DEAR ABBY: I saw my husband's Instagram account, and he's following only women who show their bodies provocatively. Is that emotional cheating, or is it just lust? Also, is that grounds for divorce? His looking at and lusting after women online hurts my feelings. -- IMAGE PROBLEM IN ALABAMA

DEAR IMAGE PROBLEM: What you have described is lust. Emotional cheating involves starting a relationship with someone. While there are many grounds for divorce in the state of Alabama, looking "with lust" at scantily clad women on Instagram is not one of them. Many men do this, and it doesn't present a threat to their marriages. (Consider it an updated version of the old Playboy calendars you might have seen hanging in garages.)

Come to think of it, there was once a Playgirl magazine containing centerfolds with photos of gorgeous, scantily clad men. (I'm sure a friend told me about them.)

DEAR ABBY: I've been a hairstylist for 37 years. My niece is getting married in two months. Four months ago, my sister-in-law asked me to do her hair for the wedding, and I agreed. Well, about a month ago, I learned that another niece (who doesn't do hair) has offered to do it because she and her best friend want to start a wedding planning service. This hurts my feelings so bad. Please help me understand why I shouldn't be upset finding out about this. -- READY TO STYLE IN OHIO

DEAR READY: You write that another niece has offered to do the bride's hair. Did the bride accept her offer? If the answer is yes, dry your tears and wait to see the result when an amateur pushes a professional out of the way on the most important day in a young bride's life. If you have any compassion in your heart, pack your gear in your trunk and have it handy, because the bride may need your help. Desperately.

DEAR ABBY: Every time I tell my wife something, she questions it, doubts it or disagrees. I could walk inside soaking wet and say, "It's raining," and she'd still check her phone's weather app. We went to counseling years ago, but the counselor focused mainly on my communication problems, not so much on hers, which made her behavior worse.

I have reached my breaking point. I no longer want to talk to my wife because I know she'll question whatever I say. Each time it happens, I feel myself getting angrier. One day, I may snap and tell her exactly how I feel about her behavior. -- KEEP IT TO MYSELF

DEAR KEEP: "One day" you will tell her? How about getting it off your chest right now? Swallowing your anger has only allowed this problem to fester. Tell your wife you have reached your breaking point, that you both need more counseling from a different therapist. If she refuses, consult one for yourself, starting now.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have been together 30-plus years. When our love was new, it was all smiles, hand-holding and thrills when we saw each other after a long day at work or school. And, I guess, that's normal.

Now, three kids and three grandkids later, we're edging past our mid-50s and there isn't much left. There are no more smiles and no more hand-holding, only two sad adults. We still love each other. Neither of us wants to be apart from the other, but we don't know how to bring back happiness.

We hardly touch, and neither of us remembers the last time we smiled or even really laughed. We sit in the same room, living two completely different lives. I am partially disabled, so there are no more long walks or outside activities, which we used to do 20 years ago.

We are now wondering: Is this the rest of our lives? Are we going to spend the next 20-plus years in a depressing marriage in which we love each other but no longer have anything in common? Our youngest daughter is 8, and our youngest grandson is 5. We watch the kids (15, 9, 8, 5) in the evening so our eldest can work. Is there any hope for us? -- SAD SPOUSE IN NEW YORK

DEAR SAD SPOUSE: You say that you and your husband love each other. There is hope for reviving your marriage if you agree to go to couples counseling together. Marriage involves more than smiles, hand-holding and thrills. It is a deep and caring partnership. Few couples can sustain the excitement of their honeymoon years. You and your husband have already done the hard work. Now you need to find your way back together.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I were dining with friends in a high-end restaurant. The food was great, and so was the conversation. My husband leaned close to me and whispered, "She's brushing her teeth!" I glanced to my left. I had thought the gal at the next table was just using a toothpick. No, she was vigorously brushing with a full-sized toothbrush!

After about a minute, she placed the toothbrush into a cosmetic bag and pulled out a denture container. She then proceeded to insert and adjust her retainer. We were flabbergasted. Never in all my years have I seen such appalling table manners. Perhaps we shouldn't have been staring, but it was one of those moments in which you are frozen to the spot.

Abby, that restaurant has very nice bathrooms. What is happening to our society? -- SHOCKED IN THE SOUTH

DEAR SHOCKED: I understand why this woman's performance stopped you cold. But, please, don't blame "society" for her ignorance of the rules of etiquette, which dictate that to avoid grossing out those around us in public, we should excuse ourselves from the table and take care of our oral hygiene privately, in the restroom if needed.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have been married for 40 years and share the same friendships -- joint, his and mine. We have camped, hosted parties and traveled with the same friends. My problem is my husband says I'm not allowed to speak privately with the males in our group unless I first confirm with him what I'm talking about. He also gives me the third degree about my visits with the wives, mainly to find out if their husbands were around.

In all our married years, I have never given him reason to think there's anything going on between me and anyone else. I have always held him in high regard. I consider him to be somebody with honesty and integrity, and I love him wholeheartedly.

Where in the world does he get off trying to order me around and think that I can't ask a question of his friends, or visit with his friends and their wives without asking his permission? This has been a longtime situation between us, and I'm tired of it -- almost to the point of leaving him and enjoying what's left of my life in peace with all kinds of people and relationships. Please help. -- PUT IN A CORNER IN OREGON

DEAR PUT: Why didn't you write to me about this 39 years ago? Your husband may be a man with "honesty and integrity," but he is also someone with bottomless insecurities and an insatiable need to control you. I am surprised it has taken 40 years of this for you to finally say to yourself, "Enough!" I would recommend marriage counseling for the two of you, but I seriously question his ability to change. Counseling for you alone might give you the courage to draw the line.

DEAR ABBY: After I found the courage to leave my abusive marriage, it has been difficult. My family refuses to accept that a woman could have actually abused a man, and they are very skeptical. Even after my mother and sister attended therapy with me, they still question my honesty, something that has never been questioned before. Still, I have an amazing 9-year-old daughter from the marriage. She is part of the reason I had to leave her mother: There was no way I could model acceptance of that abuse after her mother refused to seek help. I tried.

Now, two years later, I'm in a healthy relationship -- with another man. While my daughter is overjoyed because he treats both of us well, my family continues to attack me, even saying they were no longer going to speak to me. They say this is why I left my ex, even though it is not true. (I didn't anticipate this either.)

My mother, who refuses to talk to me, recently let me know she wants to take me to court for the right to see my daughter. My daughter no longer wants to spend any time with her after seeing how she has treated me. I don't think allowing visitation would be in my daughter's best interest. Should I be worried? -- UNRESOLVED IN OHIO

DEAR UNRESOLVED: Not every state has laws on the books that govern grandparents' rights. Ohio, where you reside, is one of those that does. Because your question is legal in nature, and you are rightly worried, the person you should ask would be a lawyer familiar with family law. I understand why you are worried, and you have my sympathy.