because I'm not inside using their facility. But if I don't, I get a disappointed look from the gal who gets paid to make and hand me my drink. What are your thoughts? -- TIPPED OUT IN IDAHO

DEAR TIPPED OUT: The server you mentioned may need tips to survive on her sub-minimum or minimum wage income. However, a tip should never be requested, and for a server to follow your niece out of a restaurant to discuss a small tip is beyond the pale. Although some establishments "suggest" tips that can go as high as 35%, most customers give 15% or 20% of the total bill.

Since you asked for my opinion, here it is: Quit complaining. If you think you received adequate service, leave a tip, and you will be warmly welcomed at whatever eatery you choose to patronize.

DEAR ABBY: Once a month, my wife and I play music trivia with my brother and his wife at our local pub. We invited them, thinking it would be a great way for us to get closer. (I have an older brother we are closer to.) As it turns out, my sister-in-law belittles my brother in front of us if he questions an answer someone might give (which we all do at one point or another).

At first, we laughed and considered it to be playful banter, but now it has become really uncomfortable. My brother doesn't say anything back because he doesn't want to create a scene, so the night always ends on a sour note for me and my wife.

Abby, we're to the point of telling my brother we no longer want them as partners on our team, but I'm not sure how to go about it. What can we say without creating a major blowup? Help, please. -- SOUR NOTE IN MICHIGAN

DEAR SOUR NOTE: Tell your brother and sister-in-law privately, together, that if she has any criticisms to make about your brother, you would prefer that it not be in public or in front of you because it makes you uncomfortable. It is the truth. It may cause them to stop playing music trivia with you, which will solve your problem. However, if they show up and she does it again, end your participation, with no additional explanation needed.

DEAR ABBY: A few years back, my brother gave me a substantial amount of cryptocurrency. A couple of years after that, he did something that hurt me and my husband deeply and destroyed any trust I had in him. As a result, I have greatly reduced contact with him as well as my entire family.

When I explained how what he did made me feel and how it affected my life, my brother "sort of" apologized, but it wasn't genuine -- and during this fake apology, he mentioned he wanted his crypto back.

Because I had had some financial difficulties, I couldn't give back the money. The cryptocurrency had been a gift. When he gave it to me, there was no agreement about paying him back or what to do with it. (He confessed that he had made a huge mistake by giving it to me.) When I told him I couldn't give it back, he sort of let it go. But now we are barely on speaking terms, and I feel awkward because I can feel his resentment.

I no longer trust him, and I'm not sure how to proceed. I'm not angry; I'm just cautious because of his previous careless actions and because he lacks a verbal filter, especially toward my husband, who is sensitive. How do I deal with the fallout? -- ONCE BITTEN, TWICE SHY

DEAR O.B.T.S.: I wish you had gone into more detail in the second sentence of your letter. If I have read it correctly, your problems with your brother have less to do with the cryptocurrency debacle and far more about how he treats your husband. As I see it, you have every right to proceed with caution where your brother is concerned. If he can't watch his mouth around your husband, some distance may be better for all of you.

DEAR ABBY: I'm retired and have discovered a love for making bags, totes and purses with my sewing machine. A few years ago, I started doing local craft shows -- not because I've turned this into a business, but because it helps clear out the growing inventory. Financially, we're fine. I'm not risking money we don't have.

My husband, who still works, strongly disapproves of this. He says I've made a job out of a hobby, and he thinks it's silly since I don't really make money. He has even suggested I'd be better off throwing my creations away. In truth, after a lifetime of working and raising kids, I finally have time to do something that makes me happy.

I feel torn. Must I stop doing something I love to keep peace at home, or continue and risk his ongoing resentment? It's heartbreaking to feel that every time I try something new, I'm met with resistance. -- STILL STITCHING IN THE SOUTH

DEAR STILL STITCHING: Your husband appears to be more than a little controlling by attempting to tell you how to spend your free time. Your hobby is what it is. It's a source of pleasure -- and it's not meant to be another income stream. Continue doing what you enjoy and please do not buckle under the pressure.

DEAR ABBY: I saw my husband's Instagram account, and he's following only women who show their bodies provocatively. Is that emotional cheating, or is it just lust? Also, is that grounds for divorce? His looking at and lusting after women online hurts my feelings. -- IMAGE PROBLEM IN ALABAMA

DEAR IMAGE PROBLEM: What you have described is lust. Emotional cheating involves starting a relationship with someone. While there are many grounds for divorce in the state of Alabama, looking "with lust" at scantily clad women on Instagram is not one of them. Many men do this, and it doesn't present a threat to their marriages. (Consider it an updated version of the old Playboy calendars you might have seen hanging in garages.)

Come to think of it, there was once a Playgirl magazine containing centerfolds with photos of gorgeous, scantily clad men. (I'm sure a friend told me about them.)

DEAR ABBY: I've been a hairstylist for 37 years. My niece is getting married in two months. Four months ago, my sister-in-law asked me to do her hair for the wedding, and I agreed. Well, about a month ago, I learned that another niece (who doesn't do hair) has offered to do it because she and her best friend want to start a wedding planning service. This hurts my feelings so bad. Please help me understand why I shouldn't be upset finding out about this. -- READY TO STYLE IN OHIO

DEAR READY: You write that another niece has offered to do the bride's hair. Did the bride accept her offer? If the answer is yes, dry your tears and wait to see the result when an amateur pushes a professional out of the way on the most important day in a young bride's life. If you have any compassion in your heart, pack your gear in your trunk and have it handy, because the bride may need your help. Desperately.

DEAR ABBY: Every time I tell my wife something, she questions it, doubts it or disagrees. I could walk inside soaking wet and say, "It's raining," and she'd still check her phone's weather app. We went to counseling years ago, but the counselor focused mainly on my communication problems, not so much on hers, which made her behavior worse.

I have reached my breaking point. I no longer want to talk to my wife because I know she'll question whatever I say. Each time it happens, I feel myself getting angrier. One day, I may snap and tell her exactly how I feel about her behavior. -- KEEP IT TO MYSELF

DEAR KEEP: "One day" you will tell her? How about getting it off your chest right now? Swallowing your anger has only allowed this problem to fester. Tell your wife you have reached your breaking point, that you both need more counseling from a different therapist. If she refuses, consult one for yourself, starting now.