DEAR ABBY: My young daughter and I had the pleasure of spending three months with my parents while my husband was deployed. We had a lovely visit, but over the course of our stay, I noticed my parents were spending more time on their phones than previously. Both are retired and in their mid-60s.

I'm glad they are keeping up with technology, but I'm also concerned that their phone use may have a negative impact on their social health, behavioral health and mental acuity as they age. Growing up, we never had the TV or computers in our main living space, and screen time was limited. We ate dinner together every night, and socialization and conversation was an expectation.

During my stay, my parents brought their phones to the dinner table and grabbed them midmeal to answer messages or search things on the internet. Throughout the days, I'd look up from what I was doing and see them glued to their screens. This new behavior is so different from the way they raised me. How can I speak to them about my concerns and encourage them to consider decreasing their phone usage? -- NOTICED THE CHANGE IN WASHINGTON

DEAR NOTICED: Yes, many things have changed since the time when you were raised. But if you think the day has arrived for you to parent your parents, forget about it. It not only won't work, but it could also cause resentment because they are adults and not impressionable teenagers being educated about social interaction.

DEAR ABBY: My college roommate and I became close friends. I always thought he was a little bit arrogant. When I caught him getting upset that a girl liked me and not him, I realized he has always been about comparing and competing.

At age 30, after we ended up working for the same company, we had a falling-out. I'm sure he has his complaints about me, but I am no longer interested in being his friend. We're 36 now and still involved in our fantasy football league, so we see each other from time to time. We're generally civil to each other, especially for the sake of the league.

Well, he now wants to rekindle the friendship and keeps asking me to hang out. I've made excuses so far, and I wish he would take a hint, but I'm afraid I'm going to have to eventually tell him (again) that I'm not interested in hanging out. I don't want to hurt his feelings any more than I have to. Please help. -- NOT FEELING IT IN KANSAS

DEAR NOT FEELING IT: You are not obligated to have anything more to do with this person than you wish. If the only time the two of you interact is during the fantasy football season, he shouldn't be too hard to avoid. When he asks to hang out, continue doing what you have been, which is to say you are busy. Eventually, he may take the hint.

DEAR ABBY: I have three daughters with children of their own. Every year, we have a family vacation. My daughter "Monica's" children, ages 8 and 9, whom I love and see regularly, behave badly. They cuss, yell at adults and show no respect whatsoever.

We have brought this to Monica's attention multiple times. She always reacts like we are wrong and says, "I'm not going to beat my kids." At no time did we imply she should "beat" her kids, just give them a time-out or a scolding. If any of us tell them "Stop, please don't do that," they act like victims. It's so bad that one of my other daughters told us as we were planning a vacation that she will not be going because of Monica's kids' behavior.

Monica accuses us of not liking her kids and being mean. She goes to the school to argue with teachers and the principal if her kids tell her they didn't get their way. I don't know what her issue is. Her reasons sound like she is mentally ill. Anything you can recommend? -- NOT ENABLING IN NEVADA

DEAR NOT ENABLING: Monica is a terrible parent. A responsible mother would see that her children learn appropriate behavior before they get into serious trouble. Because you cannot help your daughter to see reality, I recommend you stop inviting Monica and her children on these vacations. Their behavior is unacceptable, and their cousins should not be further influenced by their bad example.

DEAR ABBY: I am a 70-year-old male caring for my 71-year-old wife. She has had health issues for more than 10 years. I own my own business and am the only employee, although my wife does help me with a portion of the business. Dealing with all her health issues, trying to run a business, trying to survive financially and navigating the world today is difficult.

I am seeking resources or a support group in my area that works with people who care for their family members. We have been to counseling, which helped, but did not help me with all that I feel and have to do. I don't think my wife could navigate this world on her own. Can you point me in the right direction? -- RESPONSIBLE IN TEXAS

DEAR RESPONSIBLE: You are carrying a heavy load. An organization called The Caregiver Action Network (formerly the National Family Caregivers Association) may be what you are seeking. Established in 1992, it works to improve the quality of life for tens of millions of family caregivers, providing education, peer support and resources to family caregivers across the country free of charge. For more information, go to caregiveraction.org or call 855-277-3640.

DEAR READERS: Today, we remember the birthday of Rev. Martin Luther King Jr. who in 1968 was martyred in the cause of civil rights. During a time of insanity, his was a voice of reason when he eloquently preached, "Love is the only force capable of transforming an enemy into a friend."

DEAR ABBY: I am neat and organized, but my wife is the opposite. She's messy and disorganized. I knew it before we married, but we made a handshake deal that she'd make an effort to pick up after herself once we moved in together. Unfortunately, it hasn't happened.

Every time she comes home, whatever she's carrying gets dropped on the nearest flat surface -- keys, bags, mail, you name it. She piles things up instead of putting them away and it feels like there's clutter everywhere I look. Our bed is often piled with clothes and other items stacked almost two feet high.

I find myself constantly picking up after her, which is exhausting and makes me feel like I'm the only one taking care of our house. Her lack of effort is driving me crazy and causing me significant stress. I've tried talking calmly to her, setting boundaries for clutter-free areas, even threatening divorce out of sheer frustration. Nothing seems to work. I don't know what else to do.

I love my wife and don't want our marriage to fall apart over this, but the constant mess is taking a toll on my mental health and our relationship. How can I approach this in a way that fosters understanding and cooperation? I want us to find a solution that works for both of us without making her feel criticized or attacked. -- MESSED UP

DEAR MESSED UP: Several thoughts come to mind. You, a man who is "super neat" knew your wife was messy but married her anyway. Short of divorcing her, would it be possible for you to designate certain areas of your home that you agree will remain clutter-free? If that isn't possible, could you do what some other couples have done, which is live apart? Marriage mediation might help your wife understand the message you have been trying (and failing) to deliver. It's worth a try, but lifelong habits are very hard to break.

DEAR ABBY: Our 24-year-old daughter is getting married in 10 months. My wife is invited to the wedding, but I am not, and I am furious. The groom's family is paying for the trip, but they say I am not invited "for financial reasons."

I don't have a great relationship with my daughter. But that isn't the point. I told my wife that if the roles were reversed and she was excluded, I would not go. This may be a deal-breaker for me. It's apparent that our marriage doesn't mean as much to my wife as it does to me. What are your thoughts? -- ELIMINATED IN TEXAS

DEAR ELIMINATED: What I think is it's terrible for your daughter to put her mother on the spot this way. By doing so she is putting a strain on your marriage. You and your wife need to ask your doctor for a referral to a licensed marriage and family therapist so you can hash this out before further damage is done to your relationship. Do I think your wife should forgo the wedding? What I think doesn't matter as much as what she does.